©2015 Kebba Buckley Button, MS, OM. World Rights Reserved.
Do you have Forgiveness Stress? That’s when you feel a lot of internal pressure because of resentment of things that happened in the past. Even yesterday. Even this morning. Someone did something wrong to you. You didn’t get that raise but a jerk did. A job didn’t work out. A driver was rude and cut you off in traffic. A friend, or someone you thought was a friend, betrayed you. Mom always loved your brother better. The big box store stopped carrying your favorite snack the last 6 months; maybe they’ll have it again, depending on the supplier. You asked a simple question in the produce department and the clerk snapped at you like you did something wrong. Someone attacked you.
A lot of unfair things happen in life. A lot of us get dealt unfair hands, or it seems so. A major key to dealing with all these things is to forgive them: both the individuals and the situations. I have written columns and chapters in my books about the importance of forgiveness and how to work that process. Forgiving will lighten your heart and leave you free to live right now. After all, we can only live in the immediate present moment! Think about it: can you even go back to this morning and handle a situation better? No. Can you go a couple of days ahead and handle something better? No. You can only live in the NOW with an eye to the future you are creating, or cocreating with the Divine, if you are a person of faith.
Holding onto sadness or resentment for unfair things and hurtful things only keeps you firmly gripping stress, living in a soup of negativity. We all need to learn to forgive—but not to forget how we got into negative situations. Sometimes, for example, we think a person humiliated us in public. We are still hurt and angry 20 years later. However, looking back from the perspective of twenty years, we may realize that if we had made different choices, that person could not have embarrassed us. Our own behavior made it possible. If we had been better prepared for that meeting, the sequence would have been completely different. In this example, the core of this memory is actually shame.
This can be hard to face: sometimes we behaved in an inadequate way, bad stuff happened, and we need to forgive ourselves for our part in it. If you’re thinking of an example from your own life, then start working on forgiving yourself right now. Consider journaling about it. You will never let go of that bad memory and end its power over you until you deal with your Forgiveness Stress! Bless and release the You of the past, and just do your best now. Your life is waiting.
- Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert. She also has a natural healing practice and is an ordained minister. She is the author of the award-winning book, Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), plus the 2013 book, Peace Within: Your Peaceful Inner Core, Second Edition. Her newest book is Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine. Both that book and Peace Within are available through her office. Just email firstname.lastname@example.org.
- For an appointment or to ask Kebba to speak for your group: email@example.com.