Gliding Into Your Fabulous New Year

Tags

change, Effective living, exhaustion, goals, Guilt, Negative stress, resolutions, stress

 

© 2015  Kebba Buckley Button, MS, OM.  World Rights Reserved.

© Daniele Depascale-Fotolia

So it’s a whole fresh new year—a blank slate to be written upon. Happy New Year 2015! Whoops (sound of brakes screeching)! Are you happy? How do you feel right now? If you need to move the ice pack off your head before you can operate the keyboard, that’s okay. I’ll wait. Open your iPad or your iPhone Notes app, or get out that pen and paper. Let’s take just 5 minutes together, or more, if you find this interesting. Today is the perfect day to ask yourself some questions:

• Is your body comfortable, your heart full, your mind clear and at ease, your spirit at peace? No one is going to see your answers unless you choose to share, so jot down key words, cryptic phrases, or even write out your feelings at length.
• And what about your life and livingness? Do you have the relationships you want? Do you feel loved?
• Is money working for you the way/s you would like?
• Are you and the Divine on friendly terms?
• What about your environment? Does it look pleasant to you? Does the flow work for you? Or is it dull and messy, the closets overflowing and files impossible to navigate?
• Today, how does your life look, compared to what you envisioned on January 1^st a year ago?

 

Notice I have not yet used the R-word. I want you to forget the guilt and forget being hard on yourself. Most say we should jump powerfully into our new year with a renewed sense of discipline and determination. Today, as a stress management expert, I’m supposed to talk enthusiastically about goals and resolutions, why they work and don’t work, blah blah blah. But we can cover those tomorrow. And please come back for that piece. As usual, my recommendations don’t go where others usually go. I want your life and work to be as painless and as satisfying as possible.

 

So for today, please forget all the resolutions you made a year ago. Forget how you’ve been eating and drinking and not-exercising the last several weeks. Forget what the scale said this morning. (You had to look, didn’t you?) Today, you are behind on last year’s idealized ideas of who and how you and your life should be. Some of you are feeling really guilty about the gap. Guilt depresses your parasympathetic nervous system and leaves you more open to illness, so it’s the worst strategy to nurture your guilt.

“Guilt is anger directed at ourselves.”

~ Peter McWilliams

 

May I boldly suggest you stop guilting yourself right now? Instead, today, do what your body-mind-heart-spirit system needs: gentle transition from holiday health into the vigor you want and need for a powerful New Year. Do these things today, and continue this week:

• Drink lots of extra filtered water. This detoxes.
• Eat less sweet stuff today. Sweetness is yin and makes you yin: swollen, weak, slow and quiet.
• If you can, walk for 20 minutes or tread on your treadmill, at walking speed, for 20 minutes. More detox.
• Schedule some energy therapy like Jin Shin Jyutsu ® for balancing. This can eliminate the aches and unclarity.
• Take some time in Nature. This pumps up your master hormone, DHEA, making you stronger and more resilient. The effect is immediate. An upcoming article will expand on this amazing phenomenon.
• If you like God, pray, or just find a quiet place and moment, and talk. You may be wonderfully surprised at what you hear.
• Start a journal, in your iPad or the like, your iPhone notes section, or in a disguised document on your computer. As you finish reading this article, take 5 minutes to write down some of your realizations. Notice how much lighter you feel?

“It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution.”

~ Oscar Wilde

 

I would like you to enjoy your New Year! And to start making the most of it, consider gliding into it gently. Forget the advice to jump in forcefully. Create a transition from the Holidays, treat yourself kindly, and your pzazz will be back in mere days. Now: Happy (and Fabulous) New Year!

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Energy, Peace, Meditation

 

 

• Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert.  She also has a natural healing practice and is an ordained minister. She is the author of the award-winning book, Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), plus the 2013 book, Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core, Second Edition(http://tinyurl.com/mqg3uvc ). Her newest book is Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine, available through her office. Just email SacredMeditation@kebba.com.
• For an appointment or to ask Kebba to speak for your group: bookings@kebba.com .

