Healthy Happy Loving Life: Chemo Mission Complete!

30 Saturday Jul 2022

Posted by Kebba Buckley Button in beating cancer, chemo, chemotherapy, Dealing with stress, rainbows, stress, Stress Management, the life you want

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beating cancer, chemo, chemotherapy, Grief, Kebba Buckley Button, rainbows, The life you want, UpBeat Living

Last July, I was diagnosed with a rare and aggressive cancer. I suddenly began a journey with Mayo Clinic, involving surgery and chemotherapy. Mayo is very serious about beating cancer. Within days of the diagnosis, I was in surgery, then chemo every 4 weeks for a year, plus many blood draws and scans to see how I was doing. Friends gave me many rides to my many appointments.

Here, I am sharing 4 images that are very important to me. After those many visits to the chemo unit, I wanted a photo of me in the chair. And I love the image of the drip monitor saying, “INFUSION COMPLETE”. Yes! The series is complete, and I will never need to be in that room again. We did the work. The colorful certificate, above, was provided by the nurses, a team of whom presented themselves cheerfully at the completion of my last infusion. They were wearing sparkly hats and carrying quiet noisemakers, jumping up and down, celebrating my success.

Finally, I love rainbows and their meaning as God’s promise/s that all will be well, starting now. And here is one that God offered me a few days ago, after a PET scan showed there is no longer any cancer!!

Mayo will continue to draw my blood and scan me, for several years. But now I focus on getting my strength back and enjoying my life and loved ones, my work and my clients. And that is me, shaping the new life I want, ever more Healthy Happy and Loving Life^sm!

In my daily series this month, I hope to strongly convince you that positive living is the way to be, and that it results in greater health and happiness and joy. Plus, it’s more fun! And that would be me and you, shaping our lives anew, ever more Healthy Happy and Loving Life^sm!

Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert, holistic healer, and award-winning author who celebrates life. She has a longtime natural healing practice and is an ordained minister. Among her books are: Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), Inspirations for Peace Within: Quotes and Images to Uplift and Inspire, and Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine. The books are available on Amazon and through Kebba’s office. They are also available in Scottsdale, Arizona, at the Franciscan Renewal Center bookstore and at the bookstore at St. Barnabas on the Desert Episcopal Church. Or simply email us to order: kebba@kebba.com . Thank you!

Books by Kebba Buckley Button

Healthy Happy Loving Life: My Ridiculous Year Since My Life Turned On A Dime

28 Thursday Jul 2022

Posted by Kebba Buckley Button in beating cancer, Dealing with stress, loss of a spouse, stress, Stress Management, the life you want

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beating cancer, Grief, Grieving, Kebba Buckley Button, loss of a spouse, The life you want, UpBeat Living

Ron and Kebba Button. Image by Judy Mangino.

Today marks the milestone of one year since my life became ridiculous. One year ago, I suddenly became a chemo patient, a widow, and a home flood survivor. My husband was 19 years older than me, and he preferred not to have any medical help. As he had been very ill, I was not surprised when he began vomiting blood. There is no sight like 6 buff paramedics in your front hallway, each holding strange boxes and parcels of equipment. They quickly determined Hunky Husband needed to go immediately to a certain hospital– the nearest, and a fantastic emergency/trauma center. He would never come home again.

My identity as wife changed to my identity as widow in days. Most of the time I was going through chemo, I was a widow. I had his wedding band resized for me, and I wore it all the time. But now, stepping over the threshold into my new life, it no longer works to define myself in relation to that chapter of my life. It no longer works to define myself by the post-surgical pain, the chemo pain, or the pain of mourning. My husband and I each did our best in the number of years we had together. It’s time to bless and release those years. Now it’s time for me to take care of myself and do and be what I am called to do and be.

For me, as a person of faith, I saw God was clearing the decks for me to move into my New Life. It hasn’t been easy. But there was one direction in which to move: forward.

I am so grateful for the staffs of the facilities that treated my husband, and the Mayo Clinic, which has been treating me. I am grateful for the friends who took me to frequent appointments and to pick up my husband’s ashes. I am grateful for all those who helped me celebrate Hunky Husband’s life, on his 88th birthday, in September. I am grateful to my writer friends in the Ultimate Blog Challenge, who gave my life rhythm during the August, November, January, April, and (now) July blog challenges. Writing has been great therapy! So great for keeping the mind and heart fresh! And the friendships have bolstered me more than you may all know. I am so grateful for everyone who helped me, prayed for me, sent kind notes, included me in events, and rushed to hug me.

