Healthy Happy Loving Life: Handling Contempt

12 Tuesday Jul 2022

Posted by Kebba Buckley Button in changing your channel, contempt, Relationships, stress

Tags

changing your channel, contempt, friendships, Healthy Happy Loving Life, Journaling, Relationships, social satisfaction

Image by megapixl

Over coffee, a friend related a remarkable recent interaction she had with someone’s contempt. She was at an event, chatting with a friendly acquaintance she had known and admired for many years. Suddenly, she realized the friend was speaking to her with clipped disdain and narrowed, “steely” eyes. He clearly disliked her and held her in contempt! He expressed complete disrespect for her professional worth and work. My friend has long admired this man and his work, and she has often chimed in when his name came up in conversation, when people spoke of how valuable his work was. She has referred clients to him. She liked him, until this moment of sudden realization. She had no idea what was going on– clearly something behind the scenes. She was shocked to realize the intensity of his disdain for her, and his willingness to express it in public! While she knew she had never done anything to the colleague or made negative remarks about him, he had formulated very negative views and feelings about her. She was tempted to feel terrible. Wisely, she left the room for awhile, then chatted with others until the end of the event.

Image by megapixl

I congratulated my friend on leaving the room, shifting the energy, and thereby changing her channel. If the man hates her, she doesn’t owe it to him to take in more of his hatred. I asked her if she had done a few complete breaths, exhaling first. She said yes, that was her second strategy, and it felt good! Later, either journaling or hitting the treadmill would also help discharge her emotions about the negative encounter.

So what about the best ongoing strategies? If people have been making up negative stories to tell this man, and that is why he has been so negative to my friend, there is little she can do to counter those stories. Making up stories is a time-honored human habit. It is so common it is even mentioned in the Bible. Rather than trying to dig into the cause of the negativity, it is much better for her to be her best self and let her accomplishments and true character shine. People adjust quickly to positive changes we make. Even those who held negative beliefs about us can forget those when they have new, positive experiences with us.

My friend plans to steer clear of the colleague as much as possible, stop referring clients to him, (certainly!) and keep the most positive thoughts and friends. She wisely believes she cannot control anyone else, their thoughts, or their comments. But she can control where she puts her attention and energy. And besides, there are about 7 BILLION other people on the Planet for future friendship and business. She doesn’t need this one person.

So in awkward situations, make your best call: is it worth any time or energy to even respond? Only you can control where you put your attention and energy. And that will be you, too, ever more Healthy Happy and Loving Life^sm!

Kebba Buckley Button is a stress/energy management expert, holistic healer, and award-winning author who celebrates life. She has a longtime natural healing practice and is an ordained minister. Among her books are: Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), Inspirations for Peace Within: Quotes and Images to Uplift and Inspire, and Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine. The books are available on Amazon and through Kebba’s office. They are also available in Scottsdale, Arizona, at the Franciscan Renewal Center bookstore and at the bookstore at St. Barnabas on the Desert Episcopal Church. Or simply email us to order: kebba@kebba.com . Thank you!

Books by Kebba Buckley Button

Healthy Happy Loving Life: Lessons of the Heart from My Octopus Teacher

Featured

Posted by Kebba Buckley Button in interspecies friendships, Love, My Octopus Teacher, Relationships, Unusual friendships

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

interspecies friendships, Love, My Octopus Teacher, Unusual friendships

I knew My Octopus Teacher would be a real yawn. I was astonished when a brilliant friend recommended the film. But I was curious when it won an Academy Award for Best Documentary Feature at the 2021 Academy Awards. So we dusted off our Netflix membership—since it is a Netflix production—and plunked down to watch it. I was not optimistic.

Happily, I was completely surprised! This 83-minute movie has a magnetic charm that draws you in and glues you to your seat! It follows a photographer/diver named Craig Foster for a year, as he is surprised to find himself befriending a wild common octopus. He visits her every day, in the kelp forests of South Africa’s waters. They become unlikely companions, like a Pinterest gallery of chickens hugging cats, dogs nurturing orphan kittens, and an elephant with his dog friend.

Lesson 1 of My Octopus Teacher: You can be friends with funny looking creatures of some other size and species. The Octopus friend is about the size of the diver’s hand, outspread. To her, the diver must have looked huge and bizarre. But she was able to sit on his hand and gently feel his forearm with her curling tentacles. At one point, she crawled up to his chest and apparently hugged him.

