Food Stress: A Little Levity on Healthy Eating

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Eating right, Effective living, Feeling energized, Food Stress, Health, Humor, Kebba Buckley Button, lighten up, stress, UpBeat Living

© 2016 Kebba Buckley Button, M.S., O.M., World Rights Reserved.

Do you ever feel like there are so many rules for eating that you never enjoy a meal or snack anymore?  With so many experts and so-called “gurus” giving pointers, do you ever feel like you’re in Food Jail, boxed in by too much conflicting advice about dieting and exercise?  How are you supposed to be in Upbeat Living, if you aren’t allowed to enjoy food and beverages?  If this sounds like you, then the following interview with Dr. Hart A. Tack may provide some comic relief.  A few years ago, this interview circulated the Internet, interviewer unknown.

Dreamstime

Q: Doctor, I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that’s it…  don’t waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually.  Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that’s like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster.  Want to live longer?  Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies.  What does a cow eat?   Hay and corn.   And what are these?  Vegetables.  So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.   Need grain?   Eat chicken.   Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable).   And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A:  No, not at all.  Wine is made from fruit.  Brandy is distilled wine. That means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way.   Beer is also made out of grain.  So have a cup now and then!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one.  If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can’t think of a single one, sorry.  My philosophy is: No pain…good!

Q:  Aren’t fried foods bad for you?
A:  Nonsense.  Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil.  In fact, they’re permeated in it.  How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q:  Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q:  Is chocolate bad for me?
A:  HELLO: Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It’s the best feel-good food around!

Q:  Is swimming good for your figure?
A:  If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q:  Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A:  Hey!  ‘Round’ is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
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I hope this piece gave you a chuckle.  Now, for real food advice, and pointers you can really use to feel your best, read the next two articles and generally look around this blog.  Or send your questions to Kebba Buckley Button at kebba@kebba.com .

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Energy – Peace – Meditation

 

 

• Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert.  She also has a natural healing practice and is an ordained minister. She is the author of the award-winning book, Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), plus the 2013 book, Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core, Second Edition(http://tinyurl.com/mqg3uvc). Her newest book is Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine, available through her office.  Just email SacredMeditation@kebba.com. 
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UpBeat Living: A Christian Puppy

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Bible, laugh, Laughing, lighten up, smile, smiling

© 2013 Kebba Buckley Button.  World Rights Reserved.

Photo by Fotolia

It is good for all of us to lighten up sometimes.  In fact, it’s good for all of us to lighten up at regular intervals.  The body and brain work much better when we take a break and smile and laugh every day.  The Bible, in the book of Ecclesiastes agrees.  It says (Ecc 3:1), “[T]o everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under Heaven…(Ecc 3:4)  A time to weep , and a time to laugh ; a time to mourn , and a time to dance.”  In other words, there are purposes, as well as times, for lightening up.  So in that spirit, today UpBeat Living is sharing this story found circulating the Internet.  The author is unknown.  Hopefully, this story will give you a smile—it’s time!

A Baptist couple decide that they want to get a dog.  As they are walking down the street in town, they notice that a sign in the pet shop is advertising “Christian Puppies.” Their interest piqued, they go inside.

“How do you know they’re Christian puppies?”

“Watch,” says the owner, as he takes one of the dogs and says, “Fetch the Bible.” The dog runs over to the desk, and grabs the Bible in its mouth and returns. Putting the Bible on the floor, the owner says, “Find Psalm 23.” The dog flips pages with its paw until he reaches the right page, and then stops. Amazed and delighted, the couple  purchase the dog and head home.

That evening, they invite some friends over and show them the dog, having him run through his Psalm 23 routine. Impressed, one of the visitors asks “Does he also know ‘regular’ commands?”

“Gee, we don’t know. We didn’t ask,” replies the husband.

Turning to the dog, he says, “Sit.” The dog sits. He says, “Lie down.” The dog lies down. He says “Roll over.” The dog rolls over.

He says “Heel.” The dog runs over to him, jumps up on the sofa, puts both paws on the owner’s forehead and bows his head.

“Oh look!” the wife exclaims. “He’s PENTECOSTAL!”

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● Kebba Buckley Button is a Master’s Degree scientist, a minister, and the award-winning author of  the 2012 book, Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core (http://tinyurl.com/abd47jr), and also Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br).  She also has a natural healing and stress management practice and is a celebrated public speaker.

 

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