I am especially grateful for my husband’s son, who teamed with me to oversee my husband’s care in his last few weeks. Also for my Hospice counselor friend who gives me regular grief counseling, keeping my perspective ticking.

After my Ridiculous Year, I am a deeper person. I laugh if someone tries to be rude– I just don’t care. Such things are not “of me”, and they do not matter. I am more calmly caring, my rough edges worn away by pain and trials. Every good thing seems so sweet. I greet my house when I come home: hello, sweet house! I savor the friendships that have become more deep and textured in the last year.

I am grateful for the love of friends, some of whom sent cards, and some whom texted their love and support and prayers daily. I am grateful for my home prayer team, the Order of Saint Luke (OSL), whose love and compassion and prayers kept me going when I could hardly walk, and since. I am grateful for relatives understanding I needed tons of extra rest and quiet, not gatherings and calls. I am grateful to the Masonic and Shrine families, who declared their undying love and support for me, together with permanent invitations to all events.

I am grateful for the beautiful skies, sunny days and rainy ones. I treasure the miraculous sky photos I am able to capture. I give thanks for many goofy little things, like a perfectly ripe avocado, California rolls, and a new Mickey Mouse mug brought by friends from Disney Orlando. I am grateful for my conversations with blogger friends, their articles taking me where I would not have thought to go during these months of shock and juggling widowy paperwork. I am grateful that my healing clients are coming back; I love serving them. I love this one-year milestone and all of my progress. It is a huge blessing to feel my vitality and enthusiasm coming back. I have taken my wedding rings off, for embarking on this new time in my life. My Ridiculous Year is giving way, with grace, to my New Beautiful Life.

I had set the goal of not carrying this story beyond one year. So this piece is the end of my telling this story. Now I focus on my health and re-setting my home, and enjoying my life and loved ones, my work and my clients. And that is me, shaping the new life I want, ever more Healthy Happy and Loving Life^sm!

Books by Kebba Buckley Button

Healthy Happy Loving Life: Milestones Since My Life Turned On A Dime

31 Monday Jan 2022

Posted by Kebba Buckley Button in beating cancer, Dealing with stress, loss of a spouse, stress, Stress Management, the life you want

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beating cancer, Grief, Grieving, Kebba Buckley Button, loss of a spouse, The life you want, UpBeat Living

Ron and Kebba Button. Image by Judy Mangino.

Life often has interesting twists and turns. The Chinese have a curse, “May you live in interesting times.” And my life has been a bit too interesting over the last few months. If you like, skip past the bullet points, to see what all I am grateful for at the half-year mark.

A half year ago, my life turned on a dime and then turned again, over a few weeks’ time–and nothing to do with COVID.

June 17. I showed a weird leg spot to my dermatologist, who reacted strongly and took a biopsy.
June 18. The dermatologist called me and my husband to meet with him at his office. I was diagnosed with a rare and malignant form of melanoma.
June 23. My husband and I met my new surgeon at Mayo Clinic, north Phoenix. I started some pre-surgical scans and tests.
June 26. My husband was vomiting blood and was taken to a nearby hospital by ambulance. He never came home again.
June 30. I started operating 2 hospital portals, to handle my own care and my husband’s.
July 2. A dear friend took me for final tests and scans at Mayo Clinic Scottsdale, then surgery at Mayo Clinic Phoenix. I now had a 3″ incision for removal of a lymph node and a 7″ incision on my thigh, to remove the cancer and its margins. All the tissue was declared cancer-free, but I needed to begin 12 months of chemo to be sure.
July 10. My husband’s son– a fine man– arrived from California. I was unable to visit my husband in person very much, but Glenn stayed in his room for hours each day. My husband and I used Facetime a lot, and it was wonderful!
July 27. My husband, no longer responsive, was taken to Ryan House of Hospice of the Valley–clearly an outpost of Heaven.
July 28. I had my first chemotherapy.
August 1. My husband passed at Ryan House. No more pain!
August 1. The Ultimate Blog Challenge began for the month. Already registered, I decided to blast in and write daily articles as a form of therapy. No one in the UBC knew what had been happening in my life lately. I wrote for half a month before telling anyone. It was wonderful to read my friends’ articles and trade comments with them. Also, I made a few new blogger friends that month. I also completed the November UBC and the January 2022 UBC. So great for keeping the mind and heart fresh!

