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effective living strategies, Grief, Healthy Happy Loving Life, Kebba Buckley Button, The life you want, we can't look backward and forward at the same time
© 2021 Kebba Buckley Button, MS, OM. World Rights Reserved. http://www.kebba.com
Kebba and Ron 2020
I have been wending my way along the path of widowhood for 5 months now. It seems new every day. Fortunately, I am well aware that every widow’s path is different. We must each make our own path and find our own way–as with life in general. I am blessed to have amazing friends, neighbors, co-Board members, church friends, Shrine friends, and all the couples Ron was friends with, going back many years.
My husband, Ron Button, was a very brilliant and full-hearted person. I met him over 30 years ago, at a party I didn’t want to go to. I love to stay home and be quiet. But, prevaricating about going to the party, I was suddenly moved to look up and ask, “What do You think?” I instantly heard these words: “You will go. You will get dressed, you will look cute, you will meet interesting people.” Oh my! I was very shocked to hear words from Heaven. I had had inspirations from Above many times, but a specific verbal opinion–never! So I quickly got dressed and went to the party. And there, across the barbecue area, was a gorgeous man I had never seen before. I found out his name was Ron.
Eighteen years later, Ron asked me out, and within 3 weeks, we knew we were meant for each other. We knew God was our matchmaker. We made the most of the next 15 years. Unfortunately, Ron’s health failed over the last 2 years, and he passed in hospice August 1st. I miss him.
Now you may think I feel sorry for myself, or that I should. I am definitely feeling grief, in pulses. I feel painful compassion for Ron’s uncomfortable illness and unclarity. But that pain was in the Past. I have to steer myself around to look at the Now, rather than the Past. We cannot look at the Past and at the Future at the same time. I have to be grateful–starts with the same letter as “God”– that Ron is released now. He is no longer in pain. He will never have more doctor visits or procedures. He is free! When Ron was here, we used to make up children’s songs and bounce around in a circle, when we had a thing to celebrate: “weeeee sold the houuuuuuse!” Within hours of his passing, Ron’s voice came to me in the living room: “Wheeeee! I’m freeeee! I’m freeeee!” Joy!
For Ron, I am so glad he is released. For me, I don’t want to skip any part of my grief process and end up with impacted emotions and health issues down the road. But I get to keep turning back to the path ahead. I do my best to keep my focus on the Present, with an eye to what God and I are co-creating for the Future. That’s where my life is now.
Keep in mind that it is impossible to look back and look forward at exactly the same moment, and you’ll spend more time celebrating the Present with an eye to the Future you want. And that’s you, increasingly more Healthy Happy and Loving Lifesm!
Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert, holistic healer, and award-winning author who celebrates life. She has a longtime natural healing practice and is an ordained minister. Among her books are: Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), Inspirations for Peace Within: Quotes and Images to Uplift and Inspire, and Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine. The books are available on Amazon and through Kebba’s office. To email us, kebba@kebba.com .
Books by Kebba Buckley Button
Healthy Happy Loving Life! 
Ron sounds like an incredible man and I’m so happy you have wonderful memories to hang on to. But I do know what you mean about can’t look at the past and the future at the same time. I have some painful memories that I will never forget but I learned years ago I can’t change anything that was not my doing. I’m a positive person and look to the present and thank God for everything he’s blessed me with and excited for the future.
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I am blessed to have been able to read your love story. Thank you for sharing. As you look forward and move ahead, my hope is that your memories of the love you experienced will forever bring you joy.
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Thank you for sharing your love story. For sharing words that we need to hear, to look forward. Sending you hugs across the miles.
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I am so sorry for your loss, but I can tell how much you loved him and that he is still guiding you, helping and loving you. Keep making up the children’s songs and move forward. I wish you the best.
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