Resolutions That Powerfully Work for You

Tags

goals, Kebba Buckley Button, New Year's Resolutions, resolutions, stress, Stress Management, success

© 2015  Kebba Buckley Button, MS, OM.  World Rights Reserved.

 

© vencav-Fotolia

So how is your New Year going so far? Did you go ahead and make those resolutions? On New Year’s Day, I recommended you wait, and just gently transition into the New Year (http://wp.me/pw4HM-kV). Yesterday, I shared the biggest secret of resolutions that can’t work (http://wp.me/pw4HM-l0). Finally, today, I’m talking about resolutions that can actually work for you, and work powerfully.

 

Making resolutions each New Year’s is one of the most popular traditions we have. What can that mean, except that people are not happy with the conditions or qualities or achievements of their lives and lifestyles? And that they believe they can and should take steps to make things better?   Americans most often resolve to : spend more time with loved ones, get fit, lose weight, quiet smoking, enjoy life more, quit drinking, get out of debt, learn something new, help others, and get organized.

 

“And now we welcome the new year , full of things that have never been.”

~ Rainer Maria Rilke

So what happens to all these well-meant resolutions? Do your last for at least 2 weeks? Are they forgotten within a month? What happened to your resolutions from a year ago?  Some people make commitments to complete their resolutions and some are more in wishcraft.  One study, published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology, found that people who make explicit resolutions succeed at 10 times the rate of people who have an idea that they would like to make a change later.  People with explicit resolutions held onto their resolve with surprising success:   after 6 months, 46% were still on track.  Whereas, after 6 months, only 4% of those who did not make explicit resolutions were still on track.  Which group would you like to be in?

Experts say there are three components of goals that actually work:

1. Write them down.
2. Be specific.
3. Track your progress in some measurable way.

Ramp up your success by posting reminders on your mirrors and refrigerator, even inside your wallet.  Some people get a success boost with an accountability partner, perhaps a friend who shares the goal and will be supportive over a multimonth period.  Some people succeed with a mastermind group.

How long will it take to meet your goal?  Be sure your resolution includes completing the goal in a reasonable period of time.  What if your desire is, for example, to lose 20 pounds, and never have it find you again?   Write down what you will do to achieve this goal, in, for example, a three-month framework.  Will you switch what you swallow (“diet”)?  Will you start taking great multivitamin and mineral supplements?  Will you exercise?  Where will you exercise, and what times and days?  If you are an extrovert, plan on classes or fitness center programs.  If you are an introvert, perhaps workout videos are for you.  After the three months, what will your maintenance program include?  Write it out and post it.  Do you get the pattern here?  Yes, work out the details of your resolution, and recognize that this is your success plan for this resolution.

Your life is a creative process, your greatest experiment.  What tools will you choose, as you craft it into the most joyous, healthy, and fulfilling life you can possibly have?  It’s up to you. I wish you great success and happiness!

_____________________________________________________________

Energy – Peace – Meditation

 

 

• Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert.  She also has a natural healing practice and is an ordained minister. She is the author of the award-winning book, Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), plus the 2013 book, Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core, Second Edition(http://tinyurl.com/mqg3uvc ). Her newest book is Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine, available through her office. Just email SacredMeditation@kebba.com.
• For an appointment or to ask Kebba to speak for your group: bookings@kebba.com .

 

 

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The Biggest Secret Roadblock Preventing Your Successful New Year

Tags

New Year's Resolutions, releasing the past, resolutions, stress, The life you want

© 2015  Kebba Buckley Button, MS, OM.  World Rights Reserved.

 

© Neirfy-Fotolia

In yesterday’s article , I urged you to glide gently into your fabulous New Year, 2015 (http://wp.me/pw4HM-kV). I urged you to wait before setting resolutions, to simply drink water, gently exercise, and otherwise detox from the holidays, while considering your options. Today, I’m asking you to wait one more day before making those resolutions.

 

Today, I’m sharing the number one unrecognized secret roadblock causing the failure of New Year’s goals and resolutions, and any other goals and resolutions you may ever have. You must recognize and deal with this phenomenon honestly and completely, if you are to succeed any time, now, this year, or throughout your future. READY?