I have many points of gratitude. My husband had been so ill that I was relieved for him when he passed. Of course, I have missed him horribly, but with much love and support, this is getting easier weekly. I am grateful for the staffs of the facilities that treated us both, with competency, tact, and compassion. I am grateful for the dear friends who took me to frequent appointments and to my husband’s hospital to visit him. I am grateful for my husband’s son, who teamed with me to oversee my husband’s care in his last few weeks. I am grateful for my Hospice counselor friend who gives me regular grief counseling. I am grateful for the love of friends, some of whom sent cards, and some whom texted their love and support and prayers daily. I am grateful for my own prayer team, the Order of Saint Luke (OSL), whose love and compassion and prayers kept me going when I could hardly walk, and since. I am grateful for relatives understanding I needed tons of extra rest and quiet, not gatherings and calls. I am grateful to the Masonic and Shrine families, who declared their undying love and support for me, together with permanent invitations to all events; I am grateful to those who popped up at events, joyful to see me, and rushed over to give me huge hugs.

I am grateful for the beautiful skies, sunny days and rainy ones. I give thanks for many goofy little things, like a ripe pear and a cane with 4 feet and a fold-down seat. I am grateful for my recovery and emotional growth during this half-year. I am grateful that I can now drive with comfort and lift a big bag of groceries–but not at the same time. I am grateful for my conversations with blogger friends, their articles taking me where I would not have thought to go during these weeks of shock and juggling widowy paperwork. I am grateful to the friends who come to get goods and books for donations and boxes full of files to be shredded. I am grateful that my healing clients are coming back; I love serving them. I love this 6-month milestone and all of my progress. It is a huge blessing to feel my vitality and enthusiasm coming back.

I had set the goal of not carrying this story beyond the first 6 months. So this piece is the end of my telling this story. Now I focus on my health and re-setting my home, and enjoying my life and loved ones. And that is me, shaping the new life I want, ever more Healthy Happy and Loving Life^sm!

Books by Kebba Buckley Button

Healthy Happy Loving Life: We Can’t Look Backward and Forward At Once

07 Friday Jan 2022

Posted by Kebba Buckley Button in Effective Living, joy, Kebba Buckley Button, the life you want, we can't look backward and forward at the same time

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effective living strategies, Grief, Healthy Happy Loving Life, Kebba Buckley Button, The life you want, we can't look backward and forward at the same time

Kebba and Ron 2020

I have been wending my way along the path of widowhood for 5 months now. It seems new every day. Fortunately, I am well aware that every widow’s path is different. We must each make our own path and find our own way–as with life in general. I am blessed to have amazing friends, neighbors, co-Board members, church friends, Shrine friends, and all the couples Ron was friends with, going back many years.

My husband, Ron Button, was a very brilliant and full-hearted person. I met him over 30 years ago, at a party I didn’t want to go to. I love to stay home and be quiet. But, prevaricating about going to the party, I was suddenly moved to look up and ask, “What do You think?” I instantly heard these words: “You will go. You will get dressed, you will look cute, you will meet interesting people.” Oh my! I was very shocked to hear words from Heaven. I had had inspirations from Above many times, but a specific verbal opinion–never! So I quickly got dressed and went to the party. And there, across the barbecue area, was a gorgeous man I had never seen before. I found out his name was Ron.

Eighteen years later, Ron asked me out, and within 3 weeks, we knew we were meant for each other. We knew God was our matchmaker. We made the most of the next 15 years. Unfortunately, Ron’s health failed over the last 2 years, and he passed in hospice August 1st. I miss him.

Now you may think I feel sorry for myself, or that I should. I am definitely feeling grief, in pulses. I feel painful compassion for Ron’s uncomfortable illness and unclarity. But that pain was in the Past. I have to steer myself around to look at the Now, rather than the Past. We cannot look at the Past and at the Future at the same time. I have to be grateful–starts with the same letter as “God”– that Ron is released now. He is no longer in pain. He will never have more doctor visits or procedures. He is free! When Ron was here, we used to make up children’s songs and bounce around in a circle, when we had a thing to celebrate: “weeeee sold the houuuuuuse!” Within hours of his passing, Ron’s voice came to me in the living room: “Wheeeee! I’m freeeee! I’m freeeee!” Joy!

