Fear Stress: Four Steps for Fighting Fear

Tags

David Ault, Dr.Susan Jeffers, Fear, fear stress, Feel the fear and do it anyway, stress, UpBeat Living

© 2016 Kebba Buckley Button, M.S., O.M.    World Rights Reserved.

 

We all know Fear Stress!  Fear is a basic and familiar feeling.  Fear is a useful emotion, if you’re a caveperson being chased by a large animal that wants to kill you.  Fear stimulates, creating temporarily greater strength and lesser sensitivity.   But too much of that fear chemistry is uncomfortable and causes us to overreact in modern environments, like an office or social group.  It can also cause burnout.  When we have ongoing or recurring fears, according to Dr. Marc Siegel, this “has the same effect on the human body that running an engine persistently from eighty to 100 miles per hour has on a car.”  Serious illnesses are likely to occur in the run-down person. These may include heart disease, cancer, stroke, and depression.

Are you afraid of world situations, of a particular person, of failure, of flying?  Would you like to feel less fear?   Fortunately, much is now known about solutions for fear.  Here are just a few first steps.

1.  If you have a general fear of moving forward or trying something new, remind yourself often that you must change your thinking and actions to get changed results.  So stretch yourself and stretch your comfort zone frequently.  Try posting inspirational quotes, such as this from Rev. David Ault:  “Ships are safe in port, but that’s not what ships are for.”  And Gary Kivela, a retired executive of Honeywell Aerospace, has said:  “If you want to see new territory you got to be willing to lose sight of camp.”  Only you can determine how far you will go, against your fears that would keep you safe—and unaccomplished.
2. If you have specific fears like fear of flying, try the classic method of desensitization, as in the work of the late Dr. Susan Jeffers, author of Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway available on Amazon.  For more inspiration from the work of Dr. Susan Jeffers, visit http://www.susanjeffers.com.
3. For any kind of fear, especially when your chest feels tight, you can use the body’s circuitry, massaging your forefinger, especially the segment between your hand and second knuckle.  No one will notice, and you will feel more relaxed.
4. Would you like to try fighting biochemistry with biochemistry?  Drink lots of water when fearful.  Run in place for 2 minutes.  Or, if you have time, use your treadmill for at least 20 minutes, or to the point where you sweat freely.   Now your body is rinsing the fear chemistry out.  Also, try biochemical antidotes, such as the Bach Flower Remedies from any health food store.  These are formulated to neutralize the compounds the body produces for various emotions.  Use Aspen for specific fears, Mimulus for generalized fears, and Walnut for fear of future conditions.  Follow the package directions, using several drops in a small glass of water, or just place several drops under your tongue for 2 minutes.

Fear can help us to respond better in truly dangerous situations.  However, we will have greater wellness, better relationships, and more expanded living, if we use effective tools to manage fears that hold us back.  Add all these tools to your life kit now.  And that’s Upbeat Living^sm!

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Energy – Peace – Meditation

 

 

• Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert.  She also has a natural healing practice and is an ordained minister. She is the author of the award-winning book, Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), plus the 2013 book, Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core, Second Edition(http://tinyurl.com/mqg3uvc). Her newest book is Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine, available through her office.  Just email SacredMeditation@kebba.com. 
• For an appointment or to ask Kebba to speak for your group: calendar@kebba.com .
• Recent changes have made our Facebook likes look low.  Would you click “Like” in the right-hand column?  You’ll get our appreciation and a huge rise in your good karma!

Fear Stress vs. Joy in the Storm

Tags

fear stress, joy, Kebba Buckley Button, peace within, stress, UpBeat Living

© 2016 Kebba Buckley Button, M.S., O.M.  World Rights Reserved.

Almost 5 years ago, I wrote a column called, “Joy in the Storm”.  I argued that, no matter what is going on around you, it is crucial not to give in to a bad attitude or to give up your positive vision.   At the time, a lot of people in the US were depressed and anxious.  I wrote, “As a nation, we are again at a crux.  Gas prices are fairly high, the stock market has hit record lows, foreclosures are still on the rise, and more jobs are being cut.  Hurricanes crippled some areas of our country.  Our national leaders are arguing over more bailouts for the financial and automotive industries.  They still debate what to do next with spending to fight terrorism.  Many are tense and worried, about their own income and investments, as well as about the state of the country.  Many are in outright fear.  In a sense, we are in an emotional storm system.”

