Healthy Happy Loving Life: Beating Rudeness Stress

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effective living strategies, Healthy Happy Loving Life, Kebba Buckley Button, Rude, Rudeness, Rudeness Stress, stress, The life you want

© 2021 Kebba Buckley Button, MS, OM.  World Rights Reserved. http://www.kebba.com 

Last year, there was a day when I had Rudeness Stress for 20 minutes.  Someone was rude to me, in comments about one of my articles, and I was trying to decide how to respond, or if I should.  I had spent a lot of time selecting a photo and building a quote poster, and of course, writing an article I passionately believed would help people with stress.  The Rude Responder had a personal issue and saw it somehow in an aspect of the quote poster, in the background of the photo.  Yes, seriously!  Her Hot Topic was nothing whatever to do with the theme of my article.  Yet, she kept posting Facebook comments on her Hot Topic, more and more fervently, since no one was giving her the response she wanted: either a fight or an agreement.

Clearly, this woman was not familiar with my work, or she might have interacted very differently.  I teach positivity and boundaries, among other principles.  The woman was wasting her time and energy, dwelling on a negative topic she imagined was hidden in my quote poster, and over which she had no control.  So she sustained her own stress over at least a half hour period, as she kept posting the increasingly insistent anxious comments.  She was also completely off-topic for my article, and several kind comments from others did not pull her back to the topic.

When you think repeatedly about unpleasant situations, your body takes instruction from your brain.  It responds exactly as if you were actually in the stressful situation. You then feel stressed and tired and can’t think clearly.  As I struggled to explain or excuse the RR’s behavior, I felt myself getting tense.  Finally, I took my own advice to end my energy investment in this negative stress.  I cleaned out the RR’s comments and unfriended her.  Someone else’s rudeness is your opportunity to practice your boundaries and make the right energy choices.

A friend commented that this sequence dovetailed nicely with my recent articles on Junk Stress.  In those articles, I argued we should clear away anything we don’t need and then enjoy our cleaner, clearer, more energized environment.  And the same in relationships.  I got the RR’s negative stress out of my life in only a short time and alleviated the Rudeness Stress I was experiencing. I do believe I’m feeling lighter, looser, and younger already!  Copy my strategy when someone is rude to you, and you will be more and more in the realm of Healthy, Happy, and Loving Life^sm !   

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Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert, holistic healer, and award-winning author who celebrates life.  She has a longtime natural healing practice and is an ordained minister. Among her books are: Discover The Secret Energized You , Inspirations for Peace Within:  Quotes and Images to Uplift and Inspire, and Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine.  The books are shown and reviewed on Amazon (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br) and can be obtained through Kebba’s office ($10 pdf, $20 softback–includes postage).  Our email/PayPal is: kebba@kebba.com .

Books by Kebba Buckley Button

 

 

Upbeat Living: Rudeness Stress and How to Handle It

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at choice, Kebba Buckley Button, Rude, Rudeness Stress, stress, UpBeat Living

© 2016 Kebba Buckley Button, MS, OM.  World Rights Reserved.

Rudeness Stress is all too prevalent now, as more people are stressed out than ever before, and it seems “reasonable” to them to be rude, nasty, and profane to you.  Of course you feel stressed by someone being rude, but you’ve come to the right place.  This column is committed to helping you live with the most joy and satisfaction you can.  Science and reason come together here, to give you the best ways to have the best life you can: best relationships, improved health and less aging.  We call this Upbeat Living^sm.

So when you inevitably get rude and nasty behavior aimed at you, know this:

• Difficult people are a very common source of stress. They can totally suck your energy and leave you exhausted and frustrated– if you let them.
• And that is what they want! Some are insecure and trying to bring others down to their level.
• Some see your light shining and are jealous, so they want to dim your light, if they can.
• Some simply enjoy others’ pain, and they hope to hurt you, especially in front of others.
• Your best response is usually no response. And others will give YOU credit.
• And you are always at choice about how you respond.

An unknown writer said,

Be thankful for the difficult people.  They have shown you exactly who you don’t want to be. 

 

Famous motivational pastor, Joel Osteen, said,

Sometimes, God uses difficult people, like sandpaper, to rub the rough edges off of us. 

 

So, for example, if someone has just made you the butt of a joke in front of others, keep smiling.  They gave you a gag award for talking too much?  Here’s your strategy.  With a cheerful smile on your face, and possibly a little laugh, say, “Isn’t it wonderful we all have such a great sense of humor!”  Then quietly, peacefully, walk away.  No rolling your eyes. Portray pleasant happiness.  Smile as you walk away.  If you think they were trying to humiliate you, they were.  If you can pretend you found the humiliating circumstance funny, do that, laugh, and again, walk away, because you are very busy and need to get to your next meeting/deadline/appointment. If it was at a company party, never go again.  You are so busy, you can’t think what your calendar holds for that day, when they ask you to the next company party.  A lot of people never go to company parties, and now you are one of them.

Are there experiences you have had with rude and/or nasty people?  How did you deal with it?  What now seems like the most effective way to deal with it?

A fractured Latin phrase advises us:  Nil Illegitimi Carborundum, or “Don’t let the bastards wear you down”.  Again, don’t give them energy.  You have a right to lead a healthy and happy life. When you encounter Rudeness Stress next time, be brief in dealing with anything negative. Soon, you will notice your stamina rising and your happiness taking over.  And that’s Upbeat Living!

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Energy – Peace – Meditation

• Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert.  She also has a natural healing practice and is an ordained minister. She is the author of the award-winning book, Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), plus the 2013 book, Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core, Second Edition(http://tinyurl.com/mqg3uvc ). Her newest book is Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine, available through her office.  Just email SacredMeditation@kebba.com. 
• For an appointment or to ask Kebba to speak for your group: calendar@kebba.com .