 

UpBeat Living: ReBlog from Ripplespillers: When Worry Hits You

Tags

Negative stress, Ripplespillers, stress, UpBeat Living, worry

© 2013 Kebba Buckley Button.  World Rights Reserved.

Yesterday, I wrote about the kind of day that just makes you want to scream.  The article is called, UpBeat Living: Coping With AAAGH! (http://wp.me/pw4HM-d5 ).  For people who usually have happy, productive days, a day that makes you want to scream is unusual.  I made several recommendations for when this happens to you.  Today, my writer friend Susan Wilson, creator of Ripplespillers, posted an article on a related experience:  when worry is just overtaking you, day after day.  I am reblogging her entire post here, for you who are ready to really deal with WORRY.  You will love her points and pointers.  Enjoy!

When worry hits you between the eyes…

by Susan Wilson, Ripplespillers

Are you a worrier?

Do you toss and turn at night, turning things over in your mind, fretful, stressed, reliving the day’s events in your mind – why did she say that to me?; how can I finish that stats analysis by Thursday?; is that a spot or a lump?…

… or anticipate the next day’s – must get to sleep or I’ll miss the alarm clock and the bus; should visit mum after work in case she’s taken another turn; have that meeting with the boss at 8.30… why so early… that can’t be good…

Sound familiar?

I have to confess I’m a bit of a worrier. In fact, I could probably make that my specialist subject on Mastermind!

A headache is never just a headache to me; it’s always a brain tumour.
Backache is never just a strained muscle; always kidney failure.
A midnight phone call is not an overseas friend but a family emergency
Writer’s block is not just a temporary blip but a permanent state and I’ll never write anything ever again…

You get the picture.

Now, I’m not saying we don’t have to be careful – especially in these days of atrocities and catastrophes. We absolutely do have to keep our eyes open and our antennae raised. We have to concern ourselves with our surroundings and be alert for anything unusual.

But there’s a difference between concern and worry.

Concern reminds me of the old advert for the breakfast cereal, Ready Brek, where a young boy and girl have a tasty bowl of it for breakfast, then jaunt off merrily to school surrounded with an ‘aura’ of heat, ready for anything, protected against everything. Concern is our invisible protection.

Worry, however, is more like a suit of armour – unyielding, unbreatheable, too heavy to move in, ending up crushing the wearer.

So, how do you spot the signs of worry?

If you’re suffering from chronic insomnia, irritability, frustration, anger even, these can often be tell-tale signs. So can headaches, stomach and digestive problems, and pains that spring up anywhere at any time. In extreme cases, self-harming might also raise its ugly head – though I’d hope that, if that’s you, you care enough about yourself to seek help, and seek it now!

Worry is a chronic peace-stealer which, if left unchecked, can all too easily lead to hopelessness!

The Bible has a lot to say about worry:

Worry weighs a person down (Proverbs 12:25)
Don’t worry about anything; instead pray about everything (Phil 4:6)
Do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink, or about your body, what you will wear… (Matt. 6:25)

And my personal favourite:

Don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Matt 6:34)

Ain’t that the truth?

So how do you stop worrying?

1. Make sure you’re well-rested – your brain won’t be able to process information to its optimum ability, reasonably, dispassionately, if you’re tired or stressed out.
2. Seize the thought, as soon as it flits across your mind.
3. Decide if it’s real or imagined (some of my best and most persistent worries are totally fictitious, made up in the comfort of my own head!)
4. If it’s real, is it something you can do something about?
5. If it is, then do it: if a health issue, get it checked out; if a relationship problem, get it out in the open and talk about it with your partner (or friend, if it’s a friendship thing); if it’s a work problem, brainstorm actionable steps you can take to either work through it or ask for help with it.
6. If it’s something you have no control over, then lay it down. If you have a spiritual faith, then pray to your God. Lay all your worry – the whole thing – at his feet. Don’t keep anything back. Don’t just give him the hard stuff, or the stuff you think he wants to take. Give the whole thing away. Just be sure not to lift it back up again when you leave!