Does all that sound familiar?  Yet we survived.  We restructured the mortgage industry and much of Wall Street.  We drilled for oil within the US and brought gasoline prices to half what they were 5 years ago.  The economy is not perfect but is much improved. Lively debates about running the country are taking place in all 50 states, as we consider what the best Presidential candidates are for our upcoming election.

On the dark side, we now face global terror threats and in-country mass shootings on scales we never imagined five years ago.   Millions have lost their homes in the Middle East and Africa.  The European Union, the US, and others are struggling to assist the refugees.  Global weather is shifting and we debate global warming.  Weather systems have brought massive storm destruction to Texas, Missouri, New Mexico, and others.  Floods have destroyed areas of California, as well as areas in the South.  We now deal with challenges that are on a new scale.  Some are asking if we are in the beginning of World War III.  Some ask if this is the Biblical Apocalypse.

But, as was true 5 years ago, this is the very time to work against our fear.  In our health, fear damages the immune system and causes exhaustion.  In relationships, fear makes us brittle, defensive, hesitant to move ahead, and sometimes, it makes us look and sound angry.  Many seem ready to snap.  And that may be exactly why we have so many shooting sprees.  On a national and international level, fear can cause a plummet in the stock markets or a run on the banks, either of which can be disastrous for financial systems.

The truth is that this is the very time to feed our positive feelings.  This is the ideal time to savor every convenience and blessing, being thankful for all the good in our lives.  The body chemistry of gratitude leads to a sense of satisfaction and joy, in essence washing away the biochemistry of fear.  Despite the negative idea storm around us, this is the ideal time to be in touch with the joy in our lives. It is the ideal time to get in touch with our Peace Within.

Goal planners and metaphysics practitioners say it is crucial to hold your intention and your vision of what you want.  Both say thinking negative thoughts leads to more negative occurrences, and holding positive, joyful visions leads to more positive results.  Jesus is quoted, in several books of the Bible, as saying that it is important to stay joyful to get the life results you want.  In John 16:33, Jesus says,

In the world, you have tribulation, but be of good cheer, for I have overcome the world.

Can you have joy in the storm?  Nurture your faith and your Peace Within.  Why not try?  Your life is worth it.  And that’s Upbeat Living!

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Energy – Peace – Meditation

 

 

 

 

 

 

• Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert.  She also has a natural healing practice and is an ordained minister. She is the author of the award-winning book, Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), plus the 2013 book, Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core, Second Edition(http://tinyurl.com/mqg3uvc ). Her newest book is Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine, available through her office.  Just email SacredMeditation@kebba.com. 
• For an appointment or to ask Kebba to speak for your group: calendar@kebba.com .

 

The Stress of Stuck

Tags

Inner Critic, Inner Mentor, Kebba Buckley Button, stuck, stuck and stressed, the stress of stuck, UpBeat Living

© 2016  Kebba Buckley Button, M.S., O.M. World Rights Reserved.  http://www.kebba.com      

                                        

Don’t you hate feeling “stuck”? Maybe you can’t think of which thing to do next, or you’re blocked on a task you know you need to be on.  On a daily or hourly basis, when you feel stuck, you may have trouble starting that 4-hour project or even that 30-minute exercise session.   You are in the Stress of Stuck!

To get unstuck, experts recommend we gather all the right props around us, to help us feel ready and organized for each task.  In addition to the tools and equipment, a mug of a favorite herbal tea, a coffee drink, a water, or a particular soda, may help us feel ready to accelerate into that task.  While I can’t find the research basis yet, many people tell me that starting to eat a handful of M&Ms™ somehow gets them in gear to start grading those papers.  For my clients who can, I recommend running in place for 2 minutes.  This accelerates blood flow and relaxes the shoulder muscles, which releases typical tightening of the neck muscles, thus releasing correct blood flow to the brain and energy within the brain.  This makes the task seem easier and go faster.  Try this before a task you normally dislike, like leaving for work or cleaning the kitchen.  If you can’t run in place, try gently rolling and stretching your shoulders for 2 full minutes.