Lesson 2 of My Octopus Teacher: Live within the Force of the ocean. There is an effect the diver tried to explain: that the kelp forest is very complex and always moving. You never know what creature will come around the corner of a stand of giant kelp, and how you will need to react. Just go with it.

Lesson 3 of My Octopus Teacher: Sometimes a being knows when its time is up. We need to be grateful for our fond memories. The Octopus in this film signaled the diver that she would be going. She gave birth to many tiny octopi, then was too weak to zoom away from a predator.

Line up your kids and watch this movie. You will be witness to the extraordinary. You will be blessed by the gentle and caring relationship between the diver and the Octopus. You will be in awe of what you see in the life of the South African kelp forest. Feel your heart warm and your energy soften. You will be even more Healthy Happy and Loving Life^sm.

Kebba Buckley Button, MS, OM, is a stress solutions expert, holistic guide, and award-winning author who celebrates life. She has a longtime energy healing practice and is an ordained minister. Among her books are: Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), Inspirations for Peace Within: Quotes and Images to Uplift and Inspire, and Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine. The books are available on Amazon and through Kebba’s office. To email us, kebba@kebba.com .

Books by Kebba Buckley Button

Healthy Happy Loving Life: Polar Vortex Again!

17 Wednesday Feb 2021

Posted by Kebba Buckley Button in Effective Living, Feeling energized, frozen flowers, polar vortex, Relationships, stress, uncertainty

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

adjusting to change, energy, Feeling energized, frozen flowers, fulfilled, Healthy Happy Loving Life, Kebba, living beyond, making changes, moving on, uncertainty

The descent of the Polar Vortex across much of our nation this week has reminded me of an adventure we had 7 years ago. In 2014, my husband and I wanted to visit the relatives in Denver. So we found a week that would work and booked inexpensive tickets that could not be changed. As the dates drew closer, it became clear that Denver would be having snow. Exactly the same days we would be there.

Then it became clear we were flying into the Polar Vortex— science fiction for Phoenix people. My secondary goal of taking Fall photos became the goal of taking icy winter photos. It was 4 degrees for a high, with dark, cloudy skies most of each day. As we debarked at Denver International Airport, it was the first time I had ever seen gate agents *inside* wearing winter scarves and gloves.

We were challenged, not only to stay comfortable, but to keep seeing well, as our glasses kept fogging, freezing, and thawing, then fogging again. Fortunately, we did have warm enough clothing and footwear.

Above is the view from our hotel dining room. Notice the ice coating on the inside of the window? This is looking east across Colorado Boulevard.

All around Denver, gardens were flash-frozen by the sudden snowstorms. Above are some of the ice-clad daffodils from my late mother’s garden– a rare photo opportunity for me. My sister Annie kindly drove us all around town, in messy, icy wintery traffic, so I could get a lot of snowy photos. I learned to keep the camera (iPhone) inside my top, so it wouldn’t crack from the cold. And yes! That was a cold thing to put back inside my top!

Another blessing of the trip was the chance to get this family photo (below) during dinner one night. Yes, there was a fireplace nearby–very cozy! From the left, that’s me, older sister Annie, Mom, and my husband, Ron Button.

When we embrace situations that could be discomforts, we end up with adventures! We all made the best of the 2014 Polar Vortex and now have great memories for a lifetime. And embracing life takes us further into the realm of Healthy, Happy, and Loving Life^sm? It’s up to you!

Kebba Buckley Button is a stress solutions expert, holistic guide, and award-winning author who celebrates life. She has a longtime energy healing practice and is an ordained minister. Among her books are: Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), Inspirations for Peace Within: Quotes and Images to Uplift and Inspire, and Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine. The books are available on Amazon and through Kebba’s office. To email us, kebba@kebba.com .

Books by Kebba Buckley Button

Healthy Happy Loving Life: An Interesting Life

16 Tuesday Feb 2021

Posted by Kebba Buckley Button in Effective Living, Feeling energized, Forgiveness, Grudges, living beyond, Moving on, not boring, Relationships, Resentment, stress, uncertainty

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

adjusting to change, energy, Feeling energized, fulfilled, Healthy Happy Loving Life, Kebba, living beyond, making changes, moving on, not boring, uncertainty

This neon sign was in a favorite Denver restaurant. One day, a sudden blizzard blew across the city, dropping the temperature 80 degrees and blanketing the city with snow. The main dining room was a bit chilly. I looked up, saw this sign, and realized: my life has never been boring! And it will probably never be boring! And I embrace my life.

