Healthy Happy Loving Life: Second Day Back

Tags

Enjoying life, Healthy Happy Loving Life, Natural pain solutions

Welcome (back) to the new version of my long-running blog about being as healthy and happy as you can be, enjoying life as much as you can!  I started blogging in 2009, when social media was young.  I took a class on Facebook, Twitter, and blogging, and it was a mind-blower.  At first, I was spending 20 hours a week, learning and practicing my new skills.  I learned photo selection and manipulation, and how to get those pesky titles, subtitles, and captions in all the right places.  Now I’m fast at creating what I want.

I’m using the Ultimate Blog Challenge this month (look for the group of that name on Facebook)– one article per day– to motivate myself to get back in the driver’s/writer’s seat.  There was a lot of family business the last several years, and I just couldn’t keep up my weekly articles and newsletters.  For a couple of years, I did write monthly articles for an authors’ blog.  If you’re interested in seeing those, I will be making the collection available as a pdf ebook.  Now, a shift in family needs is allowing me to spend more time on what I’m called to do: consulting, healing, and writing.  During the last few years, I did continue teaching and speaking.  I finished two full-color browsing books:  Inspirations for Peace Within and Sacred Meditation.  My next planned book will likely be on stress and burnout.  Stay tuned!

Some people wonder how I got into the field of natural medicine.  While I don’t believe in dwelling on the negative, I will share my story briefly here.  In my twenties, I was a serious, focused workaholic engineering manager.  I published mightily; I had quite a publications list.  One night I realized the large knuckles of my hands were burning badly.  I dismissed it, since my mother had first experienced mild arthritis around the same age.  Mom had never done anything about her arthritis, other than take anti-inflammatories and supplements.  I look a lot like Mom and have had much the same metabolism.  So I thought, no biggie.  I have what she had.

Wrong!  Within a year, I was burning from head to toe, and aspirin wouldn’t touch it.  There was a terrible stiffness with the burning.  On the worst day, it took me 2 hours to turn over to reach a telephone, to call in sick.  I thought I might have about a dozen years before I would be in a wheelchair.  There would be no marriage, family, or children.  I took up yoga and jogging.  I worked and experimented and prayed. I continued my career in hydrology and engineering.

In the eighth year of my research and efforts, a miracle was revealed: I had beaten it!!  I was at a party, when a friend started talking about Her Arthritis like it was her lover.  After being introduced to her new diagnosis, she bought a new car for it.  We had been going on group campouts.  She bought all new camping equipment for her companion-disease.  She bought new furniture for her companion-disease.  I listened as generously as I could.  Finally, I heard myself say, “well, when I had horrible crippling arthritis… I did (these things to beat it)…”  I was so shocked to hear myself speak of the horrible burning condition in the past tense, that I can’t tell you what the friend replied.  Or even what my sharings were.  I do remember her frowning at me.  We were both struggling to be polite.

Within a couple of years, I was so involved in natural- and energy medicine, and natural pain solutions, that I was bored with hydrology and engineering.  I gave notice and left the engineering firm I was working for. I opened my own holistic healing practice and have now been at it for over 30 years.  I have helped many, many people with energy healing, dietary adjustments, intuitive guidance, positive languaging, relationship strategies, and understanding the “why” of their physical discomforts.

I invite you to join me on this journey of seeking happiness, health, and a love of life!

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Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert and award-winning author.  She also is an ordained minister and has a natural healing practice. Among her books are: Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br),and Inspirations for Peace Within:  Quotes and Images to Uplift and Inspire, and Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine.  The books are available on Amazon and through Kebba’s office.   To email us, kebba@kebba.com .

Books by Kebba Buckley Button

 

The Effective Author: The Power of Smartphone Notes

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author stress, Effective Author, Kebba Buckley Button, Smartphone notes, stress

 

© 2015  Kebba Buckley Button, MS, OM.  World Rights Reserved.

At lectures, some of you have already been taking notes on your iPad mini or your laptop.  But then how do you organize the notes so you can retrieve them?  At last, I have developed a system.  Smartphone users, rejoice!  It’s time to cultivate your smartphone “Notes” app!  First, open that app.  Then create some categories.  I have about 20.  Now open different folders of notes with a word in capitals that is the category name: QUOTES, LIST, COLUMNS, NOTES (these are notes that don’t have their own folders), MYTOPMENTOR, MY UPCOMINGBOOK.   These first words in each NOTES folder will show as titles of the different Notes folders, when you first open the app.

Of course, substitute the actual name of your top mentor, for notes from their TV show, teleseminars, and such. And substitute the actual name of your upcoming book.  Now, every time you need to make notes, you’ll add them to that folder in Notes on your smartphone. At the end of each lecture or inspiration, use the “send it out” function and email that category of Notes to yourself.  Then, when QUOTES or LIST arrives in your laptop email, you’ll select the text and drop it into a Word document.  You can also select just a section of your QUOTES notes, for example, and drop it into an email to yourself for insertion in a column you’re writing.