So, on a larger scale, what holds us back from jumping into new experience?  What keeps us from stepping up to our greatness in new levels?  Is it simply fear?

Recently, I became aware of the concept of Inner Critic, a powerful psyche function that inhibits action.  In a therapy context of Internal Family Systems, the Inner Critic is the dimension of a person’s consciousness that says “you’re not good enough” or “you shouldn’t try that, because you’re not up to it.”  According to Bay Area therapist Bonnie Weiss, the Inner Critic is trying to protect you from embarrassment, failure, and other dynamics, so it should be viewed as your friend.  The Inner Critic is trying to help you live well.  However, by holding you back, the Inner Critic can create the very thing it is trying to prevent: your failure.

Celebrated author Robert Kyosaki has said,

It’s not what you say out of your mouth that determines your life.  It’s what you whisper to yourself that has the most power.

The Inner Critic stands against your Inner Mentor, who is wise and helps you make adult decisions.  The trick is to get to know your inner parts, especially your Inner Mentor, and get them cooperating with each other.  If your Inner Critic is keeping you from walking up to an opportunity and introducing yourself, try this simplified technique:  stretch each leg and each arm briefly, exhale, inhale, and notice the challenge seems more interesting and less intimidating.   Repeat.  Over the longer term, Weiss says, we should also cultivate practices that develop our sense of self, such as journaling, meditation, inviting in witness consciousness, and yoga.

What do you want to step up to in your day or your life?  Why not step up now?  So roll your shoulders, shoulder up, and shoulder on.  Claim your life.  That’s Upbeat Living!

__________________________________________________________________

Energy – Peace – Meditation

 

• Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert.  She also has a natural healing practice and is an ordained minister. She is the author of the award-winning book, Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), plus the 2013 book, Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core, Second Edition(http://tinyurl.com/mqg3uvc ). Her newest book is Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine, available through her office.  Just email SacredMeditation@kebba.com. 
• For an appointment or to ask Kebba to speak for your group: calendar@kebba.com .

Truth Stress: Tell Your Truth Anyway

Tags

Effective living, Fear, Kebba Buckley Button, stress, telling the truth, truth, truth stress

© 2015 Kebba Buckley Button, MS, OM. World Rights Reserved.

 

© iQoncept – Fotolia

 

 

 

 

I don’t normally write about politics, but this week is different. Born and raised in the USA, I have always been surrounded by people deeply committed to free speech. Truth, tempered with kindness and tact, is a fundament of my own writing. In this country, we count on our freedoms. The First Amendment to the Constitution guarantees us both freedom of religion and freedom of expression. As long as the free speech is not promoting terrorism, child pornography, and other destructive things, I think we should all say what we really think—ideally, tempered with an underlying intention of goodwill.

 

So recent attacks on a magazine office in Paris seemed like personal attacks on our way of life. There was no goodwill in this attack, or the attack the same day on the kosher shop in the outskirts of Paris. France is our friend. The French should be able to say what they think. Charlie Hebdo is a French satirical weekly magazine, somewhat parallel to our Mad Magazine. Days ago, their office was violently attacked, and twelve staff died. Al Quaida in the Arabian Peninsula (AQAP) is claiming credit for the attack.

 

The threat or fear of violence should not become an excuse or justification for restricting freedom of speech.

~ Alan Dershowitz

 

Standing together for freedom of speech, many world leaders joined a peace march in Paris that millions attended. Standing strong for their right to continue speaking freely, Charlie Hebdo went on to publish their next issue, and all 3 million copies sold out. They printed 2 million more. Those are apparently selling out. The cover shows an image of Mohammed weeping. Al Quaida’s narrative is that France and the USA are both committed to the destruction of Islam. Nonviolent Muslims don’t believe that narrative and are trying to get out the word that they don’t support Al Quaida. CNN newsman Anderson Cooper said this week that the best thing Christians and Muslims can do to negate Al Quaida’s narrative is to demonstrate mutual friendship.

