Healthy Happy Loving Life: Maybe You CAN Do What You Can’t

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beyond expectations, choices, Doing what you can't, energy, Fear, Feeling energized, fulfilled, Healthy Happy Loving Life, Kebba Buckley Button, living beyond, unstuck

© 2020 Kebba Buckley Button.  World Rights Reserved.

Photo by Kebba Buckley Button

Today I share stories of encouragement, of people doing things they never dreamed they could.  In tough situations, maybe you too can do things you never thought you could do.  Are you in a tough situation now?  Maybe you will end up doing what you “know” you can’t, to work through it?

East of Tucson, where the Santa Catalina Mountains meet the Rincon Mountains, there is a beautiful area called Redington Pass.  In season, water rushes over the rocks at the Tanque Verde Falls there.  In dry times, the boulders at the Falls have a smooth, eery beauty, shaped by the erosive power of the seasonal flows.  Hiking in this area is very popular, but the trails are hazardous, due to a type of rock that crumbles easily underfoot.  A woman arrived at the top of the dry Falls with a new companion who insisted they climb down the dry rocks of the Falls.  She asked, “but won’t we have trouble getting back over these huge, smooth boulders?”  Her companion insisted it would be fine.  At dusk, they were trapped adjacent to a 300-foot chasm, unable to reverse their downslope climb.  The companion leaped across the chasm to catch a fire hose that was bolted to the opposite side.  The woman climbed out using ½-inch ledges that, the week before, she would not have believed could save her.  She had just that month taken a single rock-climbing class. The next week, she read that a hiker had died at Redington Pass, because the trail fell away from under his steps.  Someone had died where the woman did what she would have thought she could not.

On April 2, John and Helen Collins were flying back home to Wisconsin from Florida in their twin-engine Cessna.  John, 81, owned several planes and was the knowledgeable pilot.  Helen, 80, was an experienced passenger, having travelled with John for decades.  Helen was recovering from heart surgery and had very little stamina.  Six miles from their destination, John had a heart attack and passed out, over the controls.  Helen contacted the Sheriff’s Department for help.  A local pilot flew up to the Collins’s plane to give Helen radio instructions so she could land the Cessna.  With help, she did what she was unable to do the day before:  she landed the plane.  She sustained only bruises.

Recently, on an idyllic beach on the coast of Brazil, dozens of people were sunning, relaxing, and swimming.  The day was easygoing and calm.  Suddenly, lumps appeared in the inbound surf.  As they got closer, it became clear that there were about 30 of them.  People started walking to the water’s edge to stare in disbelief.  It was a group of creatures swimming vigorously toward the shore.  They were actually dolphins, headed the wrong way.  Beached, they would not survive.  The people watching quickly began to experiment with ways to help.  The first tried grasping a dolphin by its fins, pulling it back toward the surf.  Others saw it was difficult to grip the fins and pull the dolphin, so they tried grasping the tails of other dolphins.  Soon, a number of compassionate humans were grasping dolphins and turning them back into the surf.  The redirected dolphins then raced away in exactly the direction they had come from, toward deep waters.  The day before, would any of these people have thought they would know how to help save a group of dolphins?  They had no experience with redirecting confused dolphins.  Yet, out of concern for creatures in distress, this group of people promptly pitched in and experimented, successfully saving all of these dolphins. 

What these three stories have in common is that the people came up with solutions when urgent needs arose.  The day before each scene, they would not have said they had these skills.  They might have laughed if someone had said, “Do you think you would ever…?”  Yet they did what they could not.  So be encouraged.  Whether you believe this was entirely human creativity or whether you see the Divine in these stories, ask yourself:  in what areas of life have you been thinking you “can’t?”  Make some notes for yourself about areas of life you wish were different, but you believe you can’t change.  Then think of the people who “couldn’t” but did.  Pick something from your list and consider stepping up.  It’s your life.  You are the only one who can live it.

And now you’re in the realm of Healthy, Happy, and Loving Life^sm!

