UpBeat Living: When Life Flips You Off Track

Tags

change, dealing with change, Garth Brooks, Kebba Buckley Button, life change, Pinball Machine, relationship, stress, Stress Management, UpBeat Living

© 2014 Kebba Buckley Button.  World Rights Reserved.

 

©M. Rosenwirth – Fotolia

Think of the top 3 disappointing events you’ve had in life.  Maybe you were in a relationship you believed in, and suddenly it was over.  How about the time you had your heart set on a job, you knew you were the prime candidate, and you didn’t get it?  Then there was that friend who suddenly cut you off, with a weird reason or no reason.  Remember how much that hurt?

 

Enter, the Upbeat Living Pinball Machine Theory of Life.  Sometimes, it’s like you are the ball on a pinball game board.  After the token goes into the machine, and the spring launcher is pulled and released, the ball zips up the slope of the game board.  Sometimes, like the pinball, you are racing up the board of life thinking you are definitely headed in a certain direction.  The right direction, surely.  Then you get hit with a flipper.  Ow!  For a moment, you don’t even know what your new direction is, right?  You’re just reverberating with the impact of the flipper (ow!), feeling the pain, and trying to get your bearings again.  Then you begin collecting yourself, look up, and see what unintended direction you are now headed in.  Yikes!  This is a new direction!  Not what the plan was!

 

Now let’s talk about that major relationship change.  Grammy-Award winning musician Garth Brooks has a powerful song called, “Thank God for Unanswered Prayers.”  In the song, he tells of being at a football game with his wife and seeing the woman he dated in high school.  Back then, he used to pray for that relationship every night.  By the time he saw his old flame again, he realized he would not be in the amazing relationship he was in with his wife, had the relationship with his old flame worked out.  So now he is massively grateful for the passing of that old relationship.  He was redirected on the Pinball Machine of Life, and now he is deeply glad.

 

Life is a tapestry woven by the decisions we make.

~Sherrilyn Kenyon, Kiss of the Night

 

Now, that perfect job you didn’t get—what changes would that have created in your life?  Changes that would have prevented something great that then did happen?  Here’s an example from this writer’s life:  20 years ago, she flew to Denver for a pre-hiring interview with an international company.  Having done projects with the CEO of the Colorado Division, she knew it was only a matter of negotiating the position and salary.  In Denver, she scoped out where to rent an apartment and what moving arrangements would be involved.  But when she called the man who was to interview her, he said he would call back in 20 minutes.  Then he never did. He never managed to meet with her during the 5 days she was there.  When the CEO asked how her conversations with the interviewer went, she told him they never even met.  The CEO said, “but I thought it was a pre-hiring interview?’  She said, “yes, I thought so, too.”  She never heard from the company again.  It was a bitter disappointment that hurt for many months.  Now, however, she sees that she would never have met and married her husband, had she been given the job in Denver.  She was redirected for a powerful reason.

 

As to a friend who suddenly cut you off, let’s put it in perspective and then give thanks.  Recently, a client was suddenly dropped as a friend because she declined a vacuum cleaner demonstration.  That’s right.  She politely declined an emailed request, due to an extreme work schedule.  Also, she did not know the friend-of-a-friend-of-a- friend that she would be helping by giving 2 hours for a demonstration of a product she could not afford.  The inviter sent an attack reply, assaulting the client’s integrity and spirituality.  He said she was monetizing their friendship.  The client was thinking, “[W]ell, ONE of us is monetizing the relationship!”

 

Leeda knew friends never turned out to be what you expected. They came and went in waves, pulling away and coming back, leaving you feeling safe one minute and lost the next.

~ Jodi Lynn Anderson, Peaches

 

The client then phoned the inviter’s wife to ask if she felt the same way.  The wife said she would call back.  Immediately the inviter emailed the client again, nastily ordering that she must not “go behind his back” to talk to his wife, and best she not contact either of them again.  Did the client really want to be friends with people who would go ballistic over small matters?  Reconsidering a number of past hints of the dark side of these “friends”, the client sadly let these friendships go.  Since, she has come to be glad they are no longer in her life.  Now she has more time for more compatible friends.  She was redirected for powerful reasons.

 

Never respond to an angry person with a fiery comeback, even if he deserves it…Don’t allow his anger to become your anger.