For Ron, I am so glad he is released. For me, I don’t want to skip any part of my grief process and end up with impacted emotions and health issues down the road. But I get to keep turning back to the path ahead. I do my best to keep my focus on the Present, with an eye to what God and I are co-creating for the Future. That’s where my life is now.

Keep in mind that it is impossible to look back and look forward at exactly the same moment, and you’ll spend more time celebrating the Present with an eye to the Future you want. And that’s you, increasingly more Healthy Happy and Loving Life^sm!

Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert, holistic healer, and award-winning author who celebrates life. She has a longtime natural healing practice and is an ordained minister. Among her books are: Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), Inspirations for Peace Within: Quotes and Images to Uplift and Inspire, and Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine. The books are available on Amazon and through Kebba’s office. To email us, kebba@kebba.com .

Books by Kebba Buckley Button

Healthy Happy Loving Life: Remembering Mom

04 Tuesday Jan 2022

Posted by Kebba Buckley Button in Effective Living, Grief, Grieving, Healthy Happy Loving Life, joy, Kebba Buckley Button, Mom, stress, the life you want, zm

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Grief, Grieving, Healthy Happy Loving Life, Kebba Buckley Button, Mom

–Alas, this post got mucked up and I had to redraft and republish it. Hope you see the “good version”! —

About 1941, Mom perched on a lab table. Photographer unknown.

Five years ago today, I got a call from Denver, from my oldest sister, with heartbreaking news. My beloved Mom had passed away at age 91. To this day, I am still grieving and still getting to know her through floods of memories. Mom had been dealing with heart issues but feeling better with a pacemaker. Finally, she was in the hospital for evaluation when her heart simply gave up. Still, 91 years is a good long run. Here is a little about Mom.

Betty Cary “Becky” Hill Buckley was born in Maitland, Florida, in 1925, to a major Florida citrus grower and his accountant wife. She was their only child. I knew her best for her intelligence, faith and determination, all of which I was blessed to inherit. She was a Southern lady who never swore, a habit I also inherited. She behaved with as much grace as she could, until the hour she passed. Often having a sly sense of humor, before she closed her eyes for her final nap, she joked to granddaughter Kayleigh, “now don’t you be taking my Prius, because I’m going to need it to drive home from the hospital.” (In truth, Kayleigh drove the Prius until it died.)

In college, Mom majored in physical chemistry. That may be why someone took the photo, above, of her working on a project while sitting on a lab table. Normal people in those days would have sat at one of the chairs, but Mom had her project spread out, and it was evidently easier to reach her project pieces by sitting in the middle of it. She said in later years, she could remember saying, “oh, I’m passionately interested in physical chemistry!” In the 1940’s she finished her degree at Rollins College and went to work for the government in a classified lab that was making The Bomb. [The Bomb that was dropped on Hiroshima to end World War II.] There, as a chemistry technician, she met my father, the chemical engineer, and some months later, they married and moved to Texas, for his new job on the coast.

Mom at a golden rain tree. Photo by Page S. Buckley .

After raising kids, Mom’s greatest joy and recreation was gardening, and I learned so much from her. I even grew the confidence to develop the Feng Shui Garden^sm in my back yard. The more beautiful my garden is, the more it is a tribute to Mom. Mom was married to Dad for almost 50 years, until he passed of complications of cancer. When he passed, she never went for counseling, and she would hardly discuss it. Instead, she went to the garden and continued beautifying her cottage-like home. Mom and Dad had 4 daughters, with myself and two others surviving. Our love for Mom is still intense. At first, the floods of memories were difficult for me. But now I treasure them, and I treasure what I learn from them. And if you lose a loved one, I hope you also have floods of memories. You never have to put away your memories or your love for someone. Remembering the rich texture of the love in the Past, you will increasingly find yourself appreciating the Present, being more Healthy Happy and Loving Life!^sm And hug your loved ones while you can!

Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert, holistic healer, and award-winning author who celebrates life. She has university degrees, a longtime natural healing practice and is an ordained minister. Among her books are: Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), Inspirations for Peace Within: Quotes and Images to Uplift and Inspire, and Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine. The books are available on Amazon and through Kebba’s office. To email us, kebba@kebba.com .

