Upbeat Living: Happy World Day of Peace!

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Jeremy Gilley, Kebba Buckley Button, Peace Day, peace within, Pray, stress, The life you want, UpBeat Living, World Day of Peace

© 2016 Kebba Buckley Button, MS, OM.  World Rights Reserved. http://www.kebba.com

Today is World Day of Peace, appointed by the United Nations as an annual day of peace and ceasefire.  Even the Taliban has been cooperating with taking a day off from war, allowing humanitarian aid to flow into strife-torn areas.  For more on activities for this annual day, use your search bar to learn more about Jeremy Gilley, the founder and probably Chief Optimist of the movement, “Peace One Day”.  Many of us believe we can have peace in our time.  Today, in Phoenix, Arizona, about 250 people will gather at 6 pm, at the Franciscan Renewal Center, dressed in purple.  We will form the word, “MERCY”.  Like the word HOPE, in the photo above, our stubborn hearts believe that we are moving forward and helping to build the peace we wish to see.

Our beautiful planet and its 7 billion human tenants need peace now.  The other beings on the Planet need peace now.  The plant systems and climate systems on this extraordinary world need peace now.  There has been much upheaval lately, in climatic and human affairs.

We are at choice as to how we can help this peace come about.  We need to be good global citizens, work for social justice, develop our individual Peace Within, and pray often.  Number one is to keep ourselves grounded in our Peace Within, so we can keep up with the other needs.  Even prayer must come from a peaceful, hopeful, trusting heart.

With so many people so stressed out today, and with so many social issues hurting large numbers, it is crucial to stay as grounded and clear as you can, even joyful and grateful.  This is a major way you can help the Planet, and it’s a skill set.  Study positive ideas and books (such as Peace Within: Your Peaceful Inner Core), explore your faith, and keep returning to positive languaging and beliefs.  Learn to meditate, taking classes and increasing your personal peace-maintaining skills.  The more Peace Within you cultivate, the better your relationships will be, and the better able you will be to do what you can to help bring forth peace in our time.   Gandhi said,

If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. … We need not wait to see what others do.

For more on what you can do to bring about world peace, read the article Peace In Our Time: 3 Ways You Can Help ( http://wp.me/pyEwf-6C ) .  Then work on your Peace Within, and choose some other simple ways to help the World.  You can be a part of building the world your children will inherit.  And that’s Upbeat Living!

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Energy – Peace – Meditation

• Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert and award-winning author.  She also is an ordained minister and has a natural healing practice. Among her books are:  Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br),and Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core, Second Edition. Her newest book is Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine.  That book and Peace Within are available through her office.  Just email books@kebba.com or call the office at 480-250-1177.
• For an appointment or to book Rev. Kebba to speak for your group, email calendar@kebba.com

 

Upbeat Living: Does Rage Help?

Tags

at choice, Charlie Sheen, Kebba Buckley Button, Rage, stress, The life you want, UpBeat Living

© 2016 Kebba Buckley Button, MS, OM.  www.kebba.com

© eelsonova – Fotolia

Does rage help?  In Upbeat Living(sm), we do what is most effective for the way we want to live.  Usually, that’s happy holistic living.  Sometimes we see events in the news that show us again how very important it is to live the Upbeat Living way.  Let’s consider a couple of situations.

If you had “upset” a vase full of flowers, what would that look like?  It might look like the vase was now on its side, or smashed on the ground, with the flowers and water all over.  Would it help the vase, the flowers, or the water, to be “upset”?  Maybe your cat knocked the vase over, probably without intending to.  Every element would now be in disarray, none fulfilling its purpose or providing any joy.  There is no benefit in the vase being “upset”.

The same is true of humans.  We have a choice as to whether something will “upset” us, or turn us on our side.  Would you be upset if a cat knocked over your vase of flowers?  Would you be less upset if the cat were your favorite, the vase generic, and the flowers from someone you detested?  What if you learned, right after the vase was smashed, that the flowers were a rare, expensive type, sent by a dear loved one who you just learned had gone into hospice this morning?  Would you feel more grief over the same scene?  The scene would be the same, but your interpretation would be different.  You would react differently, based on your ideas about the same scene.  What would be the most effective way to respond?  Calmly and quickly?

Celebrity news is great for illustrating basics of living, at a dramatic level.  Awhile ago, we read that Charlie Sheen went into a rage and trashed a hotel room.  The damage, including a broken chandelier, is said by USAToday.com to have been about $7000.  And why was this successful actor so upset that he was actually in a rage, tearing up his hotel room at the Plaza Hotel in New York?  Police called to the scene said he was having trouble finding his wallet and cellphone after spending time with a professional purveyor of sexual pleasure.  His response was to rip apart various things in the room.