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Kebba Buckley Button is a stress solutions expert and award-winning author who celebrates life.  She also has a longtime natural healing practice and is an ordained minister. Among her books are: Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), Inspirations for Peace Within:  Quotes and Images to Uplift and Inspire, and Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine.  The books are available on Amazon and through Kebba’s office.   To email us, kebba@kebba.com .

Books by Kebba Buckley Button

Fear Stress: Could Fear be Your Friend?

Tags

Dealing with stress, Effective living, Fear, fear stress, stress, Stress Management, The life you want, UpBeat Living

© 2016 Kebba Buckley Button, MS, OM.  World Rights Reserved.

Fotolia

Fear is wearing, fear feels bad, and fear holds us back: that’s Fear Stress.  And we all have fears.  Many try to squelch fear, because they see fear as the enemy.  Yes, you can actually fear your own fear.  However, holding us back is fear’s job.

Fear serves the primal function of revving your metabolism so you can run from a saber-tooth tiger or another dangerous enemy.  Fear causes the adrenal glands to squirt out many useful chemical compounds that boost your heart rate and other functions so you can race away from danger.  In an office environment, the extra adrenaline from fearful reactions just makes you tremble, possibly flush, and definitely feel “stressed”.  Some would use the word “apprehensive.”

We have small and large fears.  Some are spiritual, some mental, some emotional, and some physical.   Here are a few real-world examples of those.  A small spiritual fear might be, “[D]id I get the Pastor’s theme Sunday?”  A large spiritual fear might be, “[I]s God really there for me?”  A small mental fear: “[C]an I find the Chandler Library?” A large mental fear:  “[W]ill I get my taxes done correctly and on time?”  A small emotional fear may be: “[O]h no, here comes that annoying person!”  A large emotional fear: “[W]ill I ever get a soulmate?”  With fears in the physical sphere, a small one might be, “[W]ill I get to the dry cleaners before 5?’  And a large fear might be, “[W]ill that breast lump be malignant?”  Small fears often pass for worry.

You can actually fear your own fear!  Wouldn’t you rather dissolve it?

Why not make a few notes for yourself on the large and small fears you have?  Do you see patterns? Sometimes, we feel fearful, but we can’t zoom in on the actual fear.  If we can at least become aware that we are feeling fear, then here is a tool to use:  paper and pen (or keyboard) in hand, ask yourself “what am I feeling?”  Write that down.  Keep asking yourself, “[W]hat am I feeling?” and “[W]hat’s that about?”  Stick with it until you are clear on your fear or fears.  Ask yourself what your fears are telling you right now.

Now consider the twofold opportunity in befriending each fear.  Yes, opportunity!  First, where would you take your life without these fears?  What would you have accomplished already, had you not been fearful?  Second, how could you grow so that your fear would dissipate?  Journal your thoughts and feelings.  Leave space so you can add more thoughts later.  Truly, you can make those fears your friends.  Fears are your partners in opportunity.

Study of spiritual principles offers us various ways to beat Fear Stress, of whatever magnitude.  Perhaps the most powerful way is to fill your conscious mind with the positive, so that fear is crowded out.  Philippians 4:8-9 gives this method: “Finally, beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.  Keep on doing the things that you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, and the God of peace will be with you.”

This works even for those with no faith!  Feed the positive in your life and the negative will have no home.  Consider your fears, journalling out your thoughts and feelings.  Be honest with yourself. Then develop new habits that will displace your old fears.  It’s a new journey, but one that will endlessly enrich and expand your life.  For the life you want…why not start now?

  That’s Upbeat Living! ______________________________________________________

Energy – Peace – Meditation

• Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert.  She also has a natural healing practice and is an ordained minister. She is the author of the award-winning book, Discover The Secret Energized You, plus Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core, Second Edition. Her newest book is Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine. All the books are available through her office.  Just call, or email books@kebba.com. 
• For an appointment or to ask Kebba to speak for your group: calendar@kebba.com .