How about you?

The more we are in step with the uncertainty of life, the more we find we’re Healthy, Happy, and Loving Life^sm? It’s up to you!

Books by Kebba Buckley Button

Healthy Happy Loving Life: The Pinball Machine of Life

15 Monday Feb 2021

Posted by Kebba Buckley Button in Adjusting to change, Dealing with stress, Effective Living, Forgiveness, Grudges, living beyond, Moving on, Nasty people, Relationships, Resentment, stress, Upset

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

adjusting to change, energy, Feeling energized, fulfilled, Garth Brooks, grateful, healing, Kebba, living beyond, making changes, moving on, Relationships, stress tips

Photo by http://www.livelifehappy.com

Today, I offer my Pinball Machine Theory of Life. Think of the top 3 disappointing events you’ve had in life. A relationship suddenly over. The job you KNEW was yours, and someone else got it. The friend who suddenly cut you off. Remember how much that hurt?

Sometimes, it’s like you are the ball on a pinball game board. After the token goes into the machine, and the spring launcher is pulled and released, the ball zips up the slope of the game board. Sometimes, like the pinball, you are racing up the board of life thinking you are definitely headed in a certain direction. Then– wham!– you get hit with a flipper. For a moment, you don’t even know what your new direction is, right? You’re just reverberating with the impact of the flipper (ow!), feeling the pain, and trying to get your bearings again. Then you begin collecting yourself, look up, and see what unintended direction you are now headed in. Yikes! Not what the plan was! And how many time has this happened to you?

Grammy-Award winning musician Garth Brooks has a powerful song called, “Thank God for Unanswered Prayers.” In the song, he tells of being out with his wife and seeing the woman he dated in high school. In high school, he used to pray for that relationship every night. By the time he saw his old flame again, he realized he would not be in the amazing relationship he was in with his wife, had the relationship with his old flame worked out. So now he is massively grateful for the passing of that old relationship! He was redirected on the Pinball Machine of Life, and now he is deeply glad.

If you are a person of faith, remember this timeless truth [Romans 8:28]: We know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him…

When the flippers hit you, you are being directed for powerful purposes, by a Wisdom greater than our own. Do your best to deal with the hurt. Then embrace the new opportunities that are arriving. Be the happy and grateful pinball.

Now, doesn’t it feel great to be even more Healthy, Happy, and Loving Life^sm? It’s up to you!

Books by Kebba Buckley Button

Healthy Happy Loving Life: Choose Joy!

12 Monday Oct 2020

Posted by Kebba Buckley Button in Feeling energized, forgive, Go(o)d Thoughts, Health, In-joy-meant, joy, Letting go, Practice gratitude, Release the past, stress, the life you want

≈ 9 Comments

Tags

forgive, joy, Kebba Buckley Button, Practice gratitude, Release the past

Photo by Shutterstock

Today we’re talking about the number one thing you can do for yourself: choose joy! Joy not only feels wonderful– it causes our body chemistry to shift in ways that make us stronger and more well. Whatever your state of mind, situation, or health, this is a primary strategy for any good thing you want in your life. Wait– strategy? There’s a strategy? Yes!

And here is how you get there.

Forgive
Release the past
Practice gratitude
Repeat

Forgive: Much has been written about the power of forgiveness and how to forgive. Bernard Baruch said,

One of the secrets of a long and healthy life is to forgive everybody everything before you go to bed each night.

Resentment, anger, and hurt impact your body in specific and pervasive ways. The longer you hold these within, the more they turn into headaches, back pain, dis-ease, and deep health issues. I have a number of articles on forgiveness. You may want to start with this one: https://kebbabutton.wordpress.com/2016/08/10/upbeat-living-lighten-up-with-forgiveness/ And remember, this forgiveness is for you, not for them.

Release the past: Whatever you need to do to turn forward by releasing your past, do it for you! You don’t need to contact the friend/colleague/relative who wronged you. You don’t have to hold confrontations. You simply need to make a decision that your NOW and your FUTURE are more important than the mistakes you and others made in the past. And this decision itself will set you free. Tools like counseling and journaling will also help. Do it! A great affirmation, author unknown, is:

I bless and release all past failure, fear, and alienation.