Did he really think the chandelier was hiding his wallet and cellphone, thus deserving to be punched out?  Famous for spending time with, um, purveyors, did he not yet have a procedure to protect himself?  Does he not always leave the cash in the bedside table and tuck his wallet and phone in the lining of his suitcase, or in the room safe?  He was at choice when he hired the, um, purveyor.  He was at choice when he put his objects wherever in the room.  He was at choice getting drunk or taking drugs.  He was at choice when he realized his objects were in no obvious location.  He was at choice when he went into a rage and chose to tear up hotel property.  He would also have been at choice, had he quietly called hotel security to assist him, his cel company to turn off his phone, and the, um, purveyor’s provider to report the issue.

Charlie Sheen’s choices resulted in police being called and Charlie owing the hotel thousands of dollars.  In addition, he is seen again as a person who has no control, or rather, a person who makes lousy choices that work for no one.  And the worst effect?  His ex-wife and their two daughters were staying in the same hotel.  While Charlie was choosing his behaviors, was he considering what his daughters would think of him?  You decide.  And you choose your behavior.  And that’s Upbeat Living.

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Energy – Peace – Meditation

• Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert and award-winning author.  She also is an ordained minister and has a natural healing practice. Among her books are: Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br),and Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core, Second Edition. Her newest book is Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine.  That book and Peace Within are available through her office.  Just email books@kebba.com or call the office at 480-250-1177.
• For an appointment or to book Rev. Kebba to speak for your group, email calendar@kebba.com

Upbeat Living: Rudeness Stress and How to Handle It

Tags

at choice, Kebba Buckley Button, Rude, Rudeness Stress, stress, UpBeat Living

© 2016 Kebba Buckley Button, MS, OM.  World Rights Reserved.

Rudeness Stress is all too prevalent now, as more people are stressed out than ever before, and it seems “reasonable” to them to be rude, nasty, and profane to you.  Of course you feel stressed by someone being rude, but you’ve come to the right place.  This column is committed to helping you live with the most joy and satisfaction you can.  Science and reason come together here, to give you the best ways to have the best life you can: best relationships, improved health and less aging.  We call this Upbeat Living^sm.

So when you inevitably get rude and nasty behavior aimed at you, know this:

• Difficult people are a very common source of stress. They can totally suck your energy and leave you exhausted and frustrated– if you let them.
• And that is what they want! Some are insecure and trying to bring others down to their level.
• Some see your light shining and are jealous, so they want to dim your light, if they can.
• Some simply enjoy others’ pain, and they hope to hurt you, especially in front of others.
• Your best response is usually no response. And others will give YOU credit.
• And you are always at choice about how you respond.

An unknown writer said,

Be thankful for the difficult people.  They have shown you exactly who you don’t want to be. 

 

Famous motivational pastor, Joel Osteen, said,

Sometimes, God uses difficult people, like sandpaper, to rub the rough edges off of us. 

 

So, for example, if someone has just made you the butt of a joke in front of others, keep smiling.  They gave you a gag award for talking too much?  Here’s your strategy.  With a cheerful smile on your face, and possibly a little laugh, say, “Isn’t it wonderful we all have such a great sense of humor!”  Then quietly, peacefully, walk away.  No rolling your eyes. Portray pleasant happiness.  Smile as you walk away.  If you think they were trying to humiliate you, they were.  If you can pretend you found the humiliating circumstance funny, do that, laugh, and again, walk away, because you are very busy and need to get to your next meeting/deadline/appointment. If it was at a company party, never go again.  You are so busy, you can’t think what your calendar holds for that day, when they ask you to the next company party.  A lot of people never go to company parties, and now you are one of them.

Are there experiences you have had with rude and/or nasty people?  How did you deal with it?  What now seems like the most effective way to deal with it?

A fractured Latin phrase advises us:  Nil Illegitimi Carborundum, or “Don’t let the bastards wear you down”.  Again, don’t give them energy.  You have a right to lead a healthy and happy life. When you encounter Rudeness Stress next time, be brief in dealing with anything negative. Soon, you will notice your stamina rising and your happiness taking over.  And that’s Upbeat Living!