Books by Kebba Buckley Button

Healthy Happy Loving Life: 7 Top Tips to Break Grief Brainlock

03 Wednesday Nov 2021

Posted by Kebba Buckley Button in Grieving, Kebba Buckley Button, stress, Superpowers of Crying

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crying, effective living strategies, Friendship, Grief, Grieving, Kebba Buckley Button, stress, Superpowers of Crying, tears

Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

Sometimes, when you’re grieving, your brain just locks up. Brainlock makes you feel stoopid, because you can’t navigate a simple website to get the mortgage payment in, and maybe you don’t even care. Sometimes you can’t answer the phone and make sense. But you’re an adult, and you have Stuff to take care of. Today, I had bad Brainlock! For about 5 hours, I could do nothing but sit in my favorite chair and drink tea. And think. It is now 3 months since my husband passed away, after several years of illness. But yesterday was our anniversary, and that really hit me hard. A relative texted: “we would really rather be wishing the two of you a Happy Anniversary!” Yes! While I wouldn’t call my husband back from the Beyond, to continue living with his painful illness, I am very wistful, remembering the good times we shared. And this morning, my brain simply refused to do anything but deal with my sadness. This is only one of many Brainlock episodes I’ve had since his passing. So the following tips are from me as the holistic therapist and also from me as the widow going through it in current weeks. These work!

Here are my top tips to deal with Grief Brainlock.

If you must get in gear, drink some delicious coffee, or another beverage with lots of antioxidants. Black tea, green tea, something with high grade chocolate or cocoa, or freshly juiced green drinks– all will help nourish your brain so you can get going quickly. Eating high grade chocolate or a bowl full of blueberries will also help. Organic is better.
If you must get in gear really quickly, go against my usual advice and eat something sweet. This will lift your blood sugar quickly, so your brain can compute enough for you to function. This is not permission to start a high-sugar diet!
If you have time, take a lovely hot shower and wash your hair thoroughly. This will wash off the surface energy of your grief, while relaxing your muscles.
If you have even more time, try a therapeutic soak: at least 20 minutes at the “ahhhh” temperature, in low light, with at least 2 pounds of Epsom Salts. The magnesium ions in the Epsom Salts will exchange through your skin, and the toxins will leave. You will literally feel better with fewer grief toxins in your body, and the magnesium will strengthen your muscles.
Let yourself cry whenever the wave comes on. Sob, if you want to. I am a silent cryer and a silent sobber, so I just put my head in my hands and lean forward, and let it roll through me. The relatives walking through the room know exactly what’s going on, and sometimes they gently place a hand on my back while I sob. Certainly, God “has your back”, and sometimes you may actually feel God’s hand there. Crying releases certain chemical compounds that literally make you feel better.
Look for my article on the Top 6 Superpowers of Crying, from National Grief Awareness Day, August 30th. Take it to heart.
If you have the morning off, or the day without appointments, try just honoring the Brainlock. Sit in your chair, phone off, tea at hand. Be stoopid. Let it run its course for 5 hours, as I did today. Let stoopidness run through your system: it’s your bodymind system’s way of putting the brakes on. You’ve been dealing with so much! You need a break from pushing yourself during this demanding time.
© Kebba Buckley Button

Notice how much softer and lighter you feel after trying one or more of these. And please let me know how you’re doing. Take care of you as best you can, remember the good times, and celebrate the love that always surrounds you. And God bless you in your process. Now that’s you: more and more Healthy Happy Loving Life^sm!

Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert, holistic healer, and award-winning author who celebrates life. She has a longtime natural healing practice and is an ordained minister. Among her books are: Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), Inspirations for Peace Within: Quotes and Images to Uplift and Inspire, and Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine. The books are available on Amazon and through Kebba’s office. To email us, kebba@kebba.com .

Books by Kebba Buckley Button

Healthy Happy Loving Life: Grief and the Top 6 Superpowers of Crying

30 Monday Aug 2021

Posted by Kebba Buckley Button in Grieving, Kebba Buckley Button, stress, Superpowers of Crying

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crying, effective living strategies, Friendship, Grief, Grieving, Kebba Buckley Button, stress, Superpowers of Crying, tears

Image by Tom Pumford on Unsplash

Today is National Grief Awareness Day, as it is every August 30^th. A lot of people are grieving and crying for different reasons. And everyone’s grieving process is different. Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross famously proclaimed that grief moves in 5 stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance (DABDA, as some say). When my mother died, I didn’t have any of those stages. Rather, I had thousands of mental videos of scenes with Mom, together with processing the complex emotions of those memories. When my husband passed, I sobbed often. I am still not going through Kubler-Ross’s 5 stages, but I know more now about crying and tears than ever before.