 

This morning, a delightful letter from Mark Baird, of Anthem, Arizona, was published by the Arizona Republic. Here is the complete letter, reprinted within the use guidelines of the Arizona Republic:

 

            I wonder if I could get a clarification from S.J. Littleton, who in his Wednesday letter contended the staff at Charlie Hebdo had it coming. Does he apply the same standard to Christians as he does to Muslims? Is the predicate for justifiable assault the same for all religions?

            I’ve always felt that the bar for admission to the civilized world should be set at the standard that your invisible, infinitely powerful man in the sky ought to have the power to take a joke, and doesn’t need to have you go out and kill on his behalf.

            The precise fact that your beliefs compel you to act so violently with such little provocation is exactly what makes them worthy of being mocked.

            If you don’t like that rule, don’t live in our society. Go back to your cave for a few centuries and let the rest of us enjoy the comforts of our modern world and the pleasure of being able to talk openly about our beliefs and occasionally laugh at each other’s absurdities.

           ~ Mark Baird

 

Mr. Baird and I share a view that God has a sense of humor. After all, who created laughter and puppies? Why do babies smile?  I’ve never known anyone to lodge a protest against Mad Magazine. They and Saturday Night Live have been doing satire for decades, including religious satire, without violence. Can we all just lighten up a bit?

 

What do you say? Isn’t it still inherently good to speak your truth, aloud or in writing? Shouldn’t you be able to do that? Will you do that? I would like to know what you think.

 

 

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• If you enjoy this post, please click “like” in the FB widget in the right hand column! You’ll have our undying gratitude plus a huge rise in your Good Karma! Due to a recent FB change, our “likes” look low. Thanks for your help!

Energy – Peace – Meditation

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

• Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert.  She also has a natural healing practice and is an ordained minister. She is the author of the award-winning book, Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), plus the 2013 book, Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core, Second Edition(http://tinyurl.com/mqg3uvc ). Her newest book is Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine, available through her office. Just email SacredMeditation@kebba.com.
• For an appointment or to ask Kebba to speak for your group: bookings@kebba.com .

 

UpBeat Living: Spring Forth From “Stuck”

Tags

Fear, Inner Critic, stress, Stress Management, stuck, UpBeat Living

© 2014  Kebba Buckley Button, M.S., O.M.  World Rights Reserved.

iStock.com

Feeling stuck, in small ways or large?  Here are practical ways to get unstuck!

On a daily or hourly basis, when we feel “stuck”, we may have trouble starting that 4-hour project or even that 30-minute exercise session.   Experts recommend we gather all the right props around us, to help us feel ready and organized for each task.  In addition, a mug of a favorite herbal tea, a coffee drink, a water, or a particular soda, may help us feel ready to accelerate into that task.  While I can’t find the research basis yet, many people tell me that starting to eat a handful of M&Ms™ somehow gets them in gear to start grading those papers.  For my clients who can, I recommend running in place for 2 minutes.  This accelerates blood flow and relaxes the shoulder muscles, which releases typical tightening of the neck muscles, thus releasing correct blood flow to the brain and energy within the brain.  This makes the task seem easier and go faster.  Try this before a task you normally dislike, like leaving for work or cleaning the kitchen.  If you can’t run in place, try gently rolling and stretching your shoulders for 2 full minutes.

So, on a larger scale, what holds us back from jumping into new experience?  What keeps us from stepping up to our greatness in new levels?  Is it simply fear?