Sometimes turning the situation around can help, too.

For example, say you have a presentation to do on Thursday in front of your work colleagues. You’re nervous, you’re losing sleep, you’re beginning to worry.

There could be several reasons for this:
– you might be suffering from feelings of inadequacy
– you might fear the spotlight
– you think someone will ask you something you can’t answer
– you’re scared you’ll dry up – like a rabbit in headlights!

These are all legitimate, if usually unfounded, fears.

Turning the situation around allows you to confront your fear and, once seen, it already becomes smaller. Make it smaller still by some positive roleplay:
– see yourself not as inadequate, but powerful
– visualise yourself as relishing your time in the spotlight
– you’re thoroughly prepared; if you can’t answer that question, nobody can!
– you’re looking forward to the opportunity to share your information

So, when worry comes calling, don’t open the door and let it in. Don’t let it rob you of your peace for a moment longer.

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● If you enjoy this post, please click “like” in the FB widget in the right hand column.  You’ll have our undying gratitude plus a huge rise in your Good Karma.

 

● Kebba Buckley Button is a Master’s Degree scientist, a minister, and the award-winning author of  the 2012 book, Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core (http://tinyurl.com/abd47jr), and also Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br).  She also has a natural healing and stress management practice and is a celebrated public speaker.

 

● Your comments are welcome!

 

● Get these articles by email– just click the Subscribe Free option in the right column.

 

● Reach the writer at kebba@kebba.com .

UpBeat Living: Manage Your Energy, Not Your Stress

Tags

at choice, choices, Effective living, energy, Feeling energized, fulfilled, Health, living beyond, Negative stress, Positive stress, stress, Stress Management, trading stress for energy

© 2013 Kebba Buckley Button.  World Rights Reserved.

Paraglider over Rio
Photo by iStockPhoto

Many people think of stress as something of a climatic condition, a sort of heat. Picture a large thermometer labeled “How hot will you get today?”  Let’s call that The Stress-O-Meter (sm). In this model, people talk about “heating up” as they get stressed and “cooling off” as they unstress. They may say, “Boy, he really got hot under the collar at that meeting!” or “Yow, that’s a hot topic!” or “What a heated discussion we had at that board meeting!” People may tell a stressed-out person to “cool off” or “chill out” or even “calm down” meaning “come down in your stress/heat level.”

People ride up and down their personal Stress-O-Meter, the thermometer of stress, during their day. They heat up, then they cool off or chill out.   What happens when someone gets so stressed out that they hit the top of their Stress-O-Meter? They “explode” or “go over the top,” just as a thermometer explodes when overheated.

While this way of seeing stress is very popular, it doesn’t serve us.  In the Stress-O-Meter model, we have no real control of our stress.  How much more powerful is it to see stress as a matter of perception and focus, as we’ve been discussing, with each of us as the manager of our personal energy budget each day?

“Now you can become an energy manager!”

–Kebba Buckley Button

Now, you can become an energy manager!  Right now, try stretching your ideas about how to use your week. Imagine that your energy is measurable in Energy Dollars, instead of in hours and minutes. Imagine that, for each day of the week, you have a budget of 1440 Energy Dollars. That’s one Energy Dollar for every minute of the day. Now imagine that it’s up to you to invest your Energy Dollars wisely. You lose Energy Dollars when you invest them in people and activities that exhaust you. You multiply your Energy Dollars when you sleep really well or invest in people and activities that energize you.

We have talked about the power of positive stress vs. negative stress (https://kebbabutton.wordpress.com/2013/01/08/upbeat-living-the-upbeat-living-energy-equationsm/ ). Review it again now, and journal a few examples of ways you became tired or energized in the last week or two. Just for fun, try giving  your positive and negative energy investments Energy Dollar values. Do you see any patterns? Overall, are you gaining or losing energy during your week?

