© 2022 Kebba Buckley Button, MS, OM. World Rights Reserved. http://www.kebba.com
Ron and Kebba Button. Image by Judy Mangino.
Today marks the milestone of one year since my life became ridiculous. One year ago, I suddenly became a chemo patient, a widow, and a home flood survivor. My husband was 19 years older than me, and he preferred not to have any medical help. As he had been very ill, I was not surprised when he began vomiting blood. There is no sight like 6 buff paramedics in your front hallway, each holding strange boxes and parcels of equipment. They quickly determined Hunky Husband needed to go immediately to a certain hospital– the nearest, and a fantastic emergency/trauma center. He would never come home again.
My identity as wife changed to my identity as widow in days. Most of the time I was going through chemo, I was a widow. I had his wedding band resized for me, and I wore it all the time. But now, stepping over the threshold into my new life, it no longer works to define myself in relation to that chapter of my life. It no longer works to define myself by the post-surgical pain, the chemo pain, or the pain of mourning. My husband and I each did our best in the number of years we had together. It’s time to bless and release those years. Now it’s time for me to take care of myself and do and be what I am called to do and be.
For me, as a person of faith, I saw God was clearing the decks for me to move into my New Life. It hasn’t been easy. But there was one direction in which to move: forward.
I am so grateful for the staffs of the facilities that treated my husband, and the Mayo Clinic, which has been treating me. I am grateful for the friends who took me to frequent appointments and to pick up my husband’s ashes. I am grateful for all those who helped me celebrate Hunky Husband’s life, on his 88th birthday, in September. I am grateful to my writer friends in the Ultimate Blog Challenge, who gave my life rhythm during the August, November, January, April, and (now) July blog challenges. Writing has been great therapy! So great for keeping the mind and heart fresh! And the friendships have bolstered me more than you may all know. I am so grateful for everyone who helped me, prayed for me, sent kind notes, included me in events, and rushed to hug me.
I am especially grateful for my husband’s son, who teamed with me to oversee my husband’s care in his last few weeks. Also for my Hospice counselor friend who gives me regular grief counseling, keeping my perspective ticking.
After my Ridiculous Year, I am a deeper person. I laugh if someone tries to be rude– I just don’t care. Such things are not “of me”, and they do not matter. I am more calmly caring, my rough edges worn away by pain and trials. Every good thing seems so sweet. I greet my house when I come home: hello, sweet house! I savor the friendships that have become more deep and textured in the last year.
I am grateful for the love of friends, some of whom sent cards, and some whom texted their love and support and prayers daily. I am grateful for my home prayer team, the Order of Saint Luke (OSL), whose love and compassion and prayers kept me going when I could hardly walk, and since. I am grateful for relatives understanding I needed tons of extra rest and quiet, not gatherings and calls. I am grateful to the Masonic and Shrine families, who declared their undying love and support for me, together with permanent invitations to all events.
I am grateful for the beautiful skies, sunny days and rainy ones. I treasure the miraculous sky photos I am able to capture. I give thanks for many goofy little things, like a perfectly ripe avocado, California rolls, and a new Mickey Mouse mug brought by friends from Disney Orlando. I am grateful for my conversations with blogger friends, their articles taking me where I would not have thought to go during these months of shock and juggling widowy paperwork. I am grateful that my healing clients are coming back; I love serving them. I love this one-year milestone and all of my progress. It is a huge blessing to feel my vitality and enthusiasm coming back. I have taken my wedding rings off, for embarking on this new time in my life. My Ridiculous Year is giving way, with grace, to my New Beautiful Life.
I had set the goal of not carrying this story beyond one year. So this piece is the end of my telling this story. Now I focus on my health and re-setting my home, and enjoying my life and loved ones, my work and my clients. And that is me, shaping the new life I want, ever more Healthy Happy and Loving Lifesm!
In my daily series this month, I hope to strongly convince you that positive living is the way to be, and that it results in greater health and happiness and joy. Plus, it’s more fun! And that would be me and you, shaping our lives anew, ever more Healthy Happy and Loving Lifesm!
Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert, holistic healer, and award-winning author who celebrates life. She has a longtime natural healing practice and is an ordained minister. Among her books are: Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), Inspirations for Peace Within: Quotes and Images to Uplift and Inspire, and Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine. The books are available on Amazon and through Kebba’s office. They are also available in Scottsdale, Arizona, at the Franciscan Renewal Center bookstore and at the bookstore at St. Barnabas on the Desert Episcopal Church. Or simply email us to order: email@example.com . Thank you!
Books by Kebba Buckley Button