So today, in honor of National Grief Awareness Day, I’m offering the Top 6 Superpowers of Crying. I hope these set you free to cry when you feel like you want to. Crying doesn’t just relieve pent-up feelings and increase mascara sales. Crying actually has superpowers, to act on your health. These top 6 are extracted from an article by Ashley Marcin (https://www.healthline.com/health/benefits-of-crying) .

Crying detoxifies the body

There are three different types of tears:

reflex tears
continuous tears
emotional tears

Reflex tears clear debris, like smoke and dust, from your eyes. Continuous tears lubricate your eyes and help protect them from infection. Emotional tears may have many health benefits. Whereas continuous tears contain 98 percent water, emotional tears contain stress hormones and other toxins. Researchers have theorized that crying flushes these things out of your system, though more research is needed in this area.

Crying helps self-soothe

Crying may be one of your best mechanisms to self-soothe. Researchers have found that crying activates the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS). The PNS helps your body rest and digest. The benefits aren’t immediate, however. It may take several minutes of shedding tears before you feel the soothing effects of crying.

Crying dulls pain

Crying for long periods of time releases oxytocin and endorphins. These feel-good chemicals can help ease both physical and emotional pain. Once the endorphins are released, your body may go into somewhat of a numb stage. Oxytocin can give you a sense of calm or well-being.

Crying improves mood

Along with helping you ease pain, crying, specifically sobbing, may even lift your spirits. When you sob, you take in many quick breaths of cool air. Breathing in cooler air can help regulate and even lower the temperature of your brain. A cool brain is more pleasurable to your body and mind than a warm brain. As a result, your mood may improve after a sobbing episode.

5. Crying helps you recover from grief

Grieving is a process. It involves periods of sorrow, numbness, guilt, and anger. Crying is particularly important during periods of grieving. It may even help you process and accept the loss of a loved one. Everyone goes through the grieving process in different ways. Check with your doctor if you think you’re really crying too much.

6.Crying restores emotional balance

Crying doesn’t only happen in response to something sad. Sometimes you may cry when you are extremely happy, scared, or stressed. Researchers at Yale University believe crying in this way may help to restore emotional equilibrium. When you’re incredibly happy or scared about something and cry, it may be your body’s way to recover from experiencing such a strong emotion.

I wish you all the best in any grief journey you may be travelling. “Happy” National Grief Awareness Day. Take care of yourself, cry as much as you like, and journal and journey as long as you need to. Vent, remember the good times, and enjoy the love that still surrounds you. And that’s you: more and more Healthy Happy Loving Life^sm!

Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert, holistic healer, and award-winning author who celebrates life. She has a longtime natural healing practice and is an ordained minister. Among her books are: Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), Inspirations for Peace Within: Quotes and Images to Uplift and Inspire, and Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine. The books are available on Amazon and through Kebba’s office. To email us, kebba@kebba.com .

Books by Kebba Buckley Button

Healthy Happy Loving Life: Sugar as an Energy Food– Not!

07 Monday Dec 2020

Posted by Kebba Buckley Button in dopamine, Effective Living, Happy Healthy Loving Life, Kebba Buckley Button, stress, sugar, sugar is an energy food, the life you want, yang food, yin food

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choices, dopamine, Grief, Kebba Buckley Button, sugar is an energy food, The life you want, yang food, yin food

In recent decades, we have heard repeatedly that sugar is an energy food. Doesn’t that sound wonderful? And sugary foods and beverages certainly taste good. So we might easily assume that sweet foods and beverages are body-friendly. But now is a good time to challenge that perception. On balance, sugars may not be your great friend. Today, I speak from my holistic healing practice.

When we eat sugars, the mesolimbic dopamine system in the brain clicks on. The brain’s neurons start releasing dopamine, which makes us feel happy. And this makes us want more of that stuff that causes dopamine production: sugars. Ever notice that when you start eating ice cream from the container, you keep wanting more? That’s the brain calling for more of that dopamine-production fuel. You are meeting your body’s biochemistry straight on! This is the effect that possibly makes people think sugar gives them energy. They feel perked up. Plus, if their insulin is working well, they will get more blood glucose flowing into their muscles, temporarily.