Fear Stress: Four Steps for Fighting Fear

Tags

David Ault, Dr.Susan Jeffers, Fear, fear stress, Feel the fear and do it anyway, stress, UpBeat Living

© 2016 Kebba Buckley Button, M.S., O.M.    World Rights Reserved.

 

We all know Fear Stress!  Fear is a basic and familiar feeling.  Fear is a useful emotion, if you’re a caveperson being chased by a large animal that wants to kill you.  Fear stimulates, creating temporarily greater strength and lesser sensitivity.   But too much of that fear chemistry is uncomfortable and causes us to overreact in modern environments, like an office or social group.  It can also cause burnout.  When we have ongoing or recurring fears, according to Dr. Marc Siegel, this “has the same effect on the human body that running an engine persistently from eighty to 100 miles per hour has on a car.”  Serious illnesses are likely to occur in the run-down person. These may include heart disease, cancer, stroke, and depression.

Are you afraid of world situations, of a particular person, of failure, of flying?  Would you like to feel less fear?   Fortunately, much is now known about solutions for fear.  Here are just a few first steps.

1.  If you have a general fear of moving forward or trying something new, remind yourself often that you must change your thinking and actions to get changed results.  So stretch yourself and stretch your comfort zone frequently.  Try posting inspirational quotes, such as this from Rev. David Ault:  “Ships are safe in port, but that’s not what ships are for.”  And Gary Kivela, a retired executive of Honeywell Aerospace, has said:  “If you want to see new territory you got to be willing to lose sight of camp.”  Only you can determine how far you will go, against your fears that would keep you safe—and unaccomplished.
2. If you have specific fears like fear of flying, try the classic method of desensitization, as in the work of the late Dr. Susan Jeffers, author of Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway available on Amazon.  For more inspiration from the work of Dr. Susan Jeffers, visit http://www.susanjeffers.com.
3. For any kind of fear, especially when your chest feels tight, you can use the body’s circuitry, massaging your forefinger, especially the segment between your hand and second knuckle.  No one will notice, and you will feel more relaxed.
4. Would you like to try fighting biochemistry with biochemistry?  Drink lots of water when fearful.  Run in place for 2 minutes.  Or, if you have time, use your treadmill for at least 20 minutes, or to the point where you sweat freely.   Now your body is rinsing the fear chemistry out.  Also, try biochemical antidotes, such as the Bach Flower Remedies from any health food store.  These are formulated to neutralize the compounds the body produces for various emotions.  Use Aspen for specific fears, Mimulus for generalized fears, and Walnut for fear of future conditions.  Follow the package directions, using several drops in a small glass of water, or just place several drops under your tongue for 2 minutes.

Fear can help us to respond better in truly dangerous situations.  However, we will have greater wellness, better relationships, and more expanded living, if we use effective tools to manage fears that hold us back.  Add all these tools to your life kit now.  And that’s Upbeat Living^sm!

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Energy – Peace – Meditation

 

 

• Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert.  She also has a natural healing practice and is an ordained minister. She is the author of the award-winning book, Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), plus the 2013 book, Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core, Second Edition(http://tinyurl.com/mqg3uvc). Her newest book is Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine, available through her office.  Just email SacredMeditation@kebba.com. 
• For an appointment or to ask Kebba to speak for your group: calendar@kebba.com .
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Truth Stress: Tell Your Truth Anyway

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Effective living, Fear, Kebba Buckley Button, stress, telling the truth, truth, truth stress

© 2015 Kebba Buckley Button, MS, OM. World Rights Reserved.

 

© iQoncept – Fotolia

 

 

 

 

I don’t normally write about politics, but this week is different. Born and raised in the USA, I have always been surrounded by people deeply committed to free speech. Truth, tempered with kindness and tact, is a fundament of my own writing. In this country, we count on our freedoms. The First Amendment to the Constitution guarantees us both freedom of religion and freedom of expression. As long as the free speech is not promoting terrorism, child pornography, and other destructive things, I think we should all say what we really think—ideally, tempered with an underlying intention of goodwill.