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• If you enjoy this post, please click “like” in the FB widget in the right hand column! You’ll have our undying gratitude plus a huge rise in your Good Karma! Due  to a recent FB change, our “likes” look low.  Thanks for your help!

Energy – Peace – Meditation

• Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert.  She also has a natural healing practice and is an ordained minister. She is the author of the award-winning book, Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), plus the 2013 book, Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core, Second Edition(http://tinyurl.com/mqg3uvc ). Her newest book is Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine, available through her office.  Just email SacredMeditation@kebba.com. 
• For an appointment or to ask Kebba to speak for your group: calendar@kebba.com .

UpBeat Living: End All Excuse-Making!

Tags

at choice, Excuses, Excuses stress, stress, The life you want, UpBeat Living

© 2016 Kebba Buckley Button, MS, OM.  World Rights Reserved

 

Today, I urge you to consider reducing your stress by ending all excuse-making. It doesn’t help you or your responsibilities.  It weakens you, your relationships, and any products you are delivering late. You can do your best to complete your commitments in a timely manner, or you can make excuses. If you are routinely running late, it’s time to change how much you commit to.  It’s making you look bad and frustrating everyone involved.

When you were a kid, you probably remember some other kid telling the teacher, “[T]he dog ate my homework!’  The kid’s excuse was the reason s/he gave for not having the homework done, or at least not having it to turn in.  The “excuse” was offered to hopefully get out of the responsibility for the commitment, in this case, arriving with completed homework.  The kid was not taking responsibility.

A friend produces an e-newsletter every week, for a large group.  As Editor, with the needs for list maintenance and editing the event submittals every week, she spends an average of a half day a week on the e-newsletter.  She finishes the newsletter event section each week, when a particular movie event submittal comes in.  The movie event obviously depends on theater listings, which don’t come out until Friday morning each week.  Recently, my editor friend received an email request, just as she was finishing sending the week’s e-newsletter.  The Late Requester wanted her to send out an event announcement for a couple of days forward.

My friend e-replied that the e-newsletter had already gone out for the week.  She said she had needed the event information by the night before, or at the latest, by 9 am that morning.  She highlighted the section of the e-newsletter that always gave the deadline.  The Late Requester wrote again, asking if the Editor couldn’t make an exception just this one time; the Late Requester said she had been waiting for the entertainment listing to be determined, so she would not create a conflict with the entertainment event for the same date.  The Editor and the Requestor had been sent the entertainment event information 5 hours before the late request.  The Editor chose not to waste her time and energy replying again.

Are you curious?  What was the Late Requester doing during the 5 hours between the time the entertainment event details were emailed to her and the time she emailed the Editor?  And why did the Late Requester not dial the phone and ask the Editor to “hold the presses”?  The Editor’s phone number is conveniently listed in every week’s e-newsletter, as well as in the print newsletter, and on the group’s websites.  If you think the Late Requester could have been more effective, then you understand that “waiting for the entertainment event details” was simply an excuse.  Further, did the Late Requester think, with a good enough excuse, that the e-newsletter would magically retract in time and not-have-gone-out?  She missed the deadline!  The e-news was gone across the e-waves!  The Late Requester would have received her own copy by then!  Is that what made her realize she meant to submit a listing?  Let’s exhale together now.

If, like the Late Requester, you love making excuses, rather than taking responsibility for making things go the way you want, you may love this website:  http://madtbone.tripod.com/, or, “The Mother of All Excuses Place”.  The site was inspired by a wealth of excuses people in a particular workplace offered, for not coming to work for the day.  The collection was so entertaining that it expanded to include sections for:  missing school and homework excuses, police or accident excuses, kids excuses, getting out of family events and holiday functions, breaking dates, doctor excuses, doctors note, missing church, wedding, diet excuses, why I ate that, debt excuses, tax excuses, not paying the rent, getting out of home repair excuses, unwanted house guest excuses, jury duty, defense excuses, not voting, no sex, miscellaneous excuses, excuses for becoming addicted to online slots, excuse related humor, and more.

If what you want is the best life you can create, consider ending all excuse making!  Take responsibility to empower yourself and have better results everywhere.  And that’s Upbeat Living!

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Energy – Peace – Meditation

• Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert.  She also has a natural healing practice and is an ordained minister. She is the author of the award-winning book, Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), plus the 2013 book, Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core, Second Edition. That and her newest book,  Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine, are available through her office.  Just email SacredMeditation@kebba.com. 
• For an appointment or to ask Kebba to speak for your group: calendar@kebba.com .
• Recent changes have made our Facebook likes look low.  Would you click “Like” in the right-hand column?  You’ll get our appreciation and a huge rise in your good karma!