Consider the concept of the  “Inner Critic”, or “IC”, for a powerful psyche function that inhibits action.  In a therapy context called “Internal Family Systems”, or “IFS”, the IC is the dimension of a person’s consciousness that says “you’re not good enough” or “you shouldn’t try that, because you’re not up to it.”  According to Bay Area therapist Bonnie Weiss, an IFS expert, the IC is trying to protect you from embarrassment, failure, and other dynamics, so it should be viewed as your friend.  The IC is trying to help you live well.  However, by holding you back, the IC can create the very thing it is trying to prevent: your failure.  The IC stands against your “Inner Mentor”, or “IM”, who is wise and helps you make adult decisions.  The trick is to get to know your inner parts, especially your IM, and get them cooperating with each other.  If your IC is keeping you from walking up to an opportunity and introducing yourself, try this simplified technique:  stretch each leg and each arm briefly, exhale, inhale, and notice the challenge seems more interesting and less intimidating.   Repeat.  Over the longer term, Weiss says, we should also cultivate practices that develop our sense of self, such as journaling, meditation, inviting in witness consciousness, and yoga.

What do you want to step up to in your life?  Why not step up now?  So roll your shoulders, shoulder up, and shoulder on.  Claim your life.

__________________________________________________________________

● Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert and the author of the award-winning book, Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), plus the 2013 book, Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core, Second Edition (http://tinyurl.com/mqg3uvc).  She also has a natural healing practice and is an ordained minister.

● Liked this article?  You can buy Kebba’s books:  just click the links!

• Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br). 
• Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core (Second Edition) (http://tinyurl.com/mqg3uvc)             

● Enjoyed this post?  Please click “like” in the FB widget in the right hand column!  You’ll have our undying gratitude plus a huge rise in your Good Karma.

● Please comment!

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● Reach the writer at kebba@kebba.com .

UpBeat Living: What to Do After Boston?

Tags

Boston Marathon, peace within, Peacemaking, personal peace, terrorism, The life you want

© 2013 Kebba Buckley Button.  World Rights Reserved.

Photo by Kebba Buckley Button

By now, you know very well that bombs went off near the Finish Line of the Boston Marathon yesterday.  About 27,000 runners were participating, from most States and from 100 countries.  Many thousands more were watching.  About half had already crossed the Finish Line.  According to CNN, 8-year-old Martin Richard of Boston hugged his dad at the Finish Line.  Then a bomb went off, killing Martin, and seriously injuring his sister and mother.  Martin’s sister lost her leg, and his mother has brain injuries.  Martin lost his life.

Amazingly, massive presence of medical personnel onsite, and ambulances standing by, resulted in the speedy transport of patients to area hospitals.  Several hospitals together treated 176, while 3 died.  About 20 lost limbs, and as of this morning, 3 limbs were potentially being lost.  Dr. George Velhamos, chief of Trauma Surgery at Boston General Hospital, said, “[T]he patients are amazing!”  He said the medical resources at his hospital were virtually limitless, with staff staying for multiple shifts and “pressing through” pleasantly.  One BGH doctor, who had run the Marathon, reported to the hospital, dehydrated, to assist in treating patients.

Video immediately after the bombing showed servicemen in desert camouflage gear already helping to move the injured.  How did they get there instantaneously?  They were already there:  they had been running in the Marathon, with full packs!

Dr. Ron Walls, of Brigham and Women’s Hospital, said that BWH took 31 patients after the Marathon bombing.  In this group there was one amputation and there were 2 limbs at risk, as of this morning.  Impressed with both the patients and his staff, Dr. Walls said, “[T]he more people are challenged, the more they rise.” He also commented that because the hospital was staffed up for race day, and because it was daytime, “we had virtually the entire surgical staff available”.

The wife of the Ohio Secretary of State, Tina Husted, is an elite runner who completed the Marathon well ahead of the bombing.  Interviewed by CNN, she agreed with everyone else that “[T]he medical support at this race is incredible.”  One CNN commentator said there were actually four doctors for every patient on the ground.

Law enforcement was similarly speedy and organized, with the FBI and ATF appearing almost immediately, as the thousands of remaining runners were diverted and offered transport.  Governor Patrick and Boston’s Police Commissioner apparated in minutes and coordinated press briefings.  They said the Mayor was on his way from the hospital; the Mayor arrived in a wheelchair, wearing a suit, with a cast on his foot.  A microphone was already in place at the correct height for the Mayor’s comments.  Established  protocols for municipal emergencies and terrorism were snapped into place, and well-rehearsed connections were made and well-utilized.  The CIA was briefed and the President appeared in a televised message, offering whatever Boston needed.