This is a great one to post by your computer, in your kitchen, or anywhere else where you tend to stop and think about your unsatisfactory past. If you are a Christian, then you know you are forgiven, so it’s definitely always timely to bless and release all that stuff. Another way to look at your own “E & I”, or Errors and Immaturity, is that it wasn’t the present You who made those mistakes. You are not the immature person you were at 8, or 18, or any other previous age. Each day you are a fresh new you, and your NOW and your FUTURE beckon to be created.

Practice gratitude: This one is the simplest, yet most therapeutic, tools you have. Write lists of everything, big or tiny, that you are grateful for. Keep a gratitude journal or a cumulative list in NOTES on your iPhone. The more you notice that is good and excellent and worthy and enjoyable in your life, the more you will notice. So write these down. Marianne Williamson has said,

Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are.

Repeat: In a noisy world, it is easy to let these tools fade or rust. Keep this article handy somewhere. Review it, practice the 3 skills, and notice your joy building!

As you practice moving more into joy, you’ll find your heart getting lighter and your smiles becoming more frequent. Your relationships will shift. You’ll feel more healthy. There may be people and situations you will vibrate away from or who will vibrate away from you: you are simply too joyful for them.

And now you’re in the realm of Healthy Happy Loving Life^sm!

————————————————–

Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert and award-winning author who celebrates life. She also is an ordained minister and has a natural healing practice. Among her books are: Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), Inspirations for Peace Within: Quotes and Images to Uplift and Inspire, and Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine. The books are available on Amazon and through Kebba’s office. To email us, kebba@kebba.com .

Books by Kebba Buckley Button

Upbeat Living: What Puppy is for You?

23 Saturday Jul 2016

Posted by Kebba Buckley Button in Kebba Buckley Button, Love, Puppies, Relationships, stress, the life you want, UpBeat Living

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Kebba Buckley Button, Love, puppies, Relationships, stress, The life you want, UpBeat Living

When you think of puppies, what do you feel? Does your face break out in a huge, soft smile? Does your whole body relax with joy? When you pick up a puppy, how do you feel? Do you feel love? I personally believe that the greater purpose of dogs on this planet is to express unconditional love. Read the following story and see if you come to share my belief.

There is an iconic story, author unknown, of a farmer who had some puppies he wanted to sell. One version goes as follows:

The farmer painted a sign advertising the 4 pups and set about nailing it to a post on the edge of his yard. As he was driving the last nail into the post, he felt a tug on his overalls. He looked down into the eyes of a little boy. “Mister,” he said, “I want to buy one of your puppies.” “Well,” said the farmer, as he rubbed the sweat off the back of his neck, “these puppies come from fine parents and cost a good deal of money.”

The boy dropped his head for a moment. Then, reaching deep into his pocket, he pulled out a handful of change and held it up to the farmer. “I’ve got thirty-nine cents. Is that enough to take a look?”

“Sure,” said the farmer. And with that he let out a whistle. “Here, Dolly!” he called. Out from the doghouse and down the ramp ran Dolly, the mother dog, followed by four little balls of fur.

The little boy pressed his face against the chain link fence. His eyes danced with delight. As the dogs made their way to the fence, the little boy noticed something else stirring inside the doghouse. Slowly another little ball appeared, this one noticeably smaller. Down the ramp it slid. Then in a somewhat awkward manner, the little pup began hobbling toward the others, doing its best to catch up.

“I want that one,” the little boy said, pointing to the runt. The farmer knelt down at the boy’s side and said, “Son, you don’t want that puppy. He will never be able to run and play with you like these other dogs would.”

With that the little boy stepped back from the fence, reached down, and began rolling up one leg of his trousers. In doing so he revealed a steel brace running down both sides of his leg attaching itself to a specially made shoe. Looking back up at the farmer, he said, “You see sir, I don’t run too well myself, and he will need someone who understands.”

With tears in his eyes, the farmer reached down and picked up the little pup. Holding it carefully he handed it to the little boy. “How much?” asked the little boy. “No charge,” answered the farmer, “There’s no charge for love.”