Here’s a great example of the power of your smartphone.  Recently, during a power outage, I was on deadline and had run down my laptop’s power.  I just hated to revert to paper and pen by flashlight, because then I would have to keyboard in the whole article when the power came up.  But my smartphone had plenty of juice and a backup power unit.  So, I selected and copied sections of my COLUMNS Notes, created a new folder of Notes, and labeled it with the name of the column.  Then I wrote an entire column within that folder, yes, still on the smartphone.  (Apparently there is no limit, or there is a generous limit, on the number of words you can have in one Notes folder.)  Then I copied the column text, pasted it into an email, and emailed the column to myself.  Soon the power came back on, and I was able to use Word to format and post the column online.

In just one example of the power of notes, my QUOTES collection has now grown to over 80 pages.  It’s a Word document filed under BOOKS.  I have it divided by topic, and each topic is highlighted in a box.  The topics are in alphabetical order, except GENERAL, at the top of the document, and UNSORTED, at the end.  When I want a quote for a column or book, I can easily find one in my own collection.  Or, I can do some research, find new cool quotes, and add to the collection.  I often add quotes from live events I’m attending.

So now, are your notes more organized?  Are you at least inspired?  If you still have a pile or some notes lost in your To Be Filed stacks, keep your spirits up!  The more you create notes in your smartphone or computer, the fewer pieces of paper you’ll have, and the easier it will be to pull a few, transcribe them, and file them in your computer.

Until next time, keep gathering your paper notes and practicing with your smartphone and laptop.  Those notes are still the lifeblood of your writing.  Next time we’ll talk about how to organize the notes in your computer, saving you hundreds of hours of frustration as you go along.  My goal is to show you how to reduce author stress and help you to become a completely Effective Author!  Questions?

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Energy – Peace – Meditation

 Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert and award-winning author.  She also is an ordained minister and has a natural healing practice.  Among her books are: Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br),and Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core, Second Edition (http://tinyurl.com/mqg3uvc ). Her newest book is Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine, available through her office.  Just email SacredMeditation@kebba.com.   Want an appointment? Or to ask Kebba to speak for your group?  Just email Calendar@kebba.com.

The Effective Author: In What Form to Write?

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author stress, Effective Author, In what form do I write, stress, The Effective Author, What do I write

© 2015 Kebba Buckley Button, MS,OM.  World Rights Reserved.

This is the fourth in a series of 35 articles I call “The Effective Author”.  Since I have found that my writing life is over 80% non-writing activities, I am offering this series to save other writers a lot of frustration. If you have just dropped in on this series, get out your notes and start processing along.

We have talked about finding your delight in writing: your passion topics, past/present/future, fiction/nonfiction/blends/both.  I’m recommending that everyone notice what excites and absorbs them, in reading or in their own writing.  These are the topics and formats that will pull you forward and energize you as you write.  Notice I say “these”.  You may have multiple areas and formats.  A number of authors do, and they actually write under different names for the different series or areas.

Some people love to have a marketing name and perhaps an avatar (cartoon-type image of themselves) to go with the marketing character.  Some like to write under their own name, no matter what they are writing; I’m one of those.  In the academic environment, sometimes faculty are expected to be very serious.  Sometimes, they are expected to publish only scholarly works.  In 1970, a professor of Greek and Latin literature, at Harvard University, learned a hard lesson in this area.  He wrote the blockbuster best-selling novel, A Love Story, and then he wrote the screenplay for the blockbuster movie.  Erich Segal might have had better politics with his academic community, had he written his popular works under a pseudonym. Segal wrote not only scholarly works, but a variety of screenplays (e.g. Yellow Submarine) and novels.

And this brings us back to the question of what formats will be best for your writing.  If current life interests you, blogging (300-800 word articles) or articles for news media may be for you.  Write a variety of articles on timely topics, and submit them to newspapers, the Huffington Post, The Observer, and any other online news outlets that your topics seem to fit.  Submit your articles in the style and length(s) you see in each publication.  Do you want to write about lifestyle, prominent people, fashion, skincare, or financial management? Do you write humor? These topics may fit best in magazines, trade publications, or in the Lifestyle sections of newspapers, online or in print.  Any of your short articles can be linked together to become books.  Let your imagination run wild at the countless combinations that are possible.

If you like characters, actions, and story development, either biography or fiction may be for you. Major biographers can make a lot of money.  And some people’s lives have been at least as exciting as fiction.