However, most people get a crash after that blood sugar high, and the blood sugar level then drops steadily until the next meal or snack. Then the post-sugar person is weak, tired, bleary-eyed, cranky, and fog-brained. There will be less of a crash if you have some protein with your sugary snack: a bit of chicken, tuna, garbanzo beans, nuts, cheese, or eggs. And sweet foods with fiber, i.e., fruits, will process more slowly and give you less of a crash.

So back to why sugar actually makes us tired and weak:

You burn through your available insulin, as above.
Sugars are, by definition, yin foods, in Chinese medicine. You must eat yang foods to balance yin foods, or you will be tired and weak. More on yin– and yang foods in an upcoming article.
You’re not getting nutrition to support your many thousands of metabolic processes, when you eat white sugar. It’s refined, and that removes the nutrition, other than the sugar itself. So on a high-sugar diet, you are malnourished, which is a weakened state.

So let’s challenge that perception that sugar is energy food! Have a little for fun and pleasure, and then eat your veggies, proteins, and limited fruit. (More on healthy eating in an upcoming column.) Try for the least sugar in your diet, and you will find yourself increasingly Healthy, Happy, and Loving Life^sm!

———————————————

Kebba Buckley Button is a stress solutions expert and award-winning author who celebrates life. She also has a longtime natural healing practice and is an ordained minister. Among her books are: Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), Inspirations for Peace Within: Quotes and Images to Uplift and Inspire, and Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine. The books are available on Amazon and through Kebba’s office. To email us, kebba@kebba.com .

Books by Kebba Buckley Button

Healthy Happy Loving Life: Floods of Emotions After a Mother’s Passing

06 Sunday Dec 2020

Posted by Kebba Buckley Button in Effective Living, Grief, Happy Healthy Loving Life, Kebba Buckley Button, memories, Mother loss, stress, the life you want

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choices, floods of emotions, Grief, Healthy Happy Loving Life, Kebba Buckley Button, memories, Mother loss, The life you want

Kebba’s Mom, Becky Hill Buckley. Photographer unknown.

The most emotional journey of my life has been around losing my mother several years ago. My mother slipped away, in a Denver hospital room, in January 2017. She was surrounded by people who loved her. She was 91. Her heart simply gave out. Above is a photo (cleaned up as best I could), pulled from a group event photo. It gave us something relatively contemporary to use for her memorial service folder.

Losing Mom was a heart-ripping watershed for me. Not in just the usual way that we miss people when they are gone. Rather, for me, it meant the end of seeking the closeness I had always wanted with her–affection, trust, easy conversations, sharing laughs, enjoying each other’s company. Now no more trying. No more reaching out, seeking the essential Becky, getting to know the deeper heart of Mom. No more learning better what made her tick. No more asking her opinions of things.

My older sister, in charge of the estate and house, seemed to have everything in hand. But she finally asked me to come to Denver, to help clear the garage. I went for 3 weeks, alternating with coming home to see clients and be with my husband: there a week, home a week, there a week, home a week, and there a week. It was April, and the weather was very pleasant. We worked very hard!

The neatness of the garage belied the incredible concentration of the contents: tens of thousands of documents and photos in carefully taped boxes. We discovered many photos from decades when people didn’t just photo-document everything. I had only previously seen one distant photo of Mom from her teen years, with a horse, as a riding instructor. But, below is an image we found of her when she was 16. (Remind you of anyone?) Perhaps going through all those thousands of documents and photos helped me to tie up emotional loose ends. It also flooded and overloaded my heart and mind. Sometimes I just sat in the emptying Eudora house and cried. It was too much.

In one of the boxes, there were what appeared to be the items you would find on top of her desk. She and Dad had moved to Denver about 40 years ago and had a bungalow on Zephyr Street. Of course, it was beautifully landscaped and maintained by Mom. After Dad passed and my older sister went through a divorce, Mom and my sister decided to share a home on Eudora St. I believe the “desktop box” was created during the move from Zephyr to Eudora; someone just swept the desktop gear into a box. In it was a tiny ziplock bag containing a plain wedding ring. I believe it was Mom’s, removed for a medical procedure. I wear it often now. More floods of memories and much comfort.