This story speaks to one of the most primal instincts we have: to love and to be loved by someone who understands us. The puppy with uneven legs represents unconditional love. He also is a being that the little boy can pour out love to. The puppy will be receptive to being loved affectionately and will be expressing his love with warmth and affection. Think of the different personalities, enthusiasm, and receptivity of the different balls of fur rolling out of the doghouse. So, what are you looking for in friends and in loving relationships? Which puppy would be for you? Which friends are for you? Living by your values puts you square in Upbeat Living^sm! Make the choices that fits you best. After all, it’s your life!

__________________________________________________________

Energy – Peace – Meditation

Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert. She also has a natural healing practice and is an ordained minister. She is the author of the award-winning book, Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), plus the 2013 book, Peace Within: Your Peaceful Inner Core, Second Edition(http://tinyurl.com/mqg3uvc ). Her newest book is Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine, available through her office. Just email SacredMeditation@kebba.com.
For an appointment or to ask Kebba to speak for your group: calendar@kebba.com .

UpBeat Living: Caring, Acceptance and Letting Go

10 Sunday Jul 2016

Posted by Kebba Buckley Button in Acceptance, Caring, Kebba Buckley Button, Letting go, Relationships, stress, UpBeat Living

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

Acceptance, Caring, Kebba Buckley Button, Letting go, Relationships, UpBeat Living

Relationships all have a balance of caring, acceptance and letting go. We find happiness and well-being in finding the best balance. That’s what I want you to find: the balance that puts you in Upbeat Living^sm.

At one time, I knew a man whose life had just changed, in every major aspect. His relationship, his career, and the part of town he lived in had all changed quite recently. He was feeling highly impacted by all these things shifting at once, even though he was looking forward to the positive results and new horizons. He seemed shell-shocked. He was trying meditation as a means to collect his wandering, stressed consciousness and perhaps help him feel grounded again. He was aware of a need to emotionally let go of his previous ideas of who he was, and also to let go of connection he had had with family, friends, neighbors, and colleagues. Unable to let go, he was in great pain.

The more we hang on to the past, the stronger we grip the ties that bind, the more we give the bonds strength. For example, what if we care about a relative or romantic interest who does not care much about us? The more we focus on the love we want, that we are not getting from that person, the more energy we are giving the relationship, and the stronger the bond is—on our part. Continuing to love and ache for returned love, from a person who does not return those feelings, is unrewarding. I once heard this described as, “going to a hardware store looking for milk”. Yet, giving up that one-sided caring may be extremely painful. And we must give it up.

For people of faith: the Bible encourages us, in a number of places, to let go of the past and embrace the future we are co-creating with God. For example, Isaiah 43: 18-19 offers,

Forget the former things. Do not dwell on the past. Behold, I am doing a new thing: now it springs up. Do you not see it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.

Twenty years ago, I had a clear-cut experience of needing to let go. A pleasant couple who were neighbors of mine suddenly moved away. I was very fond of them and thought of them as friends. Yet, I found out they were leaving only hours before the moving van removed them from my street. My heart felt such a jolt! I asked myself what I was “missing” so strongly. I was very fond of the couple and yet knew that our friendship really never got off the ground. I would probably not hear from them again. So what were these pangs? Then my young self realized: while it is always good to like and admire people, and to wish them the best, I needed to let go of the idea that we would become friends someday. Oh yes! Time to laugh at my humanity. And I did laugh! And then I was able to let go.

When we are not getting the caring or love we want from a relationship, whether it’s Mom, a lover, or a friend, our biggest tool is acceptance. We need to adjust our feelings to fit the reality we now see. We need to move into acceptance to move out of hurt. Once we accept that we will never get what we once wanted, we have our power. We can let go.

When we let go, we get on with our relationships – with those who do reciprocate. When caring is mutual, life is more fun and fulfilling. So who and what do you need to let go of, to move on and live your best life? Because that’s Upbeat Living!

Energy – Peace – Meditation

Kebba Buckley Button is an ordained minister whose passion is helping people find their Peace Within. She also a stress management expert and has a natural healing practice. She is the author of the award-winning book, Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), and Peace Within: Your Peaceful Inner Core, Second Edition. Her newest book is Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine. Both that book and Peace Within are available through her office. Just email books@kebba.com.
Would you like an appointment or to ask Kebba to speak for your group? Just email calendar@kebba.com .