 

So recent attacks on a magazine office in Paris seemed like personal attacks on our way of life. There was no goodwill in this attack, or the attack the same day on the kosher shop in the outskirts of Paris. France is our friend. The French should be able to say what they think. Charlie Hebdo is a French satirical weekly magazine, somewhat parallel to our Mad Magazine. Days ago, their office was violently attacked, and twelve staff died. Al Quaida in the Arabian Peninsula (AQAP) is claiming credit for the attack.

 

The threat or fear of violence should not become an excuse or justification for restricting freedom of speech.

~ Alan Dershowitz

 

Standing together for freedom of speech, many world leaders joined a peace march in Paris that millions attended. Standing strong for their right to continue speaking freely, Charlie Hebdo went on to publish their next issue, and all 3 million copies sold out. They printed 2 million more. Those are apparently selling out. The cover shows an image of Mohammed weeping. Al Quaida’s narrative is that France and the USA are both committed to the destruction of Islam. Nonviolent Muslims don’t believe that narrative and are trying to get out the word that they don’t support Al Quaida. CNN newsman Anderson Cooper said this week that the best thing Christians and Muslims can do to negate Al Quaida’s narrative is to demonstrate mutual friendship.

 

This morning, a delightful letter from Mark Baird, of Anthem, Arizona, was published by the Arizona Republic. Here is the complete letter, reprinted within the use guidelines of the Arizona Republic:

 

            I wonder if I could get a clarification from S.J. Littleton, who in his Wednesday letter contended the staff at Charlie Hebdo had it coming. Does he apply the same standard to Christians as he does to Muslims? Is the predicate for justifiable assault the same for all religions?

            I’ve always felt that the bar for admission to the civilized world should be set at the standard that your invisible, infinitely powerful man in the sky ought to have the power to take a joke, and doesn’t need to have you go out and kill on his behalf.

            The precise fact that your beliefs compel you to act so violently with such little provocation is exactly what makes them worthy of being mocked.

            If you don’t like that rule, don’t live in our society. Go back to your cave for a few centuries and let the rest of us enjoy the comforts of our modern world and the pleasure of being able to talk openly about our beliefs and occasionally laugh at each other’s absurdities.

           ~ Mark Baird

 

Mr. Baird and I share a view that God has a sense of humor. After all, who created laughter and puppies? Why do babies smile?  I’ve never known anyone to lodge a protest against Mad Magazine. They and Saturday Night Live have been doing satire for decades, including religious satire, without violence. Can we all just lighten up a bit?

 

What do you say? Isn’t it still inherently good to speak your truth, aloud or in writing? Shouldn’t you be able to do that? Will you do that? I would like to know what you think.

 

 

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Energy – Peace – Meditation

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

• Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert.  She also has a natural healing practice and is an ordained minister. She is the author of the award-winning book, Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), plus the 2013 book, Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core, Second Edition(http://tinyurl.com/mqg3uvc ). Her newest book is Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine, available through her office. Just email SacredMeditation@kebba.com.
• For an appointment or to ask Kebba to speak for your group: bookings@kebba.com .

 

UpBeat Living: Spring Forth From “Stuck”

Tags

Fear, Inner Critic, stress, Stress Management, stuck, UpBeat Living

© 2014  Kebba Buckley Button, M.S., O.M.  World Rights Reserved.

iStock.com

Feeling stuck, in small ways or large?  Here are practical ways to get unstuck!