In fiction, first try writing microstories (around 300-500 words) such as One Minute Mysteries.  You can write short stories of, say, up to 20 pages, or novellas of perhaps 40-75 pages.  Full novels can run up to 600 pages, continuing in trilogies (e.g., Lord of the Rings) and even prequels. Novelist Jeffrey Archer also writes short stories, which he publishes in collections (e.g.,Twelve Red Herrings).  If you start with short stories, you may fall in love with some of your characters, and you may find them informing full-length novels.

Stephen King said,

“Books are the perfect entertainment: no commercials,no batteries,hours of enjoyment for each dollar spent.  What I wonder is why everybody doesn’t carry a book around for those inevitable dead spots in life.”

The Effective Author wants to create that perfect entertainment, in any number of lengths and forms.  Are you making notes on your passion areas and your possibilities?  Are you checking the Best Sellers lists?  I want you to become that Effective Author.  Questions welcome.

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Energy – Peace – Meditation

 

 

 

 

 

• Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert.  She also has a natural healing practice and is an ordained minister. She is the author of the award-winning book, Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), plus the 2013 book, Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core, Second Edition. Her newest book is Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine. Both that book and Peace Within are available through her office.  Just email books@kebba.com. 
• For an appointment or to ask Kebba to speak for your group: calendar@kebba.com.

The Effective Author: What to Write About?

Tags

Effective Author, stress, The Effective Author, what to write, Writing a book

© 2015 Kebba Buckley Button, MS,OM.  World Rights Reserved.

This is the third in a series of 35 articles I call “The Effective Author”.  In my professional writing life, I have been astonished that so much of my “job” is not-the-writing (http://wp.me/pw4HM-pa).  So this series is being shared to encourage other writers, who may be frustrated by the huge set of non-writing processes that are necessary for the professional writer.

In yesterday’s article, I began asking whether your writing delights you, and who you want to delight with your writing. I also argued that you don’t have to choose between fiction and nonfiction; many successful writers have published both.   I hope you started making notes, or sketching out what came to mind with those questions and examples.

Today I ask you to consider what you want to write about.  With your pen poised at your notes, consider this: What are you passionate about?  What are the burning issues to you?  Love, crime, social justice, politics, interpersonal problem solving, religion/spirituality, humor, leadership? What do you spend most of your time thinking, puzzling, or feeling about? What is most of your conversation about?  Is your mind often on some other country or time period, or both?  Or are you often thinking about the future and imagineering what it may become?  Are you fascinated by lives of the prominent, past or present?

If you are already writing, is it easy and satisfying for you?  If so, maybe you are already in your best groove, or one of them.  Is your research and writing hard work, but you love that and love the pieces you write?  Does your writing take place in the present, but you would really like to see what those characters would do in an earlier era?  What writers or writings do you most admire, and what is it about them that fills or fuels you?  With your answers to these passion questions sketched out in your notes, take a trip to a large bookstore and start prospecting. What sections are you most drawn to? What authors capture you?  In the bookstore, add your reactions to your notes.

William H. Gass said,

The true alchemists do not change lead into gold.  They change the world into words.

Guess what?  You may have just frameworked your future writing genre/s!  But wait!  Before you commit firmly—and you need never do that—consider the example of author James Redfield.  Never heard of him?  No cheating.  Don’t look him up yet.  Redfield wanted to write about spiritual principles that some would call “New Age”.  He wrote a handbook, and a friend recommended that he write it as a novel.  So he did. And it is a very exciting adventure novel.  Since 1993, over 20 million copies of The Celestine Prophecy have sold worldwide, as well as a number of spinoff books.  And here is the possible punchline for you as a writer: James Redfield now gets to live as he wishes, entirely centered in his favorite subject, spiritual living.  He gets to do radio, TV, workshops, magazine interviews, and more writings, all because he wrote from his passion, first as nonfiction, and then as fiction.  What passion of yours would you like to live as a lifestyle?

See if your notes are now showing some patterns. Consider that your writing will be most likely to excite others—and sell—if it excites you.  So draw a line, start a new section of notes, and start brainstorming about kinds of articles/posts/books you might write, in your passion areas. And feel free to write me with any questions.  I want you to become a truly Effective Author.

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Energy – Peace – Meditation

 

 

 

 

• Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert.  She also has a natural healing practice and is an ordained minister. She is the author of the award-winning book, Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), plus the 2013 book, Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core, Second Edition. Her newest book is Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine. Both that book and Peace Within are available through her office.  Just email books@kebba.com. 
• For an appointment or to ask Kebba to speak for your group: calendar@kebba.com.

The Effective Author: Why Write?

Tags

Effective Author, Kebba Buckley Button, stress, why write

© 2015 Kebba Buckley Button, MS,OM.  World Rights Reserved.