 

Ack! Actually, readiness is the secret. When you are not ready, the goal is roadblocked! There are 3 secrets to being beating this roadblock:

1. Believability:  Your mind must be able to believe the goal is achievable.
2. Worthiness:  Your personality must allow the changes necessary to achieve the goal. Will your mind and heart allow you to be that person? Are you worthy enough?
3. Release:  Your desire for the new condition or level must be greater than the inertia of staying as you are. Are you willing to let go of that roadblock? Can you say goodbye to the old you?

 

“This is a new year. A new beginning. And things will change.”

~ Taylor Swift

 

Let’s do a simple example using a popular New Year’s Resolution. Using Secret 1, you want to lose 30 pounds, which is, let’s say, 3 sizes. When was the last time you were that size? Or were you ever that size? If you have been trying to lose weight for 10 years, since you were that size, does part of you possibly believe that you can’t really lose 30 pounds? If so, you’re sunk before you’ve started. Research shows that your mind must find a goal believable, so this one is a candidate for sectioning. Now let’s break it up into 5-pound segments. Would your mind believe you can lose 5 pounds in the next 2 months? Sure! So take that goal to start with, meet it, then go for another 5 pounds.

 

Now, using Secret 2, will your mind allow you to be the 3-sizes-smaller person? Are you worthy of being that attractive and fit? Or does part of you think you should never presume to claim the small-thin-fit image? This can be a little tricky. How do you feel about your current weight, fitness, and attractiveness? Write down or keyboard out what the consequences would be, if you were 3 sizes smaller. What would that look and feel like? Who would your friends and colleagues be? Would you have better business opportunities? Are you worthy of making more money?

 

Now we’re applying Secret 3: would you feel uncomfortable with that much social attention? Would you be tempted to give up your singleness and then be possibly risking dating and relationships? Sure, it’s comfortable staying as you are and getting what you’ve always gotten. But that’s exactly your roadblock: staying the same is comfortable. Is the new size you want worth shaking up your routines and results? Can you say goodbye to the old You and hello to a really new You? Only you can decide.

 

Now try walking through this process with other goals you may have. Privately write down everything you’re thinking and feeling. What do you really want? Who are you willing to be? What are you worthy of?

 

Don’t you feel different now than you did a few minutes ago? Fantastic! I stand for your most joyous, fulfilled, successful 2015. Please let me know how you have used these secrets, and with what results. Meanwhile, tomorrow, I will finally talk about Resolutions to Revolutionize Your Year!

_____________________________________________________________

 

Energy, Peace, Meditation

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

• Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert.  She also has a natural healing practice and is an ordained minister. She is the author of the award-winning book, Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), plus the 2013 book, Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core, Second Edition(http://tinyurl.com/mqg3uvc ). Her newest book is Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine, available through her office. Just email SacredMeditation@kebba.com.
• For an appointment or to ask Kebba to speak for your group: bookings@kebba.com .

Gliding Into Your Fabulous New Year

Tags

change, Effective living, exhaustion, goals, Guilt, Negative stress, resolutions, stress

 

© 2015  Kebba Buckley Button, MS, OM.  World Rights Reserved.

© Daniele Depascale-Fotolia

So it’s a whole fresh new year—a blank slate to be written upon. Happy New Year 2015! Whoops (sound of brakes screeching)! Are you happy? How do you feel right now? If you need to move the ice pack off your head before you can operate the keyboard, that’s okay. I’ll wait. Open your iPad or your iPhone Notes app, or get out that pen and paper. Let’s take just 5 minutes together, or more, if you find this interesting. Today is the perfect day to ask yourself some questions:

• Is your body comfortable, your heart full, your mind clear and at ease, your spirit at peace? No one is going to see your answers unless you choose to share, so jot down key words, cryptic phrases, or even write out your feelings at length.
• And what about your life and livingness? Do you have the relationships you want? Do you feel loved?
• Is money working for you the way/s you would like?
• Are you and the Divine on friendly terms?
• What about your environment? Does it look pleasant to you? Does the flow work for you? Or is it dull and messy, the closets overflowing and files impossible to navigate?
• Today, how does your life look, compared to what you envisioned on January 1^st a year ago?