On a daily or hourly basis, when we feel “stuck”, we may have trouble starting that 4-hour project or even that 30-minute exercise session.   Experts recommend we gather all the right props around us, to help us feel ready and organized for each task.  In addition, a mug of a favorite herbal tea, a coffee drink, a water, or a particular soda, may help us feel ready to accelerate into that task.  While I can’t find the research basis yet, many people tell me that starting to eat a handful of M&Ms™ somehow gets them in gear to start grading those papers.  For my clients who can, I recommend running in place for 2 minutes.  This accelerates blood flow and relaxes the shoulder muscles, which releases typical tightening of the neck muscles, thus releasing correct blood flow to the brain and energy within the brain.  This makes the task seem easier and go faster.  Try this before a task you normally dislike, like leaving for work or cleaning the kitchen.  If you can’t run in place, try gently rolling and stretching your shoulders for 2 full minutes.

So, on a larger scale, what holds us back from jumping into new experience?  What keeps us from stepping up to our greatness in new levels?  Is it simply fear?

Consider the concept of the  “Inner Critic”, or “IC”, for a powerful psyche function that inhibits action.  In a therapy context called “Internal Family Systems”, or “IFS”, the IC is the dimension of a person’s consciousness that says “you’re not good enough” or “you shouldn’t try that, because you’re not up to it.”  According to Bay Area therapist Bonnie Weiss, an IFS expert, the IC is trying to protect you from embarrassment, failure, and other dynamics, so it should be viewed as your friend.  The IC is trying to help you live well.  However, by holding you back, the IC can create the very thing it is trying to prevent: your failure.  The IC stands against your “Inner Mentor”, or “IM”, who is wise and helps you make adult decisions.  The trick is to get to know your inner parts, especially your IM, and get them cooperating with each other.  If your IC is keeping you from walking up to an opportunity and introducing yourself, try this simplified technique:  stretch each leg and each arm briefly, exhale, inhale, and notice the challenge seems more interesting and less intimidating.   Repeat.  Over the longer term, Weiss says, we should also cultivate practices that develop our sense of self, such as journaling, meditation, inviting in witness consciousness, and yoga.

What do you want to step up to in your life?  Why not step up now?  So roll your shoulders, shoulder up, and shoulder on.  Claim your life.

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● Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert and the author of the award-winning book, Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), plus the 2013 book, Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core, Second Edition (http://tinyurl.com/mqg3uvc).  She also has a natural healing practice and is an ordained minister.

● Liked this article?  You can buy Kebba’s books:  just click the links!

• Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br). 
• Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core (Second Edition) (http://tinyurl.com/mqg3uvc)             

● Enjoyed this post?  Please click “like” in the FB widget in the right hand column!  You’ll have our undying gratitude plus a huge rise in your Good Karma.

● Please comment!

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● Reach the writer at kebba@kebba.com .

UpBeat Living: Forgive to be Powerful

Tags

Anger, choices, exhausted, fatigue, Fear, Feeling energized, Forgiveness, Forgiving, fulfilled, healing, overcoming fear

© 2012 Kebba Buckley Button.  World Rights Reserved.

Dr. Eileen Borris

Dr. Eileen Borris can teach you what you need to know about finding forgiveness.  She has been teaching forgiveness and reconciliation around the world for the Institute for Multi-Track  Diplomacy (Washington, DC), the U.S. Agency for International Development (USAID) and the United Nations Development Fund for Women (UNIFEM).  The last time I saw her she had just returned from giving workshops in Kuwait.  Shortly, she is off to Rwanda, for the Healing Wounds of History Conference.  Wherever she goes, Dr. Borris transforms.

In her book, Finding Forgiveness, the Foreword is offered by none other than His Holiness, The Dalai Lama.  His Holiness points out that: “When we become angry, we stop being compassionate, loving, generous, forgiving, tolerant, and patient altogether.  We deprive ourselves of the very things that happiness consists of…it is possible to realize that the past is past, that continuing to feel anger and hatred serves no purpose.”

Dr. Borris’s core methodology involves 7 steps:  becoming clear, telling your story, working with anger, working with guilt, reframing the situation, absorbing pain, and gaining inner peace.  She does not ask you to deny the wrong that occurred.  She does not ask you to forget it.  She does not ask you to not-seek appropriate justice where a crime has occurred.  What she does do is expose the complexities of forgiveness and invite you to work this process, ultimately setting yourself free.