This is the second in a series of 35 articles I call “The Effective Author”.  I mentioned in the first article (http://wp.me/pw4HM-pa) that I had discovered my professional writing life– of many years– is mainly about activities and considerations other than the writing itself.  So I am offering this series to encourage other writers, who may feel bogged down by the many aspects of our writing lives that encumber or enfold the actual writing process.

I began writing in great volume, in my holistic stress-and-pain management career, because I was getting tired of hearing myself explaining the same principles and medical discoveries to every one of my clients.  And while I gave talks to every professional group that invited me, those 30-45-minute talks were necessarily superficial.  So I wrote hundreds of articles and evolved a selection of them into my first book, Discover The Secret Energized You.  Yes, the “The” is capitalized in the title, because of another book that was wildly marketed at the time.  I’ll tell that story in another article.

So are you a person with a mission, who needs to write for that reason? Or are you simply craving to write?  Please, make notes on your thoughts.  One easy technique is to take a blank piece of paper, and begin sketching: your reasons for writing, what you have been writing, what you would like to write, what you would like to be known for.  Imagine your obituary: what will it say about you, your writing, and your life?  What would you like it to say?

William Wordsworth wrote this:

Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart.

You need not limit yourself to being either a fiction writer or a nonfiction writer.  Some of the most wildly successful fiction authors started in science careers, and wrote technical books before they wrote fiction.  Consider Kathy Reichs, the creator of 19 mystery novels based on the adventures of Dr. Temperance Brennan, a forensic anthropologist.  The television series, Bones, is now in its tenth year.  Consider Elizabeth Peters, actually a doctorate Egyptologist named Barbara Mertz, who is known for her Amelia Peabody series centered on Egyptian archaeology adventures.  With 19 novels in that series alone, Mertz also penned a non-fiction companion volume.

Write down or sketch out what you love to read and why.  Were there kinds of reading that delighted you in the past, but now perhaps you think you don’t have time for that/them?  For several years, when I was single, I greatly enjoyed the Second Chance At Love romance novels.  A friend gave me a box of them, and they were diverting, refreshing, and encouraging.  Now that I am extremely happily married, that wonderful group of novels don’t interest me at all.  But sometimes I still judge the novel categories for a literary contest or two.  That exposes me to all kinds of novels, and it refills my imagination.

Here is the biggest question:  Does your writing delight you?  If so, you’re writing in a good genre for you.  If you feel tired and strained when you are writing, are you in the wrong area or genre?  Or do you simply need some tools to make it easier?  Feel free to write me for help if you are stuck.  I want you to become a truly Effective Author.

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Energy – Peace – Meditation

 

 

 

 

 

• Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert.  She also has a natural healing practice and is an ordained minister. She is the author of the award-winning book, Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), plus the 2013 book, Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core, Second Edition. Her newest book is Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine. Both that book and Peace Within are available through her office.  Just email books@kebba.com. 
• For an appointment or to ask Kebba to speak for your group: calendar@kebba.com.

The Effective Author: First Thoughts

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Effective Author, how to write, Kebba Buckley Button, stress, The Effective Author

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

© 2015 Kebba Buckley Button, MS,OM.  World Rights Reserved.

In my life journey as a writer, I remember early English class instruction in such exciting topics as sentence structure and paragraph construction.   Now I am the award-winning author of three books, several course curricula, hundreds of articles, and two meditation CDs.  I never set out to be a writer.  And I’ve found that the writer’s life is only about 10 percent about how to write or about actual writing.  To be an effective author, it is crucial to know a lot about the markets for writing and about skills authors need for time, energy, space, personal, and market management.  So, for this and the next 34 posts, I am offering pieces on what I now believe a person needs to truly be an effective author.  No need to stress about your success.  Just include the surrounding skill areas, and you’ll be on your way.

I had some advantages in getting to where I am.  My home environment was filled with books and thinkers’ magazines.  Literally.  The living room was lined with built-in bookshelves for novels, philosophy books, and encyclopedias. Magazines in English and German were everywhere.  Dad read Der Spiegel–like Germany’s answer to Time Magazine–in the evenings, to keep his knowledge of German fresh.  Sometimes, on trips, Dad bought Readers’ Digest in the airports. It was fun looking through all the topics and humor.  When we had reports to write for school, it was easy and—dare I say—fun, digging through the encyclopedias for bits about Abraham Lincoln or how apple trees grow.  We also went to the town and school libraries a lot.

Mom loved reading fiction, and she taught us to read before first grade.  She especially loved (and still does) mystery novels.  By High School, I took up reading mysteries, to try to bond with her, but she read them so fast (and still does), that that didn’t really work.  Meanwhile, I began to absorb the patterns of fiction.  I believe now that the best writers are those who fell in love with reading at some point.