Within hours, they announced the restricted area was shrinking.  Although the bombings were not expected, the interlocking response teams were ready.  They moved swiftly, smoothly, and expertly, against the effects of vicious bombings.  The damage to  people’s lives and bodies was minimized by the swiftness of the responses.  Now we need to overcome any fear, find our personal peace, and let the experts do what they do so well.

With the experts at work, now what can we all do?   We can do three things.  First, let’s pray thanks for all those expert responders and the incredible work they do.  Second, let’s keep praying for the victims, the loved ones, those who saw horrible things, and those who are still treating the victims.  Third, LET’S FLY OUR FLAGS and show we’re more united than ever.  The FBI Agent-In-Charge in Boston said, the best thing we can do is go about our lives and show the terrorists we don’t fear them.  We love this country, and we intend to live our lives.  So FLY YOUR FLAGS, wear your flag pins, put those flag decals on your car and window.

Boston, we’re with you!  More united than ever.

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● If you enjoy this post, please click “like” in the FB widget in the right hand column.  You’ll have our undying gratitude plus a huge rise in your Good Karma.

 

● Kebba Buckley Button is a Master’s Degree scientist, a minister, and the award-winning author of  the 2012 book, Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core (http://tinyurl.com/abd47jr), and also Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br).  She also has a natural healing and stress management practice and is a celebrated public speaker.

 

● Your comments are welcome!

 

● Get these articles by email– just click the Subscribe Free option in the right column.

 

● Reach the writer at kebba@kebba.com .

 

 

UpBeat Living: Responding to the Massacre at Newtown

Tags

Effective living, grateful, Gratitude, Newtown, stress, Stress Management, surviving disaster

© 2012 Kebba Buckley Button.  World Rights Reserved.

Today a young man, who had planned ahead, killed 28 people in and near Newtown, Connecticut.  Adam Lanza apparently killed his mother at home, shooting her in the face.  He then went to the Sandy Hook Elementary School and killed 20 children and 8 faculty, including the much-loved principal.  In minutes, the world of these children was turned upside down.

Soon after Lanza entered the school, around 9 am, teachers and students were astonished to hear the school intercom come on, broadcasting a strong interaction between people, including swearing.  Teachers locked their classroom doors, hid children in cupboards, and in the gym, shielded the children with their bodies.  At least one teacher convinced her class there was a wild animal loose in the school, and that was the reason for cautious behavior.

After police arrived, children were cleared from the classrooms and groups began running to the nearby fire station.  Connecticut State Police began arriving in minutes, since these State Police take their police cars home and everywhere with them, for fastest response.  Today, this paid off handsomely, with an array of  dozens of sedans and trucks arriving, low-set flashing police lights bright.  ATF arrived.  Canine officers arrived.

President Obama made a short, emotional speech.  Connecticut Governor Dan Malloy met with the families.  At this hour, 10 pm Central,  a memorial Mass has already been held, with even the Pope sending a message of comfort.

We are left now with many questions.  What could possibly have been Adam Lanza’s motivation?  What could he possibly have wanted to achieve by shooting all these people, especially children ages 5-10?  Did he plan all along to end his shooting spree by ending his own life?

So how can we respond to the massacre at Newtown?  In several ways.

1. Pray, for the families of those shot today, for the investigators and the counselors, and for all those affected by all similar events.  Keep praying.

2.  Hold Go(o)d Thoughts.  Whether you believe in prayer or not, stay positive and believe that the investigators will answer the questions as fast as possible.  Believe that, with Lanza dead, this can be the last mass shooting in this country.  Are you open to that possibility?  Believe that people can and will heal in time.