Why do we need to forgive?  The final purpose for the individual is empowerment.  You  are at choice at all times.  When you forgive, you get back your power over whoever made you their victim.  Dr. Borris makes the point that animals do not hate.  Hatred requires conceptual thought.  But humans are able to hold thoughts of hate and vengeance lifelong.  How much energy does this steal from a person’s general lifestyle, joy, health, and productivity?

Try this for a moment:  bring to mind some terrible personal injustice that was done to you, which you have had trouble forgetting.  Perhaps someone attacked you.  Perhaps a boss treated you badly or even fired you unfairly.  Perhaps Mom always loved your sibling better.  Perhaps someone badmouthed you, telling tales that were totally unfounded.  Bring this injustice to mind and feel vividly the emotions that come with it.  Did your heart hurt or your back tighten up between the shoulder blades?  Did your shoulder tops tighten painfully?  How about your neck, your head, or your stomach?  Do these sensations feel like they are blessing or enhancing your beingness in any way?  Of course not.  So what has the toll on your mind, heart, body, and spirit been, in the months or years since the injustice occurred?  Is that toll enriching your life in any way?  Of course not.

If you would like to challenge yourself, try the following  exercise.  Get a pen and paper, and make notes of your thoughts and experiences as you do this.  Imagine your life if the injustice had never occurred.  What hours would you have spent enjoying life and your loved ones?  Would your marriage be better?  What friendships might you have developed, based on sharing happiness and companionship, that you did not because of the injustice?  How well would you have slept?  What excellent health would you have had all this time?  How much better would your concentration have been, on the job or in fulfilling recreation or charity work?  Would you have earned more money?  So what if you could have forgiven this injustice early in the game, and not spent any of this time on distraction, negativity, complaining, and generally experiencing a burden?  These may be tough questions for many of us.

Whatever your faith basis, does it make sense to hang onto any burden you do not need to hang onto?  You are always at choice.  What is your willingness to possibly hang up self-burdening beliefs about the importance of an injustice to you?  If these questions are provocative for you, why not pursue them further?  Your journey can be very freeing.

Now imagine living in a community where everyone is compassionate, everyone forgives and there is no impulse for revenge.  Now imagine that in the World community.  Countries would be waging peace, not war.  Imagine.

Some resources for further reading and techniques include:  Bruderhof Forgiveness Guide (www.foregivenessguide.org), A Course In Miracles (acim.org), Forgiveness Foundation (forgivenessfoundation.org), and the Forgiveness Project (forgivenessproject.com).

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● Your comments welcome!

 ● Reach the writer at kebba@kebba.com .

UpBeat Living: Doing What You Can’t

Tags

beyond expectations, choices, energy, Fear, Feeling energized, fulfilled, Inner Mentor, living beyond, unstuck

© 2012 Kebba Buckley Button.  World Rights Reserved.

Photo by Kebba Buckley Button

East of Tucson, where the Santa Catalina Mountains meet the Rincon Mountains, there is a beautiful area called Redington Pass.  In season, water rushes over the rocks at the Tanque Verde Falls there.  In dry times, the boulders at the Falls have a smooth, eery beauty, shaped by the erosive power of the seasonal flows.  Hiking in this area is very popular, but the trails are hazardous, due to a type of rock that crumbles easily underfoot.  A woman arrived at the top of the dry Falls with a new companion who insisted they climb down the dry rocks of the Falls.  She asked, “but won’t we have trouble getting back over these huge, smooth boulders?”  Her companion insisted it would be fine.  At dusk, they were trapped adjacent to a 300-foot chasm, unable to reverse their downslope climb.  The companion leaped across the chasm to catch a fire hose that was bolted to the opposite side.  The woman climbed out using ½-inch ledges that, the week before, she would not have believed could save her.  The next week, she read that a hiker had died at Redington Pass, because the trail fell away from under his steps.  Someone had died where the woman did what she would have thought she could not.