Looking back, I do remember being told I was a natural writer.  What a shock.  That happened in High School, when we were twice asked to write a descriptive paragraph.  Somehow, I decided to write a microstory each time.  I had a quiet hour in the school library, and I used a thesaurus to make my sentences more colorful, as I told my tiny stories.  At that point, I had already seen the One Minute Mysteries, microstories in collections, where the reader is invited to guess the solution to a crime.  So I believed a story could be told in 300 words or less.

Later, I earned a Bachelor’s degree and a Master’s degree in sciences, for which I had to write countless papers.  In my engineering career, and when I changed over to holistic pain- and stress management, I was still avidly writing columns. Writing had become easy for me. I was driven by a passion to help people.  I still am.

I hope you’ll journey with me, over the next 5 weeks, and write out your own thoughts as I share mine.  Who knows?  You may be ripe to be a truly effective author.

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Energy – Peace – Meditation

 

 

 

• Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert.  She also has a natural healing practice and is an ordained minister. She is the author of the award-winning book, Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), plus the 2013 book, Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core, Second Edition. Her newest book is Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine. Both that book and Peace Within are available through her office.  Just email books@kebba.com. 
• For an appointment or to ask Kebba to speak for your group: calendar@kebba.com.

 

Fresh Inspiration from Others’ Professions

Tags

golf, inspiration, Kebba Buckley Button, Madison Hildebrand, MDLLA, Nicole Curtis, Stephen Covey, Steve Jobs, stress

© 2015 Kebba Buckley Button, MS, OM.  World Rights Reserved.

 

As a professional stress management speaker, author, and coach, I’m supposed to get my inspiration from other speakers, authors, and coaches.  But I sometimes find myself uplifted, thrilled and filled afresh by people in completely different professions.  Surprisingly, three of those fields that have been inspiring me a lot lately are championship golf, home redesign, and luxury real estate.

My husband and I found professional golf one day, when we went in search of a new place to find really great burgers.  We stopped in at a sports grill and found more than great food.  An array of large screen televisions framed the main room at this restaurant. An international golf competition was playing on several screens.  Soon we were captivated by the gorgeous setting, as well as the culture of quiet, of focus, and of mutual respect.  Courtesy reigned supreme. The golf course landscape was very beautiful, and some camera shots showed the ocean, just beyond the course.  Competitors spoke quietly, if at all.  The winners responded to sports commentators in a quiet and thoughtful manner. Imagine going to work every day of your career, in natural surroundings, with people encouraging each other to focus quietly and each achieve their personal best.  Imagine that the top achievers in your field are thoughtful and soft spoken.  And you get paid to be with these people in this culture of quiet respect.  Just thinking of professional golfers, I feel fresh permission to stop, focus until ready, and quietly make the right moves toward my goals.

My fascination with home redesign began when I lived in an historic district in Tucson, Arizona. Everyone I knew was restoring historic spaces, at little cost, reusing and recycling. My heart always soared when I saw their projects and heard their conversation.  They spoke for love of legacy, historic colors and finishes, and bringing pieces and spaces back to beauty and life.  They inspired me to refinish my antiques and imagine how people lived in the homes now being refurbished. Today, the restoration expert who most inspires me is Nicole Curtis, the “Rehab Addict”.  She adopts condemned historic homes, in mainly Detroit and Minneapolis, bringing them back to their former glory, but with modern plumbing and wiring.  Curtis is a tiny warrior, a stunning triathlete with cascading blonde tresses.  The cameras find her excitedly ripping offending modern panels off of historic walls, and vigorously sanding the most stubborn surfaces, then refinishing them.  Curtis creates a red dress and glams up for a charity ball, then the next day gets paint in her hair and shrieks excitedly: “WHY would anyone COVER THIS UP?”  Curtis is vigorous, passionate, kind, and resource-wise.  Just thinking of her, I feel invigorated.  I feel my own passion rising, and I know any worthy project can be completed, beautifully and inexpensively.

Another surprise corner of modern culture gives me terrific inspiration.  Recently, I found myself riveted to television shows about high-end listings, especially “Million Dollar Listing: Los Angeles.”  These shows could serve as classroom teaching tools.  Through stories about putting together deals, millionaire real estate experts model how to successfully relate to clients and colleagues.  They also teach us how to negotiate relationships, design, and contracts.  One realtor, Madison Hildebrand, is now demonstrating the principle of not getting locked into a single professional groove.  Not only has he pleasantly succeeded in real estate sales, he now has his own brand (“The Beach Guy”), a book, a speaking career, and his own candle line. He even starred on a major television dating show, in addition to serving in community leadership and volunteer roles.  Hildebrand reminds me to stay who I am, be my best, lift my mind frommain tracks, and stay open to the surrounding opportunities.

Stephen Covey said,

I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions.

And the late Steve Jobs reminded us,

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.