 

Upbeat Living: Profanity Stress?

Tags

at choice, Kebba Buckley Button, profanity, Profanity stress, stress, UpBeat Living

© 2016  Kebba Buckley Button, MS, OM.  World Rights Reserved.

Is the English-speaking segment of the World now in Profanity Stress?  In the last few months, I have noticed a large shift in one area of the American language:  an upswing in the use of language that would have been unacceptable even 2 years ago.  It’s languaging that is still regarded as rude or profane enough that it needs to be bleeped in broadcast media.  Yet, on television evening talk shows, in live entertainment shows, and in campaign speeches, we now have the common and deliberate use of profanity.  Try to find one episode of one entertainment show without it.

In order to report on these performances, media need to cover the speaker’s mouth with a pixelated effect, a cartoon “pow”, or other obscuring effects, plus making some sound that prevents hearing the word/s.  A new video of a key Presidential candidate goes on for minutes with a montage of recent public occasions where he spoke in ways that required bleeping. Urban music has been using profanity for years, but performances on broadcast media often use substitute words for Those Words.  So why would current candidates use these words?  (I’ll wait…)

Apparently, they believe they will gain favor with those particular audiences, and that favor is worth the negative reactions they will get later from some.  But harsh wording is harsh on your nervous system.  You get a little stress jolt from hearing profanity.  The more profanity, the more of a stress jolt.  And you’ll get a social reaction jolt from people who don’t need to hear profanity.

I have written articles previously on the phenomenon that profanity can, in fact, release stress  (http://wp.me/pw4HM-mG), IF you don’t use it very much.  Swearing can actually reduce pain when you get injured.  But that isn’t what this current phenomenon is.

One of my key references for how life has changed with the decades is my 1912 edition of Everybody’s Cyclopedia, a 5-volume set of words people thought were important several years before World War I.  That’s right.  I own a dictionary/encyclopedia from 1912.  It was prepared by writers and scholars connected to the Encyclopedia Britannica. And in this fascinating set of the best of the World’s concerns and knowledge 100 years ago were:  none of the words being bleeped today!  The word “profanity” isn’t even in Everybody’s Cyclopedia, let alone the names of personal body parts or sexual functions.  Not even the word “sex”.

Do we really need to be using profanity in public venues?  Do late-night talk show hosts really think it’s punchy and funny? Or are they trying to be “relevant”?  Has the American public sunk so low in education and taste, that they will only “enjoy” a Presidential candidate and vote for her/him if s/he uses profanity?  And what are those speechwriters thinking as they compose this material?

Is this languaging simply “relevant” noise?  For each of us, we need to decide how to craft our best life.  We are at choice at all times.  And using language that gives us a stress jolt is likely not for our Highest and Best good.  Don’t we all have enough stress already?  Dump your Profanity Stress and live at a higher level.  And that’s Upbeat Living^sm!

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Energy – Peace – Meditation

• Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert.  She also has a natural healing practice and is an ordained minister. She is the author of the award-winning book, Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), plus the 2013 book, Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core, Second Edition(http://tinyurl.com/mqg3uvc ). Her newest book is Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine, available through her office.  Just email SacredMeditation@kebba.com.  
• For an appointment or to ask Kebba to speak for your group: calendar@kebba.com .

Upbeat Living: Don’t Give in to Evil

Tags

Bastille Day, Don't give in to Evil, evil, freedom, Kebba Buckley Button, stress, UpBeat Living

© 2016 Kebba Buckley Button, MS, OM.  World Rights Reserved.

A major piece of the Upbeat Living^sm lifestyle choice is not letting evil get to you: Don’t Give in to Evil!  When we are in Upbeat Living, we celebrate the good, and we select the highest and best thoughts, languaging, actions,and experiences.  These choices lead us into better brain health, stronger relationships and families, more joy, and longer and healthier lives.  The apostle Paul said [Phillipians 4:8],

Brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

This week I wrote about celebrating freedom, and I talked about France’s annual July 14^th celebration of independence, widely known as Bastille Day.  I urged readers to think about and celebrate their own freedom.  Yesterday, many thousands of nice people gathered to watch July 14^th  fireworks in France, the UK, Belgium, the Czech Republic, and a number of other countries.  Suddenly, in Nice, France, a huge truck rammed through the crowds, with a single driver using an automatic weapon to kill as many as possible.  This is evil.  This act was a celebration of taking evil to the maximum level this individual could manage.  There were at least 10 children among the 84 dead, and a number of people are on life support at this hour.