On April 2, John and Helen Collins were flying back home to Wisconsin from Florida in their twin-engine Cessna.  John, 81, owned several planes and was the knowledgeable pilot.  Helen, 80, was an experienced passenger, having travelled with John for decades.  Helen was recovering from heart surgery and had very little stamina.  Six miles from their destination, John had a heart attack and passed out, over the controls.  Helen contacted the Sheriff’s Department for help.  A local pilot flew up to the Collins’s plane to give Helen radio instructions so she could land the Cessna.  With help, she did what she was unable to do the day before:  she landed the plane.  She sustained only bruises.  See the nearly intact plane in the MSNBC report:  http://usnews.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/04/03/11001564-80-year-old-woman-lands-plane-after-husband-passes-out .

Recently, on an idyllic beach on the coast of Brazil, dozens of people were sunning, relaxing, and swimming.  The day was easygoing and calm.  Suddenly, lumps appeared in the inbound surf.  As they got closer, it became clear that there were about 30 of them.  People started walking to the water’s edge to stare in disbelief.  It was a group of creatures swimming vigorously toward the shore.  They were actually dolphins, headed the wrong way.  Beached, they would not survive.  The people watching quickly began to experiment with ways to help.  The first tried grasping a dolphin by its fins, pulling it back toward the surf.  Others saw it was difficult to grip the fins and pull the dolphin, so they tried grasping the tails of other dolphins.  Soon, a number of compassionate humans were grasping dolphins and turning them back into the surf.  The redirected dolphins then raced away in exactly the direction they had come from, toward deep waters.  The day before, would any of these people have thought they would know how to help save a group of dolphins?  They had no experience with redirecting confused dolphins.  Yet, out of concern for creatures in distress, this group of people promptly pitched in and experimented, successfully saving all of these dolphins.  A video shows how quickly and completely this rescue took place:   http://elcomercio.pe/player/1384898.

What these three stories have in common is that the people came up with solutions when urgent needs arose.  The day before each scene, they would not have said they had these skills.  They might have laughed if someone had said, “Do you think you would ever…?”  Yet they did what they could not.  Whether you believe this was entirely human creativity or whether you see the Divine in these stories, ask yourself:  in what areas of life have you been thinking you “can’t?”  Make some notes for yourself about areas of life you wish were different, but you believe you can’t change.  Then think of the people who “couldn’t” but did.  Pick something from your list and consider stepping up.  It’s your life.  You are the only one who can live it.

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— Your comments welcome! —

Reach the writer at kebba@kebba.com .

UpBeat Living: Handling Contempt

Tags

energy, energy foods, Fear, friendships, fulfilled, Health, social satisfaction

Over coffee,  a friend related a remarkable recent interaction she had.  She was at an event, chatting with a friendly acquaintance she had known and admired for many years.  Suddenly, she realized the friend was speaking to her with clipped disdain and narrowed, “steely” eyes.  He clearly disliked her and held her in contempt.  He expressed complete disrespect for her professional worth and work.  My friend has long admired this man and his work, and she has often chimed in when his name came up in conversation, when people spoke of how valuable his work was.  She has referred clients to him.  She liked him, until this moment of sudden realization.  She was shocked to realize the intensity of his disdain for her.  While she knew she had never done anything to the colleague or made negative remarks about him, he had formulated very negative views and feelings about her.  She was tempted to feel terrible.  Wisely, she left the room for awhile, then chatted with others until the end of the event.

I congratulated my friend on leaving the room, shifting the energy.  If the man hates her, she doesn’t owe it to him to take in more of his hatred.   I asked her if she had done a few complete breaths.  She said yes, that was her second strategy, and it felt good!  Later, either journaling or hitting the treadmill would also help discharge her emotions about the negative encounter.