So where have you noticed yourself finding a recharge of your inspiration and your passions?  Do you get inspired in certain places, or activities, or thinking about certain people?  Make yourself an Inspiration List, to review on days when you need a lift.  Soon you’ll be back in your energy, your passion, your imagination, and your success.

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Energy – Peace – Meditation

• If you enjoy this post, please click “like” in the FB widget in the right hand column!You’ll have our undying gratitude plus a huge rise in your Good Karma! Due to a recent FB change, our “likes” look low.  Thanks for your help!
• Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert and award-winning author.  She also is an ordained minister and has a natural healing practice. Among her books are: Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), and Peace Within: Your Peaceful Inner Core, Second Edition. Her newest book is Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine. Either Peace Withinor Sacred Meditation are available through her office.  Just call, or email SacredMeditation@kebba.com.    
• For an appointment or to ask Kebba to speak for your group: calendar@kebba.com .

Your Reputation Under Stress

Tags

Character, Kebba Buckley Button, Reputation, stress, UpBeat Living, Your truth

© 2015 Kebba Buckley Button, MS, OM.  World Rights Reserved.

 

Judith K. Holdsworth – photographer unknown

 

If you squeeze an orange, what comes out?  Yes—orange juice!  Orange juice is the inner nature of the orange.  Cute, huh?  But seriously, if you get squeezed by stress, what’s your inner nature that comes out?  Do you laugh?  Do you get cranky and swear at people? Do you get very quiet and stand there thinking peacefully before you speak?  Last time you were very stressed, what came out of you?

 

Overall, what are the qualities that are true of you?  Are you pleasant, funny, loyal, outgoing, a football expert, smart, articulate, and fit?  Are you quiet, introverted, deep, artistic,  incredibly productive, and always on time?  Are you routinely spacey, but you’re an amazing violinist who does get to rehearsals and performances on time?  One thing is for sure:  whatever people believe about you is what makes up your REPUTATION.  And people can’t possibly know you as well as you know yourself.

 

So let’s do two quick lists.  Got pen in hand, or the Notes section of your iPhone or equivalent?  Good.  Now, for list number one, jot down all the things that are true of you.  This is character and packaging.  Personality, grooming, habits, abilities, interests, sports, faith/philosophy…all count.  These are your TRUTH.  Now make the second list:  all the qualities that others know of you. These make up your REPUTATION.  While you are still pondering your lists, I’ll offer an example.

 

Be more concerned with your character than your reputation.

~ John Wooden

 

My friend of 20 years, Judith Holdsworth, died a few weeks ago.  As far as most of us knew, it was sudden.  She had had some abdominal discomfort, and when she went to a hospital for tests, they kept her a few days.  Then she went to hospice for a week, and then she died, mainly of pancreatic cancer.  At the memorial service, friends and colleagues shared about Judith.  What qualities were true of her?  She was a beautifully groomed, perfect-skinned, smart, kind, articulate giver. Under her perfect appearance, I knew she had massive scars and pain from a career-ending auto accident in Washington DC, in her late ‘50’s; Judith had been a patient of mine. A disability advisor in her ‘60’s and ‘70’s, Judith went on to specialize in advising seniors on access to Medicare and other benefits.  She volunteered for not one, but three, nonprofits that helped seniors.  Always pleasant, with a sparkling smile, even when she recounted dozens of calls needed to straighten out her parents’ prescriptions, she ended her comment with, “oh, you knoooooowww!” and a certain trilling laugh.  I imitated that tone and laugh at the memorial service, and everyone laughed knowingly and admiringly.  So what did people know of her?  What was her reputation?  They only knew the sparkle, the skill, the knowledge, the kindness, and the giving.

 

Some time back, someone said I was snarky because I made an affectionately humorous remark, which made a large audience laugh.  I was commenting on a nonprofit’s newsletter, which was being brought to a new level that year, with columns and other features. A man sent me an email condemning me for making the humorous remark, saying I was snarky, even though I made it warmly, as part of sharing that I am now one of the columnists.  I was urging people to get the newsletter and read it and my column.  He took the view that I was deprecating the newsletter (was he LISTENING?) and he specifically said that “Joe”, the President of that nonprofit, would be Very Disappointed.  Now hold on.  I am excessively kind, and everyone knows it.  But my reputation was under stress!  Name might be spreading around the idea that I was meanspirited.  No small thing to ponder.

 

My reputation is too important to put it aside for purposes of some friendship.

~ Stephanie Tubbs Jones

 

I prayed and slept on this.  Normally, I recommend you NEVER write a letter to try to straighten something out.  It will normally only make a greater mess, and the offender you’re writing to will take the position that YOU started it and offended HIM/HER.  However, based on my experience and the reputation of Name, I know many have been on the receiving end of sharp unwarranted criticism.

