brain flat, bummed, don't care, down, Grief, stress, stressed, Upbeat
© 2013 Kebba Buckley Button. World Rights Reserved.
Have you ever had a day when you just didn’t care? A day when you weren’t interested in anything you usually care about? For you thread-pickers, how about a day when you saw a colored thread on the carpet, you thought you should pick it up, and you just didn’t feel like it, for once?
Recently, I had a day when that was me. I wasn’t craving coffee or chocolate or any other tastebud comforts. I wasn’t tired or sick, and my schedule was more relaxed than usual, for a couple of days. So I wasn’t under the usual pressure of big deadlines. Plus, the weather was idyllic, so I had the windows open, and I should have felt happy and full of life. But my brain was flat. And I didn’t care about the little thing on the floor I should have been picking up. Finally, my front-brain got cranky with the rest of me and asked loudly, “WHAT IS WRONG WITH US TODAY? SINCE WHEN DO WE NOT CARE?”
I’m usually devoutly upbeat, taking an “up” approach to everything. So I was puzzled to be in this state. But, thinking over the previous couple of days, I realized I was “down” this day. A friend was in the hospital with severe cardiac disease, for which little medical therapy is available. He struggles for breath and believes he is basically out of options. This is a good-humored man who loves to volunteer and entertain.
Also, a buoyant woman I knew had died in hospice, a fact I had only learned from the morning paper’s obituaries. I liked her a lot, in the years we were in touch. She always had some new creative project going on. She was warm, cheerful, generous, beautifully groomed, and thoughtful.
Finally, I realized I was sad and a bit discouraged. With my holistic healing practice of many years, I have supported many people with many conditions, often with dramatic positive results. Yet, obviously,
I can no longer do anything for my friend who has died. The friend who is in the hospital is mainly looking for the right medication, which is not my area. As the person who generally has answers to help others feel better and heal better, I had hit 2 dead ends in 2 days. That explained it. I was “bummed”! I was “down”! I was also grieving. My brain felt flat, and I didn’t care about bits on the floor or organizing next year’s calendar.
By now, are you remembering weeks when you’ve had similar experiences? What was going on then, and how did you feel? Did you journal about it then, or would that perhaps feel good now?
May I boldly suggest 3 things? First, ask yourself, “What is wrong with me?” and listen. Second, journal about it until you get the “Aha!” in it. Third, give yourself some time to be flat, or bummed, or down. Read novels, garden, walk, edit your most beautiful photographs, or let yourself clean the house on Automatic, letting easy, repetitive tasks soothe you like meditation. Let your mind, heart, and soul roam free for awhile, until you feel yourself rising again. Soon you’ll come back out of yourself, becoming vivid, colorful, and enthusiastic again.
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