So what about the best ongoing strategies?   If people have been making up negative stories to tell this man, and that is why he has been so negative to my friend, there is little she can do to counter those stories.  Making up stories is a time-honored human habit.  It is so common it is even mentioned in the Bible.  Rather than trying to dig into the cause of the negativity, it is much better for her to be her best self and let her accomplishments and true character shine.  People adjust quickly to positive changes we make.  Even those who held negative beliefs about us can forget those when they have new, positive experiences with us.

My friend plans to steer clear of the colleague as much as possible, stop referring clients to him, and keep the most positive thoughts and friends.  She wisely believes she cannot control anyone else, their thoughts, or their comments.  But she can control where she puts her attention and energy.

UpBeat Living: Save Your Stale-O-Meter(sm) with Microshift, Part 2

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choices, energy, Fear, Feeling energized, fulfilled, happy, stress, tired, unstuck, vitality

(c) Kebba Buckley Button 2010.  World Rights Reserved.

We’ve been talking about feeling stale vs. getting refreshed.  Your brain, your metabolism, and your soul all need to be recharged sometimes.  Microshift, or very small change, can be delightful and give you a great re-set.  Do you want to experiment with refreshing your brain? How bored, stuck, or stale do you feel right now? Pick your own scale, such as the “Stale-o-meter,” where “ten” is feeling completely stale, bored, stagnant, or flat and “zero” is feeling totally vital, refreshed, stimulated, inspired, and generally excited with life. On the scale you’ve picked, write down your self-score for your current state. Now offer your mind some microshift as you consider some of the new phenomena in different aspects of life:

1. The Smithsonian Institute, once only a site to visit in Washington, D.C., now has Culturefest programs around the country. The Smithsonian Associates now take cultural and scientific treasures on tour with speakers and concert presentations.
2. There is now a science of fragrance and flavor generation. The City Museum of Stockholm recently had a British scientist create a “disgusting” odor for an exhibit on ancient medicines featuring mummification. In British nursing homes, a fragrance called “granny’s kitchen” and one called “coal fire” are used therapeutically to assist elderly dementia patients.
3. In Florida and the Caribbean, after recent hurricanes, there have been ecosystem shifts. These have resulted in a population explosion for the spadefoot toad, with many millions of baby spadefoot toadlets now hopping around the landscape.
4. In the world of wine, the next oenophile horizon is Geneva—yes, Geneva, Switzerland. While only 1% of the annual wine output of Switzerland gets exported, a target market has recently been found in Brussels, since Belgium is too cold for growing grapes.
5. In Dubai, the United Arab Emirates, the temperature often gets to 130 degrees Fahrenheit. An indoor Alpine-skiing facility has been built, attached to a major shopping mall, by an international team.
6. The newest “green” textiles are made from bamboo. Not only can you buy bamboo flooring, you can now purchase pillows and fashions made from bamboo fiber.

So, now how is your Stale-o-meter self-score? I hope that, after looking at novel information, it is noticeably lower. This is “microshift,” tiny changes created with little time, effort, or cost. What would happen if you actually did something different today? Call an old friend, try a new friend, visit a new restaurant, or order a different dish. See a movie someone else picked. Plan a vacation or conference trip. Just thinking out the details will refresh your mind, whether or not you actually go.

Join a special interest organization. Clean out a closet and take the extras to a charity. Visit a new church or local meetings of a political party. Go to a lecture, an art opening, or a student concert. Volunteer to serve at a soup kitchen, to work in a food bank, or to deliver senior lunches. Inquire about having your dog trained as a therapy dog. Offer a course at a senior center or community college. Invite a few people over to watch a provocative film, fiction or documentary. Thinking about this list, has your Stale-o-meter score shifted? Are you perhaps feeling more energized?

If not, consider changing your input sources and settings. Novelty stimulates. Try Microshift for Uplift^sm, daily for seven days, and check your Stale-o-meter again. If you’re enjoying yourself so much that you forget to note your Stale-o-meter score, it’s definitely working. We need shift, and we can make shift happen. The quality of your life depends on you. Why not choose the greatest quality now?

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Reach the writer at kebba@kebba.com.