The point of this kind of evil is to paralyze your mind, heart, and actions.  So don’t let it.  Whenever you feel fear of people who are violent or simply nasty, think an opposite thought.  Think of ministries in third world countries, making sure children have sandals on their feet and meals and medical care.  Think of nonprofits rescuing girls from human trafficking.  Think of India passing legislation against child slavery.  Think of Worldfish, an organization helping hungry countries develop their own food supplies through fisheries.  Think of the animal welfare organizations that have convinced major circuses to retire their elephants and create elephant sanctuaries; this is happening 2 years earlier than originally planned.  Think of the infant orangutans, snatched from their mothers to be pets for people, rescued by animal welfare organizations and now living with other orangutans, not isolated, but in sanctuaries.  Think of food banks providing free food for those who need it.  Think of some good you can wreak on the world.

You have a right to the best internal life you can muster, and you are always at choice. You have a right to choose gratitude and joy.  So Don’t Give in to Evil.  It’s your life!  And that’s Upbeat Living.

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• If you enjoy this post, please click “like” in the FB widget in the right hand column. You’ll have our undying gratitude plus a huge rise in your Good Karma! Due to a recent FB change, our “likes” look low.  Thanks for your help!

Energy – Peace – Meditation

• Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert.  She also has a natural healing practice and is an ordained minister. She is the author of the award-winning book, Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), plus the 2013 book, Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core, Second Edition(http://tinyurl.com/mqg3uvc ). Her newest book is Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine, available through her office.  Just email SacredMeditation@kebba.com. 
• For an appointment or to ask Kebba to speak for your group: bookings@kebba.com .

Different Stress: Freedom to be Different

Tags

at choice, Dealing with stress, Feeling energized, freedom, Freedom to be different, Kebba Buckley Button, stress, The life you want

©2016  Kebba Buckley Button, MS, OM.  World Rights Reserved.

Do you ever think about your freedom to be different?  Each July 4^th, we in the USA celebrate our broadest freedom:  the founding of our country, on the basis of people’s right to live as they choose.  We rightly remind ourselves that, “[F]reedom isn’t free.”

Hundreds of thousands fought and even gave their lives, here and abroad, to establish and keep the freedom this country enjoys.  Most Americans want people to live entirely as they choose.  Each American can choose how to express himself/herself.  Yet how much do we exercise this vital freedom?

Can others tell you what is right to wear?  Each year, the fashion world changes the colors and shapes of fashion that are “in”.  Some  people like to play the game and buy new colors and styles, mixing up their wardrobe collection to have fresh looks.  But there are extremes of cultural ideas about what fashions are important to match.  Last year I saw a video scene that still burns in my memory.  In a Taliban-ruled community, girls at age 11 were expected to start wearing a light blue burka with an open-weave eye opening.  One day, twenty girls looked at each other and asked, “[W]hat would happen if we took these off?”  They took them off and joyfully ran down a hill, together, celebrating their humanity, not their sameness.

Being different isn’t a bad thing.  It means you are brave enough to be yourself.

~Unknown

Some of our differences are aspects we are born with.  I was born with white-blonde hair, 10 fingers and 10 toes.  My sisters were all born with dark red hair, each with 10 fingers and 10 toes.  We were often called “cotton top” and “carrot top”.  Riding a train one day, leaving New York City, I helped a woman with a beautiful baby in a carrier.  I had never before seen a baby with 6 perfect toes on each gorgeous little foot. So where is it written that 10 is the correct number of toes?  These were perfect.  My ideas of what is normal, same, and usual expanded that day.

A priest friend of mine has a son, Christopher, who is now 7.  When he was about 6, my friend shared this story, which I am sharing with her generous permission:  “Christopher came home from his 2 nights at church camp raving about the ‘coolest man who was born with only one hand!’ The fact that he was born this way delighted him and clearly expanded his worldview immensely, because it hadn’t occurred to him this was a possibility before. We may get nervous when our kids stare at someone who looks different than them, but C made it clear that differences are marvelous, exciting, and inspiring. Children are curious about people and want to celebrate the uniqueness of others which then, I imagine, makes the other not quite so other. And I am pretty sure that’s what the world needs. Thanks, Christopher.”

How much do we believe everyone is or should be the same? When we take delight in our originality and our differences, we are free.  Celebrate your freedom and feel the joy. As you are able, exercise your freedom to be different.  Truly, we are In/Joy/Meant.  And that’s Upbeat Living!

