Healthy Happy Loving Life: Dumping Guilt and Worry

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Feeling energized, Guilt, Healthy Happy Loving Life, Kebba Buckley Button, The life you want, worry, your best life

© 2022  Kebba Buckley Button, MS, OM.  World Rights Reserved.

I seek to learn more about happiness and fulfillment all time, and to share about happiness and fulfillment with my clients and cohorts.  One of the most profound ideas I ever learned was long ago, from reading a book by psychologist Dr. Wayne Dyer, Your Erroneous Zones.  The idea is that you can not live at any moment other than the Present.  Wayne weaves this principle through a chapter of Your Erroneous Zones, in the guise of Chapter 5:  The Useless Emotions: Guilt and Worry.

Wayne explains that guilt is for what we may have messed up in the Past, and worry is for what we may mess up or encounter in the Future.  But back to this now-living thing.  After reading this chapter, I began to observe my immediate environment more.  I started being more aware of my Present, practicing really being present to my Present.  I have enjoyed life more ever since, because I began paying attention to my Now Life, rather than letting my thoughts run through, for example, my day at the office, while I was driving.

Wayne writes:

You see examples of guilt and worry everywhere, in virtually everyone you meet.  The world is populated with folks who are either feeling horrible about something that they shouldn’t have done or dismayed about things that might or might not happen.  You are probably no exception.  If you have large worry and guilt zones, they must be exterminated, spray-cleaned and sterilized forever.  Wash out those little “w” and “g” bugs that infest so many sectors of your life.

Guilt and worry are perhaps the most common forms of distress in our culture.  With guilt you focus on a past event, feel dejected or angry about something that you did or said, and use up your present moments being occupied with feelings over the past behavior.  With worry, you use up those valuable nows, obsessing about a future event.  Whether you’re looking backward or forward, the result is the same.  You’re throwing away the present moment.

Play around with this notion a little each day.  Practice bringing yourself back to the here and now, when your thoughts wander too much into the past and the future.  Especially if you are in guilt or worry.  And let me know what you experience.  And that will be you, ever more HHLL!

Then that will be you, ever more Healthy, Happy, and Loving Life^sm!

In my daily series this month, I hope to strongly convince you that positive living is the way to be, and that it results in greater health and happiness and joy.  Plus, it’s more fun to live this way!  And that would be me and you, shaping our lives anew, ever more Healthy Happy and Loving Life^sm!

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Kebba Buckley Button is a stress solutions expert, holistic guide, and award-winning author who celebrates life.  She has a longtime energy healing practice and is an ordained minister. Among her books are: Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), Inspirations for Peace Within:  Quotes and Images to Uplift and Inspire, and Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine.  The books are available on Amazon and through Kebba’s office.   To email us, kebba@kebba.com .

Books by Kebba Buckley Button

Healthy Happy Loving Life: Some Mistakes Can Be Corrected

Tags

apologizing, choices, energy, Feng Shui, Guilt, mistakes, stress, Stress Management

© 2022 Kebba Buckley Button.  World Rights Reserved.

-Image by megapixl

From the time we were very young, we have understood the power of “OOPS!”  Sometimes tiny children, who otherwise only know the word “NO”, have caught onto the idea of “OOPS!”, the thing that is a mistake.  Sometimes the glass of juice is knocked over.  Sometimes the cat goes in the garbage can.  Sometimes candy gets melded with a small toy, and the toy can’t operate right now, with all that sticky goodness all over it.  We parent types spin around fast when we hear a tiny voice saying “OOPS!” or even “UH_OH!”  Those are our clues to come running and fix the mistake.

However, for adults, we may sometimes make mistakes we don’t even realize are mistakes.  I will share two of mine now.  Fortunately, I realized they were mistakes!

I was visiting my mother in Denver, while she had some serious surgery.  I was treating her with energy healing, ahead of and after the surgery, to shorten the recovery time–which worked!  I was staying in her house, for a week, while she was in the hospital 3 minutes away.  MISTAKE #1:  I realized Mom had a magazine photo cutout, taped to her bedroom wall, slightly rumpled, of polar bears relaxing together.  I thought it would look so much nicer in a frame.  So out of love and good intentions, I purchased a frame and put the relaxing polar bears in it (as below- original photographer unknown).  I then found what I thought was a great spot, and I placed the framed photo there.  I was so pleased!

But when Mom came home, and I proudly showed her my gift of love, she said, “but before, they were right where I could see them every morning when I woke up.  They lifted my day.”  OOPS!  Fortunately, I was able to not only apologize and explain myself, but to correct this mistake.  And after Mom passed, the Estate gave me the polar bears. Now they are in my bedroom, and I see them, with love, when I wake up each morning.

During that same week of Mom’s surgery, I made MISTAKE #2, which revolved around furniture.  Sometimes, you cannot repair a mistake, but you can apologize.  Mom’s house was very clean and neat.  I knew it was going on the market soon.  So, being familiar with Feng Shui, I began absent-mindedly adjusting the positions of the living room chairs.  They had been placed to roughly form a social square, but at strange angles.  I started correcting them to face in the 8 Feng Shui Directions, and I got into a snarl.  I got to a point where two lamps could no longer be plugged in, so there was no local lighting in that area.  OH maybe that’s why the arrangement had been done the way it had?  And there were a couple of other problems I created with my well-meaning, helpful efforts.  I tried to put the furniture back and simply could not restore the strange angles.  OOPS!  I did the best I could, but I felt terribly guilty.  I was due back at the hospital, and I confessed all to Mom, saying I was out of line and I was SO SORRY.  I was astonished that she waved her hand casually and said, “oh, that’s fine—don’t worry about it.”  She really was unconcerned.  Whew!