Stress can come from internal or external causes. We cannot fully control anything outside our own body or mind. We can, however, control our reactions (meaning “choose effective responses”) to internal or external causes. We are most likely to choose effective responses and strategies if we are selecting proper breathing techniques, proper diet and fluids, best posture, best exercise regime, good sleep, and satisfying recreation.

How would you like to start getting younger again?

–Kebba Buckley Button

Operating your life as though there is a giant Stress-O-Meter can only lead to an exhausting lifestyle, running on nervous energy. I call this the False Energy Range. In that range of energy, both fatigue and dis-ease, or “disease”, will accumulate. To escape the False Energy Range, you need excellent rest, correct refueling, breathing clear air, drinking high quality water, and beginning refreshing re-creation, or “recreation.” Escapees from the victimhood of exhaustion and negativity can then use LifeTools(sm) to convert stress to energy and respond more effectively to situations. This restructuring of thinking and responses then leads you into what I call the Real Energy Range. Now energy and productivity start climbing up, and each person starts to recharge, re-empower, revitalize, and actually rejuvenate.  How would you like to start getting younger again?

Next time:  Positives we can add, to lift our energy!

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● Kebba Buckley Button is a corporate stress management trainer and the author of the award-winning book, Discover The Secret Energized You, and the 2012 book, Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core.  She also has a natural healing practice and is an ordained minister.

● Your comments are welcome!

● Get these articles by email– just click the Subscribe Free option in the right column.

● Reach the writer at kebba@kebba.com .

UpBeat Living: The UpBeat Living Energy Equation(sm)

Tags

at choice, Effective living, energy, exhausted, Feeling energized, Health, Kebba, Negative stress, Positive stress, stress, Stress Management

© 2013 Kebba Buckley Button.  World Rights Reserved.

Photo by Microsoft

Today, there are two take-home messages:  using the word “stress” to mean “focus”, and using the UpBeat Living Energy Equation(sm).  Enjoy!

1.  Use the Word “Stress” for Focus

When people talk about “having stress,” sometimes they mean causes and sometimes they mean effects. For example: people say they “have stress” when they mean they have too much to do.  Other people say they “have stress” when they mean they have headaches or other physical results of their reactions to having too much to do.  So, some people are telling you about conditions that could cause stress, and some people are describing the symptoms in their bodies. It’s certainly valid to say you have too much to do, or any other situation you don’t like.  However, it adds to your confusion and therefore to your stress, to throw causes, choices,and results all into the mental bucket labelled “stress.” I want you to clear your mind by changing the way you use this word “stress” now. Think of what you want to  “stress,” emphasize, or “focus on,” in your life. Think of people saying, “The Mayor gave a speech today, and he stressed how important it is that we improve the quality of  downtown lifestyle.” In this example, the Mayor put emphasis on a topic.  He made it important.

So how can you imitate that?  What do you want to make important?  How do you want your life to be? Do you want to spend your life responding to annoyances? To Discover The Secret Energized You, it is vital that you become an Energy Manager in your life instead of managing the stress around you.

2.  Live By the UpBeat Living Energy Equation^sm

Now that you are focusing and emphasizing, you’ll find The UpBeat Living Energy Formula is simple yet powerful:   ADD POSITIVE STRESS TO GET MORE ENERGY, AND ADD NEGATIVE STRESS TO GET LESS ENERGY.  We have less overall energy with more negatives in our day and more overall energy by adding positives to our days and our lives. Negative stress makes us tired, and positive stress gives us energy.  So: what are some positives you could add to your life?

If you aren’t convinced yet, that stress can create either disease or wellness, here are some of the many potential negative health effects of negative stress, if it is allowed to go uncontrolled for too long:  mental distress,loss of concentration, depression, crabbiness, emotional outbursts, physical pains, illnesses, aging, shorter lifespan, and even death.