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Energy – Peace – Meditation

• Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert.  She also has a natural healing practice and is an ordained minister. She is the author of the award-winning book, Discover The Secret Energized You
• (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), plus Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core, Second Edition. Her newest book is Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine. Both that book and Peace Within are available through her office.  Just email books@kebba.com. 
• For an appointment or to ask Kebba to speak for your group: calendar@kebba.com.

 

Excuses Stress

Tags

at choice, choices, Excuses, Excuses stress, stress, The life you want, UpBeat Living

© 2016 Kebba Buckley Button, M.S., O.M.  World Rights Reserved.

I collect quirky media stories, and this one came to mind today, as I was thinking about Excuses  Stress: the static and drain caused by someone else or ourselves making excuses. Several years ago, I found this gem: “Ex-wife accused of identity theft blames dog for leading her astray”.  In Arlington, Washington, an ex-husband found money was leaving his accounts without his previous permission.  Police investigators determined his ex-wife was paying her expenses with the unauthorized funds.  When asked about using her ex-husband’s bank account, the woman said her dog ate her personal checks and she had no choice but to use her ex-husband’s account.

Now let’s back up a moment.  She said she believed she had no choice.  But we are always at choice. Most people have another pad of checks, because checks typically come in batches of 160 or more. So maybe the dog ate all her check pads, as well as her checks in her checkbook, which was lying within reach of the dog’s mouth (why?).  This woman probably has a debit card and can make online payments.   She didn’t choose to do that.  Debit cards and emergency replacement checks are available at all branches of her bank or credit union.  The woman didn’t choose to avail herself of those services.

So maybe there was a long holiday weekend involved and she couldn’t talk to staff at her bank branch for 3 days.  But hello!  The banks all have 800 numbers with staff standing by to help customers around the clock.  As far as we know, she didn’t choose to call the 800 number, nor did she email or try online chat to get help.  Alright, so maybe there was a storm and all long-distance phone service was down.  In desperation, perhaps the ex-wife thought, well, maybe I can use my ex-husband’s account.  This leaves yet 4 more questions:

1. Why did she not choose to ask his permission?
2. How did she still know or have a record of his bank account number?
3. With her own check pads all destroyed (if we accept that), where/how did she get checks from his account?
4. Was she planning all this in advance, and is that how she had whatever she needed to access his account?  That sounds much like a group of choices. Planning is making choices.

Benjamin Franklin said,

He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.

According to the ex-wife’s version of events, implicitly, if she had fed the dog something tastier than checks, none of this fuss would ever have occurred.  Oh, but that must be wrong, because then she would have had some responsibility for what happened and for solving it.  Now she is being investigated for identity theft and forgery.  If she goes to jail, she will have many fewer choices.  I hope she will see the irony.

In this story, the ex-husband is no-doubt stressed by having to deal with his ex-wife taking his funds.  Now she is stressed because she has been caught and held responsible.  (And she still has to order herself some checks.)  People who make excuses just hate being held responsible.  Excuses are the stories people offer, to keep from taking responsibility for their ineffective and “bad” choices.

Life is our greatest experiment, with hundreds of choices to make each day.  With the option to make many choices comes the responsibility of making those that will give us the strongest results.  Are you currently making any excuses for the way you are handling or not handling something? Why not exit your excuses and start experimenting, to build up your positive lifestyle more?  That can eliminate your Excuses Stress!

And please, will you keep your dog and your checks completely separated?  And send me any quirky news items you find!  Now that’s Upbeat Living^sm!

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Energy – Peace – Meditation

 

 

 

 

 

• Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert.  She also has a natural healing practice and is an ordained minister. She is the author of the award-winning book, Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), plus the 2013 book, Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core, Second Edition(http://tinyurl.com/mqg3uvc). Her newest book is Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine, available through her office.  Just email SacredMeditation@kebba.com. 
• For an appointment or to ask Kebba to speak for your group: calendar@kebba.com .
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Opinion Stress: What You Think of Me Is None of My Business

Tags

achieving goals, acid stress, at choice, Effective living, Kebba Buckley Button, Letting go, moving on, Releasing, UpBeat Living

© 2015 Kebba Buckley Button, MS, OM. World Rights Reserved.

 

Fotolia

 

Now be honest: how many times today did you consider someone else’s ideas about you? How many decisions did you make because someone else would or would not like exactly what you did? If your hair is royal blue and forms a peak across the center of your skull, maybe this isn’t you. Or maybe it is.