Below, you can see an iconic photo of Mom in her young married years (1954?), in hat and gloves, showing us how lovely the Golden Rain tree is. Extremely knowledgeable about plants, she was a Master Gardener from a family of avid gardeners. All four of her daughters also became gardeners; I made my entire back yard into a Feng Shui Garden.

When she was young, Mom had a joyful, sometimes impish side. Below is an image of her sitting on what we think was a lab table, in college days. She was a chemistry major, so you’ll be unsurprised to see the textbooks around her on her worktable. My parents would later meet at Oak Ridge National Labs in Tennessee, working for the government, in secret, building the bomb later dropped on Japan, to end World War II.

Almost four years later, I still long to talk with Mom and ask her how she felt about this or that. I am grateful to have known Mom, and to have had her love and nurturing in my younger years. I do my best to live my own life fully, take care of my husband, and give thanks for every Go(o)d thing. I do my best to help the younger relatives stay connected and encouraged. There is much love circulating, and I circulate it as much as possible. I am living the life I want. I believe Mom would be proud of me and my life. I am truly Healthy, Happy, and Loving Life^sm!

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Books by Kebba Buckley Button

Healthy Happy Loving Life: Revealing Your True Nature in the Worst Times

02 Wednesday Dec 2020

Posted by Kebba Buckley Button in Amish, Amish Grace, Dealing with stress, Forgiveness, Grief, Grudges, Inner peace, Kebba Buckley Button, Radical forgiveness, Resentment, Revealing your true nature, stress, Upset

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Amish Grace, Anger, choices, Forgiveness, Grief, Grudges, Healthy Happy Loving Life, Resentment, responsible, Revealing your true nature, stress, stuck, unstuck

On October 2, 2006, a pickup truck backed up to the front door of an Amish school. It was the West Nickel Mines School in Pennsylvania. A man who was angry at God went into the school, shot 10 girls and then himself. Five of the girls died. This small Amish community could have been devastated and could have shouted about discrimination, invasion, and revenge. They could have been consumed by resentment and hatred. They could have written books about their pain and sold the movie rights. They could have sued their way around the court system. They did no such thing.

Instead, they revealed their true nature: forgiveness. They forgave Charles Roberts, the gunman, who had been their milk delivery man. One of Roberts’ children had died the day she was born, and he could not forgive God for that loss. Amish leaders went to Roberts’ widow’s home, told her they had forgiven Roberts, and offered comfort for her and her children. Later, they took the widow toys for her children. Citing their faith, the Amish gave up any burden of hatred or resentment, embodied compassion, acted out their forgiveness, and fulfilled reconciliation. They went to Roberts’ funeral and stood with his bereaved family. They leveled the school and built a new one on a different site, calling it “The New Hope School”.

Roberts’ widow came to the dedication celebration, only 6 months after the shootings. The community had revealed its true character, values, and nature. It had declared a healing. A movie version of the story, Amish Grace, ran on the Lifetime Network, and Lifetime reported it was the most watched movie ever broadcast by their network. Clearly, people are interested in forgiveness, unburdening of grudges, and the grace of reconciliation.

The Amish story raises afresh the question of what forgiveness is. A great definition is “giving up resentment or any claim for recompense for the wrong that has occurred.” This doesn’t mean one has to forget the wrong ever happened. In the Christian faith, Jesus taught that no limit should be set on the extent of forgiveness (Luke 17:4). Also, an unforgiving spirit is regarded as a sin (Matt 18:34-35 and Luke 15:28-30). In teaching The Lord’s Prayer (Matt 6:9-13, Luke 11:2-4), Jesus instructed the Disciples to pray, “…and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” So one will be forgiven by God only to the extent one is forgiving to those who have wronged oneself.

Normal forgiveness commonly takes years, and research suggests it takes a toll on your mind and cardiovascular system. The field of psychology is not yet in total agreement on the exact definition of “forgiveness”. But many are promoting the practice for individual, community, and world benefits. If we can forgive personally and locally, can we forgive globally as well?

What do the worst times reveal about your nature? Are you holding any grudges? Would you like to feel better? Think of Amish Grace. Try forgiving someone today, and notice how well you sleep tonight. Now you’re in the realm of Healthy, Happy, and Loving Life^sm!

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Books by Kebba Buckley Button

Healthy Happy Loving Life!

~ Your source for energized, fulfilled, joyous living!

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Healthy Happy Loving Life: Revealing Your True Nature in the Worst Times

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