 

In the morning, I wrote back:  “[Name], there are molehills, there are mountains, and then there are complete misinterpretations.  Try to remember that I am on the Board of Directors of XYZ Nonprofit.  And had you been at this month’s Board meeting, you would have heard Joe inviting a discussion of how we can increase readership.  You would have heard a very positive discussion, in which the Board decided to introduce columns and to pay the Editor, as well as creating some changes in the format.  Also, the Board appointed a new Editor.  If you knew me, you would know that I am deeply committed to the positive on every level of life and work.”  (I am known for being loving, quiet, deep, peaceful, sometimes very funny, fashionable, creative, hard-working, highly effective, giving, intensely loyal, grounded, and always kind.)

 

Based on what I know my reputation to be, I was able to stand up to Name.  He actually capitulated and said he did not mean to be offensive.  Good!  He is actually the one known for being snarky.

 

So back to your lists:  who are you, to others and to yourself?  Is your truth consistent with your reputation?  Is it time people knew you better?  And what do you want to be known for? For the least stress, live your truth.  Stay in your Upbeat Living.  Don’t borrow anyone else’s list.  And let me know how this evolves for you.

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Energy – Peace – Meditation

 

 

 

• Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert.  She also has a natural healing practice and is an ordained minister. She is the author of the award-winning book, Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), plus the 2013 book, Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core, Second Edition(http://tinyurl.com/mqg3uvc ). Her newest book is Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine, available through her office.  Just email SacredMeditation@kebba.com. 
• For an appointment or to ask Kebba to speak for your group: calendar@kebba.com .

Why Your 2014 Business Goals Flopped and How to Prevent a Repeat

Tags

exhaustion, failure, goals, peace within, stress, success, your mission

© 2015  Kebba Buckley Button, MS, OM.  World Rights Reserved.

 

Looking Backwards Through 2014

 

 

For several days, we’ve been talking about New Year’s Resolutions. Those are great, if you follow the wisdom in the last 3 articles. On New Year’s Day, I recommended you wait to make resolutions, and just gently transition into the New Year (http://wp.me/pw4HM-kV). On January 2d, I shared the biggest secret roadblock to resolutions working (http://wp.me/pw4HM-l0). Yesterday, I covered resolutions that will work powerfully for you, and why they will (http://wp.me/pw4HM-l5).

 

Today, it’s time to really look backward at our recent failures. Let’s see why some of your previous business goals FLOPPED. After all, why waste time pushing yourself toward a goal, if it’s a non-starter? So get out your paper and pen, your iPad or the like, your iPhone Notes app or something similar, and let’s rock!

 

This is the hard part: look backward through your 2014 and list your attempts that failed, starting with December, because it’s freshest in your mind. No one will see your notes, so be honest. You can burn them or delete them, right after we cover this, if you like. Now, what do those failures have in common? I’ll wait. Ready with your list? Then consider if the following examples ring familiar chimes.

 

 

Goals are simply tools to focus your energy in positive directions. These can be changed as your priorities change, new ones added, and others dropped.

 ~ Christopher Columbus

 

The biggest reason for your business goals flopping are that they were the wrong goals—for you. Striving to meet someone else’s goals is a major waste of time and energy. So you took up product sales with a company that has great products, great customer service online and by phone, and even a training system. But you stalled out after a few weeks, exhausted and fog-brained. Exhaustion is your biggest gift: it tells you you’ve been on the wrong track.

 

Selling product and a sales system involves many hundreds of interactions with people. Maintaining others’ interest in your team requires incredible amounts of energy. So whose idea was it for you to take up multilevel sales? Who are you trying to please, Uncle Louie, who said he really needed you on his team? But maybe you are a true introvert and you’re drained by sales meetings and hundreds of emails and calls trying to line people up and get those sales and maintain that team. Getting more and more tired and foggy is a sure sign you’re in the wrong business or wrong business structure. Look for something with a different structure, or a different role in supporting Uncle Louie, like doing all his bookkeeping, inventory, and scheduling. Louie comes back from those meetings all jazzed. He’s the extrovert and he’s the one suited to it.

 

Maybe you got yourself into medical school, and you hate the material and sick people, but you feel obligated to become a doctor and “make good money”. What about moving sideways into medical research, where it’s quiet, or into medical device design? Now set your financial goal for the year. Or maybe you’ve become an accountant, because your whole family are accountants, but you are going insane sitting at the keyboard all day. You can’t wait to go to group lunches, birthday happy hours, and professional conferences—and actually see some people! What about taking over the marketing for your family’s business, and going out to give lively and popular talks to different groups about healthy money management? A true extrovert will wither in a quiet environment. There’s no point in setting “audacious goals” for financial success when you really don’t even want to be there.