 

As a stress management expert, I want you to navigate as freely and joyfully through your life as you can. I want you to find the greatest health and fulfillment you can. And that means dealing firmly with the things that cause you stress, pain, and fatigue.  The results are a lifestyle I call Upbeat Living, always emphasizing the Up beat, like the music term.

 

One of the things I see most draining people is the desire to make a choice that is harmless to others, but there is fear of others’ opinions. So many of these fears are small. For example: you’re having lunch with a vegetarian, but you really crave a burger, and that’s better for your metabolism; you’re afraid to order what you want, for fear of disapproval. Or you want to cut your hair short and dye it vivid red, but you’re afraid of negative feedback in the workplace or that the one you’re dating will be less attracted to you. But some of these fears are bigger: maybe you want to leave your current financial career that’s sucking your soul dry. But you’re afraid your family will disown you if you become a chef.

 

Argue for your limitations and they are yours.

~ Rev. Terry Cole-Whittaker

 

If the vegetarian expresses disapproval of your lunch order, the message is that you are wrong—not worthy. If your workplace expresses disapproval of your hair color, the message is that you are wrong—not worthy—for their group. And if your family would disown you for quitting your draining job and becoming a chef, the message is that you are wrong and not worthy.

 

Several decades ago, I encountered a book by (Rev.) Terry Cole-Whittaker, with the most amusing title: What You Think Of Me Is None Of My Business. Cole-Whittaker believes firmly that each of us is already a complete person, with nothing missing. So we cannot be inadequate.

God does not make junk!

~ Rev. Terry Cole-Whittaker

So according to Cole-Whittaker, other people are not our source, the Divine is. Since God/the Universe/the Divine is completely infinite, all options are open to us, and the sky is the limit. Or not even. She encourages us to think very freely about why we’re attached to what and whom, and to be open to just releasing those attachments. We often have a very strong sense of possession: MY job, MY hairdresser, MY beloved. She tells of realizing she was hanging onto her first marriage, long after it was no longer working or salvageable. She finally got honest with herself and saw she didn’t want anyone else to have her husband!

 

Try this: find 15 minutes of you-time in a quiet place. Or find it in a charming coffee shop where you plug in your laptop, with the hum and chatter of the place creating happy white noise. Now free-write to yourself and the Universe about your life—what you like and don’t, what’s working and what isn’t, what and how you would have things in your dream life. Do you see ways in which you’re feeling stuck? Now: YOU are the only person who can choose differently.

 

What I think of you is none of your business. And what you think of me is none of my business. But what you think of your life, what nurtures you, and what would make you happy and fulfilled—those things are entirely your business. Create some you-time every day, as you can, and keep writing to yourself and the Universe. Keep adding to the “discussion” you have going with you and the Divine. Notice what makes your heart dim or race. Notice you’re beginning to make small changes. And maybe you’re starting to make big ones.  Now, that’s Upbeat Living!

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Energy – Peace – Meditation

 

 

 

 

 

 

• Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert.  She also has a natural healing practice and is an ordained minister. She is the author of the award-winning book, Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), plus the 2013 book, Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core, Second Edition(http://tinyurl.com/mqg3uvc ). Her newest book is Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine, available through her office. Just email SacredMeditation@kebba.com.
• For an appointment or to ask Kebba to speak for your group: calendar@kebba.com .

UpBeat Living: Forgiveness Part 2: Forgiveness for Empowerment

Tags

allergy relief, Amish, at choice, Dr. Eileen Borris, forgive, Forgiveness, Grudges, moving on, peace, peace within, Peacemaking, personal peace, stress, The Dalai Lama, UpBeat Living

© 2014  Kebba Buckley Button,  MS, OM.  World Rights Reserved.

 

Dr. Eileen Borris

In Forgiveness Part 1  (http://wp.me/pw4HM-jI), we talked about how important it is to your own health and wellbeing, to forgive.  The extraordinary forgiveness of an Amish community showed how humans can choose to follow their faith, forgive murders, extend compassion to the family of the murderer, and move on in constructive ways.  This time, we consider the work of an international reconciliation expert and how we can choose to be affected by her work.

 

Dr. Eileen Borris (www.globalpeaceinitiatives.com) can teach you what you need to know about finding forgiveness.  She has been teaching forgiveness and reconciliation around the world for the Institute for Multi-Track  Diplomacy (Washington, DC), the U.S. Agency for International Development (USAID) and the United Nations Development Fund for Women (UNIFEM).  The last time I saw her she had just returned from giving workshops in Kuwait.  She was about to go to Rwanda, for the Healing Wounds of History Conference.  Wherever she goes, Dr. Borris transforms.