 

Notice I have not yet used the R-word. I want you to forget the guilt and forget being hard on yourself. Most say we should jump powerfully into our new year with a renewed sense of discipline and determination. Today, as a stress management expert, I’m supposed to talk enthusiastically about goals and resolutions, why they work and don’t work, blah blah blah. But we can cover those tomorrow. And please come back for that piece. As usual, my recommendations don’t go where others usually go. I want your life and work to be as painless and as satisfying as possible.

 

So for today, please forget all the resolutions you made a year ago. Forget how you’ve been eating and drinking and not-exercising the last several weeks. Forget what the scale said this morning. (You had to look, didn’t you?) Today, you are behind on last year’s idealized ideas of who and how you and your life should be. Some of you are feeling really guilty about the gap. Guilt depresses your parasympathetic nervous system and leaves you more open to illness, so it’s the worst strategy to nurture your guilt.

“Guilt is anger directed at ourselves.”

~ Peter McWilliams

 

May I boldly suggest you stop guilting yourself right now? Instead, today, do what your body-mind-heart-spirit system needs: gentle transition from holiday health into the vigor you want and need for a powerful New Year. Do these things today, and continue this week:

• Drink lots of extra filtered water. This detoxes.
• Eat less sweet stuff today. Sweetness is yin and makes you yin: swollen, weak, slow and quiet.
• If you can, walk for 20 minutes or tread on your treadmill, at walking speed, for 20 minutes. More detox.
• Schedule some energy therapy like Jin Shin Jyutsu ® for balancing. This can eliminate the aches and unclarity.
• Take some time in Nature. This pumps up your master hormone, DHEA, making you stronger and more resilient. The effect is immediate. An upcoming article will expand on this amazing phenomenon.
• If you like God, pray, or just find a quiet place and moment, and talk. You may be wonderfully surprised at what you hear.
• Start a journal, in your iPad or the like, your iPhone notes section, or in a disguised document on your computer. As you finish reading this article, take 5 minutes to write down some of your realizations. Notice how much lighter you feel?

“It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution.”

~ Oscar Wilde

 

I would like you to enjoy your New Year! And to start making the most of it, consider gliding into it gently. Forget the advice to jump in forcefully. Create a transition from the Holidays, treat yourself kindly, and your pzazz will be back in mere days. Now: Happy (and Fabulous) New Year!

___________________________________________________________

Energy, Peace, Meditation

 

 

• Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert.  She also has a natural healing practice and is an ordained minister. She is the author of the award-winning book, Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), plus the 2013 book, Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core, Second Edition(http://tinyurl.com/mqg3uvc ). Her newest book is Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine, available through her office. Just email SacredMeditation@kebba.com.
• For an appointment or to ask Kebba to speak for your group: bookings@kebba.com .

 

UpBeat Living: Calling In Your Fantastic New Year

Tags

New Year's Resolutions, UpBeat Living

© 2014 Kebba Buckley Button.  World Rights Reserved.

Happy New Year, Everyone!  Don’t you love new starts?  And today, you can kick off your best year ever—so far!  Hopefully, you read my suggestion, posted on New Year’s Eve (http://wp.me/pw4HM-fh) that you list and appreciate all you accomplished in the last year.  How did last year come out, compared to your goals and desires?

So now, it’s time to set the vision of the qualities and happenings you want to see in your 2014.  Get out your favorite notepad or iPad, and make a list: excitement and travel? Peace and a cozier home?  A really comfortable bed? More time with friends?  Organized files?  A small or enlarged garden?  More efficient workdays?  Making twice last year’s income? More leisure in natural spaces?  Higher level professional projects?  Working with a great business coach or holistic/energy healer (call me!)?  Moving that book project to completion (call me!)?  Getting closer with your honey/spouse/significant other?  Having an actual vacation for a week during the summer?

Don’t worry if your list is not complete.  Just sketch out what comes to mind in a few minutes.  You can always add to it or change a quality you’ve described, even drop something.

Now write all these qualities into a letter to yourself, as though you are grateful all these things are currently true.  For example: “I just love my life in this beautiful year, 2014!  I enjoy being so cheerful and motivated all the time.  I love my perfect husband, my fulfilling professional projects, and the great rates I’m paid for each area of my work.  It fills my heart that this year I am __ pounds lighter than last year—my body feels so light and moves so easily!  Exercising an hour a day is easy and fun.  My office files are supremely organized, as are my to-do lists, and it’s very easy for me to sit down and get a task done.  I love all the calls I get from loving relatives, sharing news and wishing me well.  [And…  And…]  I’m so grateful for all this Go(o)d in my life, right now!”  Add as many claims as you like.  With your heart and spirit, you are calling them in, calling them by faith.

Now, put a copy on your physical or electronic desktop, on your bedside table, or by your coffeemaker.  Read it to yourself every night before bed and every morning as you rise.  Vividly imagine these things are all true right now.  Let the satisfaction and gratitude fill all your cells and flood your heart and soul.  Be open to amazingly fast results.

Check in with yourself and your visions every month, feel satisfied and give thanks for how much closer you and your visions are than ever before.  And please let me know what you notice.  I would love to hear from you.

——————

● Kebba Buckley Button is the author of the 2013 book, Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core (Second Edition).   Keep this book with you constantly, to quickly recharge your Peace Within, with quotes, photos, and poems that take you directly there!  Kebba is a corporate stress management trainer, and she also has a holistic healing practice.

● Liked this blog?  Why not buy Kebba’s books?  Just click the links!

• Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core (Second Edition)( http://perfectboundmarketing.gostorego.com/authors/kebba-buckley-button.html)
• Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br). ● Enjoyed this post?  Please click “like” in the FB widget in the right hand column!  You’ll have our undying gratitude plus a huge rise in your Good Karma.

● Your comments are welcome!

● Reach the writer at kebba@kebba.com .

UpBeat Living: Quick! Say A Proper Goodbye to 2013!

Tags

holiday stress, Kebba, New Year, New Year's Resolutions, stress, Stress Management, UpBeat Living

UpBeat Living: Closing Out 2013

© 2013 Kebba Buckley Button.  World Rights Reserved.

Image by Microsoft

It’s the last day of the old year, 2013, and already people are wishing each other a Happy New Year.  TV networks have aired video summaries of the most colorful events of 2013.  This morning, Arizona time, as people watched those videos over breakfast, Sydney, Australia had already crossed into the New Year and celebrated with fireworks.  You have to watch those pesky time zones.

But wait!  Have you properly said “[G]oodbye” to 2013?  Before you launch into your New Year’s resolutions—and you know you will—how about first making your own summary list of all you accomplished or weathered or observed in the old year?  My husband held a great-granddaughter on his lap for the first time.  I finished the second edition of my newest book, Peace Within, and officiated an interfaith prayer service in a Catholic Church (think about it—I’ll wait) for International Day of Peace in September.  A new Pope was elected, an Italian-speaking Hispanic, who embodies God’s love and goes by “Francis”, after St. Francis.  And CBS says Esquire Magazine has named the Pope Best-Dressed Man Of The Year!  For a Pope, he dresses simply, in white.

Why not make a list of all the frustrations and victories, disappointments and joys, that were there for you in this outgoing year?  Take a piece of paper, or a word processor document, or create lists in your phone.  Make 3 columns:  what I didn’t like, what I did like, and what happened in the World that affected me.  Take just 15 minutes, or more, if you realize it’s a powerful thing for you.  You’ll notice a lot of accomplishments.  Be proud.  Celebrate the good.  Toast to the wonders of the Old Year, and wait until midnight to ring in the New Year.

——————

● Kebba Buckley Button is the author of the 2013 book, Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core (Second Edition).   Keep this book with you constantly, to quickly recharge your Peace Within, with quotes, photos, and poems that take you directly there!  Kebba is a corporate stress management trainer, and she also has a holistic healing practice.

● Liked this blog?  Why not buy Kebba’s books?  Just click the links!

• Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core (Second Edition)( http://perfectboundmarketing.gostorego.com/authors/kebba-buckley-button.html)
• Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br). 
• Enjoyed this post?  Please click “like” in the FB widget in the right hand column!  You’ll have our undying gratitude plus a huge rise in your Good Karma.

● Your comments are welcome!

● Reach the writer at kebba@kebba.com .

UpBeat Living: What Mothers Your Invention?

Tags

Aron Ralston, at choice, choices, Clinton Kelly, fulfilled, happy, Kebba, living beyond, Necessity is the mother of invention, overcoming fear, Stacy London, unstuck, What Not To Wear

© 2012 Kebba Buckley Button.  World Rights Reserved.

Around 360 BC, Plato (in Greek), famously referred to “necessity, which is the mother of invention”.  Plato was writing, in Plato’s Republic, Book II, about creating a new state out of the needs of the people.  He and Adeimantus were discussing what that new state could and should be, based on the needs that were known.  They imagined.  They designed.  A number of authors and pundits since have used the phrase, “necessity is the mother of invention”.  This is generally understood to mean that if something is needed strongly enough, then a solution or an innovation will be found. This principle goes for the smallest levels of challenges and the greatest.

Consider this example.  A friend remembers repairing a grandfather clock, in which a tiny part had broken.  The part was no longer available, and the clock stood silent and useless.  My friend puzzled and tinkered. Today, decades later, the clock works well, and there is still a sewing needle, deep in the works of the clock.

In another example of solving small problems, a client tells of having an annoying drip from her kitchen exhaust system onto her glass-top stove.  The drip made a strange film on the stovetop, which adhered to any cooking tool passing by that spot.  In an otherwise attractive kitchen, until the cause and solution of the drip itself could be found, a small and lovely temporary solution was developed:  put a tiny terracotta baking dish on the stovetop, under the drip.  The tiny baking dish also serves as a spoon rest, so it remains.  How many tiny innovations have you made, that enhanced your daily life?

In the TLC television show, What Not to Wear (WNTW), over 200 episodes of makeovers have taken place.  But this is no shopping show, no find-the-right-pants show, no get-a-better-hairstyle show.  There is a much larger vision.  WNTW creates a unique opportunity for women—and an occasional man—to completely re-envision how they present themselves to the world.  Each participant, or “contributor”, is offered the chance to go to New York City with their entire wardrobe and have their collection reviewed by Stacy London and Clinton Kelly.  Stacy and Clinton literally take away any pieces that they believe do not work for the contributor’s lifestyle; this is often the entire wardrobe.  There is no going back.  The old clothes are gone.  The contributor is then given a $5000 card to use to shop for new pieces by WNTW rules.  In the studio, as the old clothes are disappearing before the contributor’s eyes, the opportunity opens questions such as:  what are the essentials of who I am?  What do I take with me into this new time of my life, and how?  How do I design my appearance,  to  represent who I really am?  By the time the wardrobe is replaced, the person’s hair restyled, and new makeup designed, observers can see the contributor’s attitude, stance, languaging, and self-esteem powerfully shifted.  Contributors have often reported great gains in their relationships and careers after their makeovers.  WNTW creates the necessity to re-invent, not only a person’s style, but a person’s self-concepts, by removing the contributor’s habitual lifestyle props: their wardrobe.  WNTW mothers (re)invention.

Occasionally, a serious situation may be the mother of our invention or innovation.  In 2003, 28-year-old outdoorsman Aron Ralston was mountain climbing in Utah, when his arm became wedged between boulders.  Ralston remained there for over 5 days, until he realized he could leverage enough force to break two of his arm bones and cut off his now-dead forearm with a dull multi-tool.  This graduate of Carnegie-Mellon University had majored in mechanical engineering and French, and had minored in piano.  He knew his piano days were over.  He knew that, to live, he would need to break and cut off the now-useless arm, rappel down a cliff one-armed, and hike 8 miles.  He did these things.  Today, he still climbs mountains, wearing a  prosthesis, and he has a wife, a son, and a speaking career.  When Ralston realized his arm was lifeless, he re-invented himself and his life.  Read more about Ralston in his book, Between a Rock and a Hard Place.

So in your life, right now, what necessity is calling you to invent something?  Do you need a re-invent a relationship that isn’t working, innovate a change in your stale business life, or invent a new schedule with more family time?  Is the ugly doorway of your home in need of a change of direction and redesign of the porch?  Is your health calling you to re-invent your wellness, with a fresh exercise/diet/supplements regime?  What necessity will be the mother of your next invention?  Enjoy your inventing!

___________________________________________________________

● Your comments are welcome!

● Get these articles by email– just click the Subscribe Free option in the right column!

● Reach the writer at kebba@kebba.com .

 

UpBeat Living: Instant Yoga, Instant Energy

Tags

energy, exhausted, fatigue, Feeling energized, Instant Yoga, stress, tired, Yoga

© 2012 Kebba Buckley Button, M.S., O.M.  World Rights Reserved.

Hands up, anyone who feels tired right now!  Oh yes.  Hands up, anyone who is routinely more tired than they want to be!  Oh yes.  By the way, you look like you’re tired.  Just kidding.  Some of you are wearing makeup, and it keeps you from looking so tired.

Not having the energy you want is a pervasive condition many have been noticing in recent years.  We have fatigue from sleep disorders including from breathing errors during sleep.  We have fatigue from stress overload or from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, overlapping with fatigue due to bad dreams.  We have fatigue from eating too much sugar, fatigue from eating foods containing microtoxins, fatigue from air pollution, and fatigue from drinking too little water.  We have Chronic Fatigue Immune Deficiency Syndrome (CFIDS).  Substituting coffee for sleep can work for a while, then make us deeply fatigued.  There are many more causes for being too tired.

Tired people may have trouble concentrating, may ache all over, and may be cranky.  Their reflexes are impaired, slowing down their thinking and actions.  They may make be unproductive and make mistakes that result in losses at work.  They may cause accidents while driving and hurt relationships at home.  They get sick more easily.

In contrast, we feel great when we have lots of energy.  Vitality is a magic ingredient that can completely turn around attitudes, productivity, and relationships.  There are many ways to trade in stress and fatigue for energized living.  In the 2009 book, “Discover The Secret Energized You”, this writer provides hundreds of understandings, tips and tricks for literally trading in your stress for energy.

But what if you need some instant energy, you don’t have time to read, and you’ve had enough coffee for the day?  Some basic yoga, that doesn’t even look like yoga, can help.  This is called “invisible yoga”.  Everyone has seen regular yoga:  it looks like stretches and breath techniques.  Here are 2 subtle-looking yet powerful techniques you can do in almost any situation, no one will notice, and you will increase your vitality within two minutes.  Do either Instant Yoga Energizer for just one minute, if that’s all you have before your meeting starts.

Instant Yoga Energizer #1:  Find a spot where you can see a clock or your smartphone’s clock. Notice the time.  Now think of stretching as you roll your shoulders slowly, gently, “stretchingly” for 2 full minutes.  Roll them in the same direction and then in opposite directions.  Notice that your head seems to be down and forward compared to the refreshed shoulders.  Gently bring your head up and back, until it is centered over your shoulders.  Repeat.  Now notice the energy has reached your toes and the balls of your feet.  Notice the lightness in your head.  That is the improved circulation of blood and oxygen in and to your brain.  Enjoy!

Instant Yoga Energizer #2:  Seated, become aware of your fatigue and how your body is positioned.  Where is your fatigue?  If your shoulders are, for example, off to the left of your body’s center, gently glide them back to center.  If your head is down and forward, gently move it back to being upright and centered between your shoulders.  Now become aware of your breath.  How shallow or deep is it?  Begin to exhale out to the end of your breath.  Push the last bit of air out of your lungs and allow the reflexive inhale, or gasp.  The inhale will automatically fill your lungs completely, replacing the urban pollutant-filled air you just pushed out.  This is a complete breath, the exhale plus the inhale.  Do this twice more.  Notice the light sensation at the back of your head, plus the warming of your ankles and neck.

Congratulations!  You have just had your first Invisible Yoga Class.  Namaste!  Use these techniques often, and enjoy the effects.  After all, it’s your energy and your life.  Why be tired?

________________________________________________________

●  Your comments welcome!

 

●  Reach the writer at Kebba@kebba.com

UpBeat Living: Happy Problems

Tags

Attitude, choices, energy, fulfilled, Perspective, responsible, stress, Stress Management

© 2012 Kebba Buckley Button, M.S., O.M.  World Rights Reserved.

It’s popular to review the previous year, and make plans for the upcoming year, around the end of December.  People love to make New Year’s resolutions.  But why not a mid-year review right now?  How would you rate your year so far? 

Would you like the rest of this year to be the strongest, healthiest, most financially thriving time ever for you?  Then try a fresh view of some situations you have been viewing as “problems”.   The idea of a “problem” is usually negative.  Problems cause you stress.  Then you have to manage your stress.  But try this different approach.  Write down the top 4 problems you have at the moment.  Don’t worry—the rest of us can’t see your list.  Think about the details of these topics for 2 full minutes.  Notice how heavy you begin to feel as you think about your “problems”?  Your shoulders get tight, your long muscles may begin to hurt, and your stomach may turn into a knot.  Your body is telling you that you are uncomfortable with these topics.

Recently, I caught myself stressing about all my to-do items, thinking of the list as a problem and feeling bad about it.  The key here is that I did catch myself.  I told a friend, “my list runneth over!”  I joked about it, then got back on track and prioritized the tasks, making the most of my time.  I felt better on every level.  All those to-do items are actually opportunities.  You don’t “have” to do them—you “get” to do them. So talk about what you “get” to do, not what you’ve “got” to do.  And getting each item done feels good.  Write each item—you are writing down your to-do items, aren’t you?  Then numbering them in the best order?  Then completing them as quickly as you can?  Be sure to go back to your list and check off each item when it’s complete.  That step becomes addictive, giving yourself approval for completions.  So now you can see your overflowing list as a “happy problem”, an opportunity to accomplish and feel good.  Your body will feel lighter as you take this approach.

In a relatively new restaurant specializing in quick lunches, I asked the owner how business was.  The store was fairly full and the crowd was eagerly queuing; those who already had their lunches appeared to be munching quickly, quietly, and happily.  When I asked, the owner got a pained look on his face and said how people were just streaming in and streaming in!  He said it was like there was no end to it, and he looked miserable.  His head bent to the side and his shoulders drooped as he expressed his stress.  I said, cheerfully, “well, good!  I’m very happy for you!  Especially during this recession!”  The owner looked shocked, then switched to a smile and said, “You’re right!  It’s a good thing!”  His posture completely shifted.  He had a “happy problem”.

Recently, an Episcopal Priest, Fr. Jim Clark, was talking about something that really stressed him out.  Fr. Jim’s church is the beautiful St. Barnabas on the Desert, in Scottsdale, Arizona.  The sanctuary has a circular communion rail around the altar area.  An unintended consequence of the design was that people arriving and leaving the communion circle come face-to-face with each other and must always step aside to prevent running into each other.  Ushers try to direct the chaotic flow, and many smiles are exchanged as people kindly make room for each other.  Fr. Jim mentioned his stress over communion traffic to Father William Meninger, a Catholic priest and author of books on the contemplative life.  Fr. Meninger immediately suggested that Fr. Jim think of the “traffic” as a gift.  He suggested Fr. Jim recast his view of the situation, substituting the view that this “traffic jam” is actually another opportunity for intercommunity communion, for social connection.  And guess what?  Parishioners were already taking that view.  There was no negative “problem”.  It was a “happy problem”.  Fr. Jim’s body language changed completely as he talked about recasting the “problem” as a “gift”.

Now you.  Go back to your initial list of 4 top problems.  What aspects of those situations are really opportunities for achievement, things to give thanks for, or springboards for solutions?  What can you celebrate as “happy problems”?  How can you leverage those to reach your dreams this year?  How powerful will the rest of your year be?  It’s up to you.

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— Comments welcome! —

Reach the writer at Kebba@kebba.com

UpBeat Living: Less Stuff

Tags

energy, fatigue, Feeling energized, fulfilled, happy, less stuff, Organizing, stress, Stress Management, stuck, Stuff

© 2011  Kebba Buckley Button.  World Rights Reserved.

Do you crave to feel lighter?  Do you think of fresh air, blooming plants, new life, new starts?  Do you think of feeling carefree and lighthearted?  So, what if you felt that great in your home or office environment all the time?

Get a piece of paper and pen, or your favorite electronic list maker, and start a list of the areas you love or don’t love in your environment.  Make 2 columns and record what you notice in the Love and Don‘t Love areas.  Are the areas you love airy, clean, lovely, organized?  Is it easy to find what you need, quickly?  Now what about the areas you don’t love?  Might these include the back room with the boxes and other odd storage?  Or the closet in which it’s hard to find your favorite pants?  Or the backed-up filing system with nearby unfiled stacks?  Note how you would like the don’t-love areas to be different.

Many people have too much Stuff, in their closets, in their filing system, and on their flat surfaces.  If you feel crowded, you have too much Stuff.  If your rooms feel small, short of relocating, you have too much Stuff.  If you can’t find the files you want, you are trying to keep too many files.  Do you ever think of a document you would like to have in hand, and you know you own it somewhere, but you don’t even know what box it’s in?  Then you have too much Stuff.  The fact is that, if you can’t retrieve it, it’s the same as not having it!  So what’s the difference between having 20 boxes in storage or in your closet, from which you can retrieve nothing, and just not having those boxes?  Right now, those boxes are just sucking up your space and your energy, as well as possibly looking embarrassing.  It’s shocking to face this bit of reality, isn’t it?  So resolve now to reduce your Stuff.

Now stop whining.  You know you’ll feel better as the outdated and useless Stuff leaves.  Your job is to take a box, file, or area at a time, and divide everything into 4 piles: trash, recycle, donate, and keep.  Keep a high-speed shredder in your work area, and shred private material without stacking it.  Start with the idea of reducing the Stuff in each area by half.  Use the Magic Motivator to eliminate procrastination:  Set a timer for 45 minutes at a time and force yourself to stop for 15 minutes– break time and reward time!  Not being allowed to do more than 45 minutes of sorting at a time reverses the usual resistance to choosing to work on this project.  For papers to keep, scan what you can and file them in the computer.  Your bills and bank records are all online, so you need to keep almost none of these.  Try for one or two 45-minute spurts a day, or more, for one month.  Notice how free you begin to feel!

Next time: Closet and Clothing Control.

UpBeat Living: Spring Springing

Tags

Effective living, energy, energy foods, Feeling energized, friendships, lifestyle, Organizing, stress, Stress Management, vitality

©2011 Kebba Buckley Button.  World Rights Reserved.

Did you read this column title as “Spring Cleaning?”   I have lived in places with actual winters, cold weather, ice, wind, and snow.  In those areas, Spring Cleaning was widely understood as an annual ritual.  It took place in many households, when the weather finally became warm enough to open the windows again, after the relative confinement of Winter. As plants began to sprout, leaf out, or bud, so people would take a fresh look around the house and air out, clean out, and toss out unneeded items, dirt, and general clutter.

So, what if your home and office were very clean, all areas were decorated to please you, and you knew where everything was when you wanted to reach for it?  How much time and stress would you save?  How much energy would you have, compared to moving around in your Winter space, with stuffy air and plenty of dust and clutter?  How long does it currently take you to find the office stapler, the correction tape, the blank CDs, or your computer’s portable backup device?  Do you know where all your bills are, and when you last paid what?  Can you quickly put your hands on the tool you need, the extra blanket for company, or the sweater Aunt Pat gave you last year?  How much time do you spend searching?

My friend, author Donna Smallin (Kuper), has written several books that can help you get control of your home and office.  An expert organizer, Donna believes in simple organizing. In her book, Organizing Plain and Simple, Donna even offers a quiz to help you identify your Organizing IQ.  She suggests we each ACT:  Assess the situation, Commit to a plan (in writing), and Take action.  What if your overall need is simply to reduce your clutter?  Might you want to go room by room, reducing your belongings by 20 percent?  Perhaps all you need is to centralize your workspace and equip it to work better for you.  Or, if you can never find your keys, checkbook, purse, or phone, perhaps the main thing you need is a designated landing pad relatively near your front door. This might be a table, shelf, or drawer, where you drop the keys and other items on the way in, and from which you pick them up on the way out.  Pick one small aspect or area of your home or office to start with.  Once organized, the area will be easy to clean.  You’ll be running more efficiently, feeling good about your decluttered space and yourself, and finding your energy springing forth.  Soon you’ll want to tackle organizing a new aspect or area.  And there is no limit to how far you can take this chain reaction of Spring organizing and cleaning, then springing up to new energy levels.

Officially, Spring begins on March 20th.  But what’s holding you back from springing forward with your environment, your stuff, and your life right now?  Start small, and soon the rewards will be great.

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Reach the writer at kebba@kebba.com.