By the way, I did a clearly Good Thing that week.  I found the correct color paint in the basement and repainted a wall that somehow was only half painted.  Score 1 for helpfulness!

So when you make a mistake, do you admit it and try to fix it?  And apologize?  If you don’t do these things, you’ll feel guilty.  And guilt depresses the parasympathetic nervous system for hours after one guilty thought!  So handle it as well as you can, for both good relationships and good health.  And that will be you, ever more Healthy Happy and Loving Life^sm!

In my daily series this month, I hope to strongly convince you that positive living is the way to be, and that it results in greater health and happiness and joy.  Plus, it’s more fun!  And that would be me and you, shaping our lives anew, ever more Healthy Happy and Loving Life^sm!

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Kebba Buckley Button is a stress/energy management expert, holistic healer, and award-winning author who celebrates life.  She has a longtime natural healing practice and is an ordained minister. Among her books are: Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), Inspirations for Peace Within:  Quotes and Images to Uplift and Inspire, and Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine.  The books are available on Amazon and through Kebba’s office.   They are also available in Scottsdale, Arizona, at the Franciscan Renewal Center bookstore and at the bookstore at St. Barnabas on the Desert Episcopal Church. Or simply email us to order:  kebba@kebba.com .  Thank you!

Books by Kebba Buckley Button

Gliding Into Your Fabulous New Year

Tags

change, Effective living, exhaustion, goals, Guilt, Negative stress, resolutions, stress

 

© 2015  Kebba Buckley Button, MS, OM.  World Rights Reserved.

© Daniele Depascale-Fotolia

So it’s a whole fresh new year—a blank slate to be written upon. Happy New Year 2015! Whoops (sound of brakes screeching)! Are you happy? How do you feel right now? If you need to move the ice pack off your head before you can operate the keyboard, that’s okay. I’ll wait. Open your iPad or your iPhone Notes app, or get out that pen and paper. Let’s take just 5 minutes together, or more, if you find this interesting. Today is the perfect day to ask yourself some questions:

• Is your body comfortable, your heart full, your mind clear and at ease, your spirit at peace? No one is going to see your answers unless you choose to share, so jot down key words, cryptic phrases, or even write out your feelings at length.
• And what about your life and livingness? Do you have the relationships you want? Do you feel loved?
• Is money working for you the way/s you would like?
• Are you and the Divine on friendly terms?
• What about your environment? Does it look pleasant to you? Does the flow work for you? Or is it dull and messy, the closets overflowing and files impossible to navigate?
• Today, how does your life look, compared to what you envisioned on January 1^st a year ago?

 

Notice I have not yet used the R-word. I want you to forget the guilt and forget being hard on yourself. Most say we should jump powerfully into our new year with a renewed sense of discipline and determination. Today, as a stress management expert, I’m supposed to talk enthusiastically about goals and resolutions, why they work and don’t work, blah blah blah. But we can cover those tomorrow. And please come back for that piece. As usual, my recommendations don’t go where others usually go. I want your life and work to be as painless and as satisfying as possible.

 

So for today, please forget all the resolutions you made a year ago. Forget how you’ve been eating and drinking and not-exercising the last several weeks. Forget what the scale said this morning. (You had to look, didn’t you?) Today, you are behind on last year’s idealized ideas of who and how you and your life should be. Some of you are feeling really guilty about the gap. Guilt depresses your parasympathetic nervous system and leaves you more open to illness, so it’s the worst strategy to nurture your guilt.

“Guilt is anger directed at ourselves.”

~ Peter McWilliams

 

May I boldly suggest you stop guilting yourself right now? Instead, today, do what your body-mind-heart-spirit system needs: gentle transition from holiday health into the vigor you want and need for a powerful New Year. Do these things today, and continue this week:

• Drink lots of extra filtered water. This detoxes.
• Eat less sweet stuff today. Sweetness is yin and makes you yin: swollen, weak, slow and quiet.
• If you can, walk for 20 minutes or tread on your treadmill, at walking speed, for 20 minutes. More detox.
• Schedule some energy therapy like Jin Shin Jyutsu ® for balancing. This can eliminate the aches and unclarity.
• Take some time in Nature. This pumps up your master hormone, DHEA, making you stronger and more resilient. The effect is immediate. An upcoming article will expand on this amazing phenomenon.
• If you like God, pray, or just find a quiet place and moment, and talk. You may be wonderfully surprised at what you hear.
• Start a journal, in your iPad or the like, your iPhone notes section, or in a disguised document on your computer. As you finish reading this article, take 5 minutes to write down some of your realizations. Notice how much lighter you feel?

“It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution.”

~ Oscar Wilde

 

I would like you to enjoy your New Year! And to start making the most of it, consider gliding into it gently. Forget the advice to jump in forcefully. Create a transition from the Holidays, treat yourself kindly, and your pzazz will be back in mere days. Now: Happy (and Fabulous) New Year!

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Energy, Peace, Meditation

 

 

• Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert.  She also has a natural healing practice and is an ordained minister. She is the author of the award-winning book, Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), plus the 2013 book, Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core, Second Edition(http://tinyurl.com/mqg3uvc ). Her newest book is Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine, available through her office. Just email SacredMeditation@kebba.com.
• For an appointment or to ask Kebba to speak for your group: bookings@kebba.com .