One emotion that has been proven seriously damaging to our health is anger. In biomedical studies announced in 1995, The Heartmath Institute learned that persons who hold an angry thought of their choosing for only five minutes have seven nervous system factors depressed for six hours. The factors are functions of a part of the nervous system which controls the body’s immune system. Therefore, we know anger damages the immune system. And how many of us, when we have a really hot, angry thought going, limit ourselves to only five minutes?

It is vital that we learn to see things differently and respond differently, or learn to discharge anger. Some simple discharge techniques will be covered later in this series.  You may be surprised at how enjoyable these methods can be.

Consider journalling out your thoughts about the types of stress causes and effects you have in your life.  What’s going on for you, and what are you focusing on?   It’s your life.

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● Kebba Buckley Button is a corporate stress management trainer and the author of the award-winning book, Discover The Secret Energized You, and the 2012 book, Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core.  She also has a natural healing practice and is an ordained minister.

● Your comments are welcome!

● Get these articles by email– just click the Subscribe Free option in the right column.

● Reach the writer at kebba@kebba.com .

UpBeat Living: Stress vs. Energy

Tags

energy, exhausted, fatigue, Feeling energized, Negative stress, Positive stress, stress, Stress Management, vitality

© 2013 Kebba Buckley Button.  World Rights Reserved.

Photo by Microsoft

Do you want to enjoy your life more? Would you enjoy things more if you had more energy? Life today is filled with stress that most of us cannot avoid. Many people are very tired or sick from constant “stress,” and they know it. Others have stress they may not recognize but which is the beginning of high blood pressure, heart disease, ulcers, cancer, diabetes, and other expensive health problems. Energy, wellness, and stress are intimately connected. If you would like to start experiencing less stress and more energy and wellness, read on.

 

Here is a trick question: do you think you would get more out of life if you had less stress? Most would say yes. But not all stress is the same. There is negative stress and there is positive stress. Negative stress is sometimes known as distress, and positive stress has been called eustress. It’s the negative stress that steals your energy! Webster’s New World Dictionary says stress is “strain; specifically force that strains or deforms; mental or physical tension; urgency, pressure, etc., causing this.” Does that sound too familiar? It is the frustration, disappointment, and resistance that wear us down and help us feel bad: the too-long task list, the difficult people, the bad breaks, the information we get that is different than what we want. We call the latter “bad news.”

 

In contrast, positive stress gives you energy, good feelings, and health. Does positive stress sound like an oxymoron? It’s also known as “stimulus,” “fun,” “creativity,” “excitement,” and even “adventure.” This is the set of positive forces that work, or that we operate, in our lives to shape desired outcomes in ourselves, our days, our careers, our relationships.

 

Imagine comparing the winning Lotto numbers with the ticket in your hand and finding that the numbers match. Your heart rate picks up and races, just as in negative-stress reactions. Your underarms and hands may sweat. Maybe you feel lightheaded or your stomach feels strange. Guess what? These are the same symptoms as when you got that audit announcement with a $5000 tax bill from IRS! Only this time, with positive stress, you have endorphins, compounds your brain releases that reduce pain and make you feel wonderful. You have a jump in DHEA, the master hormone. Your sense of well-being goes up sharply. Now you have the chemistry of happiness supporting the factual good news. You have just experienced an extreme dose of positive stress.

 

Now here is the super news: you can deliberately add positive stress to your life to counter negative stress. Get vigorous exercise. Set up rewards for yourself for meeting goals. Join fun competitions like playing softball or board games or Nintendo. Each of these requires commitment and effort and therefore is a stressor, but a positive one with great rewards. Tired of fighting the monster called Stress? Take a break from the concept of monster fighting. Save that resistance effort and add positive stress to your day and your life. The negative stress will seem—and be—much less potent. You’ll have more energy, feel better, and have a new investment in wellness. Start now!

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● Kebba Buckley Button is a corporate stress management trainer and the author of the award-winning book, Discover The Secret Energized You, and the 2012 book, Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core.  She also has a natural healing practice and is an ordained minister.

● Your comments are welcome!

● Get these articles by email– just click the Subscribe Free option in the right column.

● Reach the writer at kebba@kebba.com .