Social Stress: Getting What You Want

13 Wednesday Jan 2016

Posted by Kebba Buckley Button in Kebba Buckley Button, Relationships, Social Stress, stress, the life you want, UpBeat Living

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Kebba Buckley Button, Relationships, Social Stress, stress, The life you want, UpBeat Living

So here we are, almost 2 weeks into the New Year, 2016. Does it still feel new? Have you landed yet? Are you comfortably going along at the pace you imagined, as you set your New Year resolutions? Or are you having Social Stress?

As we leap, flow, or stumble backward into this New Year, many of us had already been thinking about what qualities we wanted in our lives for the next 12 months. While our way of living did not change on the stroke of 12 midnight, going into January 1, what we resolved to have different this year may have changed. Perhaps you have been thinking you would like that health condition to be cleared this year, or you would like that nasty divorce completed. Perhaps you would like to find that ideal degree program, get some special training, get a job where you’ll be happier, or tune up your business. Have you been writing down what you want to be true? Written goals get achieved much more often. You can always change them later, if your ideas of happiness change.

Speaking of happiness, did you have it in 2015? Were you pleased, content, and often smiling? Could you honestly say, “I have the life I want, and I am grateful”?

Have your relationships been just what you want? Or are you often frustrated with your relationships? The fact is that there are over 7 billion people on this planet, and you can meet a lot of them! In this new year 2016, would you like more closeness, more meaningful conversation, more laughs, and perhaps more fun? Are you looking for a significant other, a business partner, better employees? Or simply more smooth and pleasant business interactions? To eliminate Social Stress, try these three tools for tuning up your social satisfaction:

Listen to people and affirm. People want to receive the message that they are significant, that they “count”. Did you say you wanted some new friends? You may be just the great listener a new friend has been looking for. Listening is also the top way most people get the message they are cared about. Especially if you are not sure what the person is expressing, say it back to them, asking, “Now is this what you’re saying?” And add an affirmative thought of your own.
Consider the Mirror Effect when things go wrong. Sometimes the very thing someone claims about you is true of them, not you. A contractor I hired said I was selfish (hey, who was paying whom?), but she turned out to be a complete narcissist. Negotiation is sometimes impossible with these people, and you may have to walk. If so, walk quietly, and focus on what you want next, not what you don’t want.
Consider that some people aren’t for you, personally or professionally. If the other person/brother/Mom/cousin/neighbor/coworker is generally not responding to your emails, ideas or friendliness, consider giving less or letting go. You’ll have more energy for other relationships and for projects. And there are so many interesting people and projects in the World. Check Meetup.com for any subject area you may have in common with others, including simply winetasting or dining out. Your faith group has many ministries and projects, even yoga, games nights, book groups, writers’ discussions, and sports groups. I know a large Christian church in Phoenix that even has a motorcycle ministry.

Now install the following in your consciousness by repeating it 25 times twice daily, on rising and on going to sleep: “I have the life and the relationships I want, and I am grateful!” You’ll call in what you want with your fresh attitude. And now, may your year be joyfilled and bright. That’s Upbeat Living !

______________________________________________________________

Energy – Peace – Meditation

Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert. She also has a natural healing practice and is an ordained minister. She is the author of the award-winning book, Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), plus the 2013 book, Peace Within: Your Peaceful Inner Core, Second Edition(http://tinyurl.com/mqg3uvc ). Her newest book is Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine, available through her office. Just email SacredMeditation@kebba.com.
For an appointment or to ask Kebba to speak for your group: calendar@kebba.com .

Kindness: the New International Language

13 Tuesday Jan 2015

Posted by Kebba Buckley Button in Communication, Kebba Buckley Button, Kindness the new international language, Laughing, stress

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

communication, connect, Kebba Buckley Button, kindness the new international language, Laughing, Relationships, stress

Word Cloud by iculig-Fotolia

Centuries ago, French was the international language. If you wanted to talk to anyone from any country, both of you used French. In recent centuries, English has enjoyed that prominence. With over 600 languages on the Planet, your best bet for communicating with the most people is to try English. But what if you’re talking with someone who doesn’t speak it? And you don’t speak their language? Or perhaps you don’t even know what their language is?

I have found that kindness trumps all. I live in a very international neighborhood. We are widely diverse in age, economic status, ideas about clothing, food we choose, countries of origin, languages, and of course religion. I can speak American, British, some French, some German, and some Spanish. So I’m ahead of many. I can understand a lot more of various languages than I can speak. But I have found that kind people can communicate very well without any similarity in language.