 

It is possible to realize that the past is past, that continuing to feel anger and hatred serves no purpose.

~ The Dalai Lama

 

In her book, Finding Forgiveness, the Foreword is offered by none other than His Holiness, The Dalai Lama.  His Holiness points out that: “When we become angry, we stop being compassionate, loving, generous, forgiving, tolerant, and patient altogether.  We deprive ourselves of the very things that happiness consists of…it is possible to realize that the past is past, that continuing to feel anger and hatred serves no purpose.”

 

Dr. Borris’s core methodology involves 7 steps:  becoming clear, telling your story, working with anger, working with guilt, reframing the situation, absorbing pain, and gaining inner peace.  She does not ask you to deny the wrong that occurred.  She does not ask you to forget it.  She does not ask you to not-seek appropriate justice where a crime has occurred.  What she does do is expose the complexities of forgiveness and invite you to work this process, ultimately setting yourself free.

© 2014 Kebba Buckley Button, MS, OM

 

Why do we need to forgive?  The final purpose for the individual is empowerment.  You  are at choice at all times.  When you forgive, you get back your power over whoever made you their victim.  Dr. Borris makes the point that animals do not hate.  Hatred requires conceptual thought.  But humans are able to hold thoughts of hate and vengeance lifelong.  How much energy does this steal from a person’s upbeat living lifestyle, joy, health, and productivity?

 

Try this for a moment:  bring to mind some terrible personal injustice that was done to you, which you have had trouble forgetting.  Perhaps someone attacked you.  Perhaps a boss treated you badly or even fired you unfairly.  Perhaps Mom always loved your sibling better.  Perhaps someone badmouthed you, telling tales that were totally unfounded.  Bring this injustice to mind and feel vividly the stress and emotions that come with it.  Did your heart hurt or your back tighten up between the shoulder blades?  Did your shoulder tops tighten painfully?  How about your neck, your head, or your stomach?  Do these sensations feel like they are blessing or enhancing your beingness in any way?  Of course not.  So what has the toll on your mind, heart, body, and spirit been, in the months or years since the injustice occurred?  Is that toll enriching your life in any way?  Of course not.

 

 Whatever your faith basis, does it make sense to hang onto any burden you do not need to hang onto?

~ Rev. Kebba Buckley Button

 

If you would like to challenge yourself, try the following exercise.  Get a pen and paper, and make notes of your thoughts and experiences as you do this.  Imagine your life if the injustice had never occurred.  What hours would you have spent enjoying life and your loved ones?  Would your marriage be better?  What friendships might you have developed, based on sharing happiness and companionship, that you did not because of the injustice?  How well would you have slept?  What excellent health would you have had all this time?  How much better would your concentration have been, on the job or in fulfilling recreation or charity work?  Would you have earned more money?  So what if you could have forgiven this injustice early in the game, and not spent any of this time on distraction, negativity, complaining, and generally experiencing a burden?  These may be tough questions for many of us.

 

Whatever your faith basis, does it make sense to hang onto any burden you do not need to hang onto?  You are always at choice.  What is your willingness to possibly hang up self-burdening beliefs about the importance of an injustice to you?  If these questions are provocative for you, why not pursue them further?  Your journey can be very freeing.

 

Now imagine living in a community where everyone is compassionate, everyone forgives and there is no impulse for revenge.  Now imagine that in the World community.  Countries would be waging peace, not war.  Imagine.

 

Some resources for further reading and techniques include:  Bruderhof Forgiveness Guide (www.foregivenessguide.org), A Course In Miracles (acim.org), Forgiveness Foundation (forgivenessfoundation.org), and the Forgiveness Project (forgivenessproject.com).

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● Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert.  She is the author of the award-winning book, Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), plus the 2013 book, Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core, Second Edition (http://tinyurl.com/mqg3uvc).  She also has a natural healing practice and is an ordained minister.

● Liked this article?  You can buy Kebba’s books:  just click the links!

• Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br). 
• Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core (Second Edition) (http://tinyurl.com/mqg3uvc)             

● Enjoyed this post?  Please click “like” in the FB widget in the right hand column!  You’ll have our undying gratitude plus a huge rise in your Good Karma.

● Please comment!

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● Reach the writer at kebba@kebba.com .