 

This pointer is for those of you who are people of faith. Maybe you’ve never really felt you were in your groove, professionally—yet. Maybe you’re not yet in your life’s mission? Maybe you haven’t yet heard your Call? I know a couple who were successful by others’ standards, when they realized they were called to devote their lives to furniture ministry. They heard the Call to sell almost everything they had and create a new nonprofit, collecting furniture for veterans moving into newly provided housing. They are one of the happiest couples I know. Ask yourself now if you have been hearing guidance to shift what you are doing. Pray for direction and clarity, and be open to what you may hear. It may not involve any dramatic changes like moving to a different continent. But being on track with your life’s mission will certainly bring you satisfaction and peace within.

 

So check in with yourself as you think backward through the last year. Do you need to dump some activities, goals, or Board positions you thought you “should” have? Do you need to downsize or rightsize or move sideways in some of your activities? Once you’ve corrected your compass bearings for this year, then it’s time to actually set your goals. And prevent a repeat of last year’s flops.  This year, I wish you the greatest joy, satisfaction, and success!

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Energy – Peace – Meditation

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

• Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert.  She also has a natural healing practice and is an ordained minister. She is the author of the award-winning book, Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), plus the 2013 book, Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core, Second Edition(http://tinyurl.com/mqg3uvc ). Her newest book is Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine, available through her office. Just email SacredMeditation@kebba.com.
• For an appointment or to ask Kebba to speak for your group: bookings@kebba.com .

 

Resolutions That Powerfully Work for You

Tags

goals, Kebba Buckley Button, New Year's Resolutions, resolutions, stress, Stress Management, success

© 2015  Kebba Buckley Button, MS, OM.  World Rights Reserved.

 

© vencav-Fotolia

So how is your New Year going so far? Did you go ahead and make those resolutions? On New Year’s Day, I recommended you wait, and just gently transition into the New Year (http://wp.me/pw4HM-kV). Yesterday, I shared the biggest secret of resolutions that can’t work (http://wp.me/pw4HM-l0). Finally, today, I’m talking about resolutions that can actually work for you, and work powerfully.

 

Making resolutions each New Year’s is one of the most popular traditions we have. What can that mean, except that people are not happy with the conditions or qualities or achievements of their lives and lifestyles? And that they believe they can and should take steps to make things better?   Americans most often resolve to : spend more time with loved ones, get fit, lose weight, quiet smoking, enjoy life more, quit drinking, get out of debt, learn something new, help others, and get organized.

 

“And now we welcome the new year , full of things that have never been.”

~ Rainer Maria Rilke

So what happens to all these well-meant resolutions? Do your last for at least 2 weeks? Are they forgotten within a month? What happened to your resolutions from a year ago?  Some people make commitments to complete their resolutions and some are more in wishcraft.  One study, published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology, found that people who make explicit resolutions succeed at 10 times the rate of people who have an idea that they would like to make a change later.  People with explicit resolutions held onto their resolve with surprising success:   after 6 months, 46% were still on track.  Whereas, after 6 months, only 4% of those who did not make explicit resolutions were still on track.  Which group would you like to be in?

Experts say there are three components of goals that actually work:

1. Write them down.
2. Be specific.
3. Track your progress in some measurable way.

Ramp up your success by posting reminders on your mirrors and refrigerator, even inside your wallet.  Some people get a success boost with an accountability partner, perhaps a friend who shares the goal and will be supportive over a multimonth period.  Some people succeed with a mastermind group.

How long will it take to meet your goal?  Be sure your resolution includes completing the goal in a reasonable period of time.  What if your desire is, for example, to lose 20 pounds, and never have it find you again?   Write down what you will do to achieve this goal, in, for example, a three-month framework.  Will you switch what you swallow (“diet”)?  Will you start taking great multivitamin and mineral supplements?  Will you exercise?  Where will you exercise, and what times and days?  If you are an extrovert, plan on classes or fitness center programs.  If you are an introvert, perhaps workout videos are for you.  After the three months, what will your maintenance program include?  Write it out and post it.  Do you get the pattern here?  Yes, work out the details of your resolution, and recognize that this is your success plan for this resolution.

Your life is a creative process, your greatest experiment.  What tools will you choose, as you craft it into the most joyous, healthy, and fulfilling life you can possibly have?  It’s up to you. I wish you great success and happiness!

_____________________________________________________________

Energy – Peace – Meditation

 

 

• Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert.  She also has a natural healing practice and is an ordained minister. She is the author of the award-winning book, Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), plus the 2013 book, Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core, Second Edition(http://tinyurl.com/mqg3uvc ). Her newest book is Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine, available through her office. Just email SacredMeditation@kebba.com.
• For an appointment or to ask Kebba to speak for your group: bookings@kebba.com .