3.  Get into the gun control conversation.  Follow the commentary of people like Captain Mark Kelly, astronaut husband of Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords.  Giffords was one of 19 people shot at a Tucson Safeway, almost 2 years ago; 6 of those shooting victims died.  Ask yourself where you are on these issues, and whether different gun control laws could have changed today’s outcome.  Know and speak for your position.

4.  Give thanks and hold your loved ones tight.  You get to spend another holiday season with them.  In some homes, certain chairs are empty this year.

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● Kebba Buckley Button is a corporate stress management trainer and the author of the award-winning book, Discover The Secret Energized You, and the 2012 book, Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core.  She is also an ordained minister.

● Your comments are welcome!

● Get these articles by email– just click the Subscribe Free option in the right column!

● Reach the writer at kebba@kebba.com .

UpBeat Living: Reblog from Marcie Brock: Your thoughts grow the garden of your success– do you want weeds or flowers?

Tags

at choice, Attracting, choices, Inner Critic, Mental equivalents, Positive languaging, Stress Management, The life you want, unstuck

This article was shared by Laura Orsini of Write/Market/Design, under her blog character, “Marcie Brock, Book Marketing Maven.”  The two photos are from the original article.  Enjoy!

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In line at the grocery store yesterday, I overheard a conversation between the clerk and the woman in front of me.  She seemed to be having trouble with the credit card machine until the clerk reassured her it was working properly – albeit a little slowly. “Oh, that’s good. I thought I broke it. That’s usually my job – breaking things.”

YIKES!! My self-sabotage language meter spiked into the red zone! Doesn’t she realize what she’s saying? I almost wondered aloud. If that’s true, it’s no doubt a self-fulfilling prophesy. She tells herself she always breaks things, and lo and behold, she always breaks things.

We’ve talked about how our thoughts and self-talk affect our results before, but I felt compelled to write on it today, because there’s more to this story. As I was getting in my car after purchasing my own groceries, I noticed the same lady pulling out in something of a beat-up sedan. There, on the back of her car was this bumper sticker:

Whatever I might have surmised previously, the language I heard this woman use in the checkout lane wasn’t an anomaly. She probably spends her life wondering why nothing goes her way, and yet she wears the reason right there on her rear bumper: she creates that for herself!

What does this have to do with your success as an author, publisher, speaker, and expert in your field? EVERYTHING! If you’re not seeing the success you want and feel you deserve, a good place to start your examination of why is in your self-talk.What are you telling yourself, day in and day out? Are you constantly reenforcing the message that you’re a great

author and people will love reading your books – or are you sending yourself little digs like, “Who’s going to want to read this anyway? There are a hundred other books on this subject all better than mine”?

The thing is, we all do it. Even those of us most practiced at positive self-talk occasionally fall into the trap of self-doubt and self-sabotaging messaging to ourselves. The thing to do about it is recognize it, and then make every effort to reprogram your neural pathways to create positive messages instead. One of the best ways you can do that is by working with a coach, mentor, or other unbiased individual who will help you notice your patterns and adjust them.  Once you start making these adjustments for yourself, however, be ready to begin noticing all the other people out there who are still trapped in self-discouraging language.

Coaching can be viewed one of two ways: as an expense or as an investment. I know for a fact that the $3,000+ I spent on coaching this last calendar year has moved me forward substantially, in terms of my own expectations for myself, as well as in my results.

You certainly don’t have to hire a coach to see positive results, but doing so will help you cut your learning curve to a fraction of what it might be on your own. And if you look at almost every successful person you admire, chances are they have a coach who supports and encourages them to keep on making progress.

I read a quote yesterday that really struck me, a new take on an old aphorism: Don’t believe everything you hear think.

If your thoughts haven’t been so empowering lately, I encourage you to shake them up a bit so you start to see different results!

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● Looking for better skills at positivizing language and creating positive outcomes?  Kebba Buckley Button can help you!  Call our office at 480-250-1177 or email kebba@kebba.com.

● Kebba Buckley Button is a corporate stress management trainer and the author of the award-winning book, Discover The Secret Energized You, and the 2012 book, Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core.

● Your comments are welcome!

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● Reach the writer at kebba@kebba.com .