Kind words can be short and easy to speak,

but their echoes are truly endless.

~ Mother Teresa

Take the day I stepped out of my car at a huge grocery store and saw a balloon floating rapidly past me. I mean rapidly! I looked in the direction it seemed to be coming from, and I saw a man and a small boy looking distressed. They were wearing Middle Eastern garb, the pajama-like loose outfits often seen in Afghanistan. I was wearing a skirted suit and heels. With no time to waste, I took off running after that balloon, as if Life On This Planet depended on it. 100 yards later, I caught it and yelled something clever, like,”YESSSS!!” A bit embarrassed, I carried the balloon back through the wind to the astonished waiting pair. Their faces said everything. Someone had been kind to them in their new country. The father gave me a very grave look, tucked his chin, and said, “Tink yoo Leddy.” Had we communicated? Perfectly! Perhaps they think of the crazy blond lady now, sometimes when they see balloons.

Consider now the great neighborhood nail salon. I went there following the wisdom of a popular review website. After 2 years, I am still getting exquisite, gracious service and beautiful nails that last ridiculously long. The staff speak mainly Vietnamese and gestures. I speak mainly very simple English plus gestures. We have become very fond of each other and sometimes share stories.

Kindness is the language that the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

~ Mark Twain

When I sit in the nail chair and it squeaks, I do a sitting dance and laugh. And we all crack up together. We read each other’s faces and know right away if we’re getting our point across or drawing a blank. One day my manicurist was very excited and laughing. She pointed to a woman at the front of the salon, getting a pedicure. She kept saying, proudly and happily, “[S]he mail! She mail!” I finally got it: the postperson for the salon, a female mail carrier, had decided to come in for a pedicure. It was a new horizon in their relationship. I was happy with them. Kindness is our primary language.

In the big membership discount store, I was looking for fresh snacks for a seminar group. Almost done with my tour of the 2-acre store, my eyes lit on fresh cherries in another shopper’s basket. Wahoo! There was an Asian-looking gentleman (Korean? Thai?) leaning on the cart handle, considering his list. I was hesitant to step across any cultural boundaries. Do women speak to unknown men in wherever-he’s-from? [I know, he could have been from LA, but my instincts turned out to be right.]

I really wanted some cherries for my group, now that I knew they were somewhere in the store. I took a deep breath and went over to him. Pointing to the cherries and smiling, I asked, “Excuse me, where did you find the cherries?” He gestured politely to the Cold Room. I said, “[A]h! That Cold Room! Thank you so much!” Now what happened next? He went to the Cold Room, 60 feet away, with me and showed me exactly where the cherries were, pointing politely! I was so touched. I exclaimed with delight, thanked him twice and said, “you are very kind.” I believe he understood me.

Kindness: the New International Language. Meeting someone who doesn’t speak your language doesn’t have to cause stress. Watch the person’s face, smile, be kind, and do your best. Laugh together when it feels right. We’re all on one planet together. It feels good to connect, with kindness.

———————————————————–

If you enjoy this post, please click “like” in the FB widget in the right hand column. You’ll have our undying gratitude plus a huge rise in your Good Karma! Due to a recent FB change, our “likes” look low. Thanks for your help!

Energy – Peace – Meditation

Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert. She also has a natural healing practice and is an ordained minister. She is the author of the award-winning book, Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), plus the 2013 book, Peace Within: Your Peaceful Inner Core, Second Edition(http://tinyurl.com/mqg3uvc ). Her newest book is Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine, available through her office. Just email SacredMeditation@kebba.com.
For an appointment or to ask Kebba to speak for your group: bookings@kebba.com .

Healthy Happy Loving Life!

~ Your source for energized, fulfilled, joyous living!

Category Archives: Relationships

Healthy Happy Loving Life: Lessons of the Heart from My Octopus Teacher

Featured

Healthy Happy Loving Life: Polar Vortex Again!

Healthy Happy Loving Life: An Interesting Life

Healthy Happy Loving Life: The Pinball Machine of Life

Healthy Happy Loving Life: Choose Joy!

Upbeat Living: What Puppy is for You?

UpBeat Living: Caring, Acceptance and Letting Go

Kindness: the New International Language

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this: