© 2015 Kebba Buckley Button, MS, OM. World Rights Reserved.
Now be honest: how many times today did you consider someone else’s ideas about you? How many decisions did you make because someone else would or would not like exactly what you did? If your hair is royal blue and forms a peak across the center of your skull, maybe this isn’t you. Or maybe it is.
As a stress management expert, I want you to navigate as freely and joyfully through your life as you can. I want you to find the greatest health and fulfillment you can. And that means dealing firmly with the things that cause you stress, pain, and fatigue. The results are a lifestyle I call Upbeat Living, always emphasizing the Up beat, like the music term.
One of the things I see most draining people is the desire to make a choice that is harmless to others, but there is fear of others’ opinions. So many of these fears are small. For example: you’re having lunch with a vegetarian, but you really crave a burger, and that’s better for your metabolism; you’re afraid to order what you want, for fear of disapproval. Or you want to cut your hair short and dye it vivid red, but you’re afraid of negative feedback in the workplace or that the one you’re dating will be less attracted to you. But some of these fears are bigger: maybe you want to leave your current financial career that’s sucking your soul dry. But you’re afraid your family will disown you if you become a chef.
Argue for your limitations and they are yours.
~ Rev. Terry Cole-Whittaker
If the vegetarian expresses disapproval of your lunch order, the message is that you are wrong—not worthy. If your workplace expresses disapproval of your hair color, the message is that you are wrong—not worthy—for their group. And if your family would disown you for quitting your draining job and becoming a chef, the message is that you are wrong and not worthy.
Several decades ago, I encountered a book by (Rev.) Terry Cole-Whittaker, with the most amusing title: What You Think Of Me Is None Of My Business. Cole-Whittaker believes firmly that each of us is already a complete person, with nothing missing. So we cannot be inadequate.
God does not make junk!
~ Rev. Terry Cole-Whittaker
So according to Cole-Whittaker, other people are not our source, the Divine is. Since God/the Universe/the Divine is completely infinite, all options are open to us, and the sky is the limit. Or not even. She encourages us to think very freely about why we’re attached to what and whom, and to be open to just releasing those attachments. We often have a very strong sense of possession: MY job, MY hairdresser, MY beloved. She tells of realizing she was hanging onto her first marriage, long after it was no longer working or salvageable. She finally got honest with herself and saw she didn’t want anyone else to have her husband!
Try this: find 15 minutes of you-time in a quiet place. Or find it in a charming coffee shop where you plug in your laptop, with the hum and chatter of the place creating happy white noise. Now free-write to yourself and the Universe about your life—what you like and don’t, what’s working and what isn’t, what and how you would have things in your dream life. Do you see ways in which you’re feeling stuck? Now: YOU are the only person who can choose differently.
What I think of you is none of your business. And what you think of me is none of my business. But what you think of your life, what nurtures you, and what would make you happy and fulfilled—those things are entirely your business. Create some you-time every day, as you can, and keep writing to yourself and the Universe. Keep adding to the “discussion” you have going with you and the Divine. Notice what makes your heart dim or race. Notice you’re beginning to make small changes. And maybe you’re starting to make big ones. Now, that’s Upbeat Living!
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- Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert. She also has a natural healing practice and is an ordained minister. She is the author of the award-winning book, Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), plus the 2013 book, Peace Within: Your Peaceful Inner Core, Second Edition(http://tinyurl.com/mqg3uvc ). Her newest book is Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine, available through her office. Just email SacredMeditation@kebba.com.
- For an appointment or to ask Kebba to speak for your group: firstname.lastname@example.org .