~ Bohdi Sanders, Warrior Wisdom:  Ageless Wisdom for the Modern Warrior

 

If you are a person of faith, remember this timeless truth [Romans 8:28]:  “We know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him…”  When the flippers hit you, you are being directed for powerful purposes, by a Wisdom greater than our own.  Do your best to deal with the hurt.  Then embrace the new opportunities that are arriving.  Be the happy and grateful pinball.  Now that’s Upbeat Living!

 

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● Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert.  She is the author of the award-winning book, Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), plus the 2013 book, Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core, Second Edition (http://tinyurl.com/mqg3uvc).  She also has a natural healing practice and is an ordained minister.

● Liked this article?  You can buy Kebba’s books:  just click the links!

• Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br). 
• Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core (Second Edition) (http://tinyurl.com/mqg3uvc)             

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UpBeat Living: What I Learned From the Pine in the Feng Shui Garden

Tags

adjusting to change, change, dynamism, Effective living, Feng Shui Garden, flexibility, The life you want, Visioning

© 2013 Kebba Buckley Button.  World Rights Reserved.

Confucius in the Feng Shui Garden
Photo by Kebba Buckley Button

When I first began developing my Feng Shui Garden, about 7 years ago, I bought a pine tree with no label at Home Depot’s after-Christmas orphan tree sale.  I was so strongly moved to adopt this tree, that there was no resisting it.  Heaven clearly wanted me to have this tree, which was about my height, about 5 feet and 6 inches.  With much help from my tall, strong husband-to-be (now husband), I selected a location for this little tree, far out from the 6-foot wall.  My thought was to have the tree anchor a charming planter area in that corner of the garden.

Ha!  The tree is now about 4 times my height, and its branches drape out over the wall.  It’s so big now, that there is no way to reasonably get a photo.  As you approach the house, you can now see the backyard treetop looking down on the house.  Its shade cools our yard and our house.  What scares me is that the nearby park has similar-looking trees that are up to 70 feet tall.  That’s right.  Huge.  We thought we were buying a vegetal puppy, and we ended up with a vegetal Marmaduke!  Only very well-behaved.

Meanwhile, I have learned amazing things from my friendship with this tree.  Here are a few:

1. Scale:  Start a project, and you never know how grand it may turn out to be, especially when it’s Heaven-backed.  My pine tree has become the triumphant presence in the Feng Shui Garden.  Not greater than the Divine Presence, of course.
2. Vision:  Keep watering your project garden, treat it reasonably, handle with prayer, and years later, it may look like quite a different project.  The project itself may change your vision of the project, with time.
3. Dynamism:  Everything is dynamic.  Puppies, pines, relationships, business projects, social media—everything is ever-changing.  So when we start something, we need to be flexible and see just how it’s evolving.  Did your puppy look like the grown dog did/does?  Does your relationship with your sister look like it did when you were kids?
4. Response to Grace:  As the project/person/puppy changes, they bless us differently, and we need to change.  We need to decorate around them, in different ways.  A puppy needs a different bed, different food, different toys, different exercise than a grown dog.  In the Feng Shui Garden, I have shifted the design of the Garden a number of times, as the pine has grown and begun to grace the Garden differently.  I enlarged the original planter bed several times, to engage the visual scale and beauty of the pine.  A 30” monk statue under the pine has been moved several times, as the scale of the planter area has shifted.  Today, I removed the original coin plant (looks like jade plant with up to ½” succulent leaves) that, at one time, was on the sunny edge of the pine’s planter zone.  Recently, it has been in complete shade and wandering about.  Today, the removed coin plant got reduced to cuttings and transferred to a beautiful pot, now standing at a sunny edge of the pine’s perimeter.  I had to re-think and re-vision what was under the pine, as it began to teach me more of who it was.

The pine in the Feng Shui Garden is moving into its greatness.  Who knows what the scale of its greatness will be in 5 years, 10 years, 20 years?  Are you moving into your greatness?  Are you looking at the scale of your efforts, examining your vision, and staying flexible with the dynamism of Life?  Most important, are you shifting your project, decorating around your larger dog, and accommodating the greatness of your life’s Garden with new design changes?  Remember: although we cannot know exactly what it is,  the best is yet to be.

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● If you enjoy this post, please click “like” in the FB widget in the right hand column.  You’ll have our undying gratitude plus a huge rise in your Good Karma.

 

● Kebba Buckley Button is a Master’s Degree scientist, a minister, and the award-winning author of  the 2012 book, Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core (http://tinyurl.com/abd47jr), and also Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br).  She also has a natural healing and stress management practice and is a celebrated public speaker.

 

● Your comments are welcome!

 

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● Reach the writer at kebba@kebba.com .

UpBeat Living: Roger Ebert on Remaking His Voice

Tags

Cancer, Gratitude, irrepressible, positivity, Roger Ebert, Upbeat, UpBeat Living

© 2013 Kebba Buckley Button.  World Rights Reserved.

Roger Ebert 2002
Photo by Andrew Sullivan

In the previous post, UpBeat Living celebrated the irrepressible, upbeat nature and achievements of Roger Ebert, who sadly passed away on April 4^th.  Today, we celebrate his final project, Remaking My Voice.

Known primarily as the most authentic and truly blunt film critic to grace our TV screens, Ebert had been a chatty communicator since at least grade school.  In first grade, he was told he talked too much.  By High School, he was a reporter serving the school newspaper.  By age 25, he was working for the Chicago Sun-Times.  He continued to work for the Sun-Times in various media until his death.  He used his voice for radio, television, and movies.

In what could have been seen as a tragedy, Ebert went on to lose his physical voice in 2006.  Cancer surgery made it impossible for him to talk.  After an apparently successful operation to rebuild his jaw, Ebert thought he was going back to work in a few weeks.  He had pre-taped six weeks of programs.  However, one day his carotid artery—the huge artery that runs along the side of the side of the neck, behind the jaw, and up into the brain— burst. His doctor said he had never seen anyone survive a carotid artery rupture. Ebert then spent a year in the hospital and had six more ruptures of the carotid.  The team gave up on reconstruction of the jaw.  His physical voice was done.  Ebert would later write: “[H]uman speech is an ingenious manipulation of our breath, within the sound chamber of our mouth and respiratory system.  We need to be able to hold and manipulate that breath, in order to form sounds.”  He could no longer do that.  But he was still sparkling, animated, and funny.

Now this dynamo simply accelerated into new forms of expression, as well as greatly stepping up his writing via blogs and Twitter.  He began “speaking” by keyboarding at a computer that spoke for him.   Saying he had always taken for granted the ability to speak, Ebert presented a TED talk in 2011 (www.youtube.com/watch?v=KNXOVpN8Wgg).  Sitting with his wife and three friends, they shared the narrative and Ebert finished with a joke, which he keyboarded into a laptop that spoke for him.

Ebert’s final message to those of us “listening”:  “[W]hat you see is not all you get!”  To attempt rebuilding his jaw, surgeons had harvested bone from his shoulders, which actually affected not only his shoulder profile, but also the way he walked.  Now missing a jaw altogether, Ebert had an unusual face shape.  He found that people would stare, and some would assume he was deaf, then shouting to him.  Only his physical voice was missing.  Through technology, he had found his greater voice, and he could express himself more and better than ever.  In his TED talk, Ebert did not talk about gratitude for life as such, but he expressed it, in his lively ebullience and his obvious love for communication, for his wife, and for his friends.  This was a man who truly lived.

Roger Ebert:  a voice for the ages.  Let us continue to hear him and his message.

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● If  you enjoy this post, please click “like” in the FB widget in the right hand column.  You’ll have our undying gratitude plus a huge rise in your Good Karma.

 

● Kebba Buckley Button is a Master’s Degree scientist, a minister, and the award-winning author of  the 2012 book, Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core (http://tinyurl.com/abd47jr), and also Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br).  She also has a natural healing and stress management practice and is a celebrated public speaker.

 

● Your comments are welcome!

 

● Get these articles by email– just click the Subscribe Free option in the right column.

 

● Reach the writer at kebba@kebba.com .

 

UpBeat Living: What Mothers Your Invention?

Tags

Aron Ralston, at choice, choices, Clinton Kelly, fulfilled, happy, Kebba, living beyond, Necessity is the mother of invention, overcoming fear, Stacy London, unstuck, What Not To Wear

© 2012 Kebba Buckley Button.  World Rights Reserved.

Around 360 BC, Plato (in Greek), famously referred to “necessity, which is the mother of invention”.  Plato was writing, in Plato’s Republic, Book II, about creating a new state out of the needs of the people.  He and Adeimantus were discussing what that new state could and should be, based on the needs that were known.  They imagined.  They designed.  A number of authors and pundits since have used the phrase, “necessity is the mother of invention”.  This is generally understood to mean that if something is needed strongly enough, then a solution or an innovation will be found. This principle goes for the smallest levels of challenges and the greatest.

Consider this example.  A friend remembers repairing a grandfather clock, in which a tiny part had broken.  The part was no longer available, and the clock stood silent and useless.  My friend puzzled and tinkered. Today, decades later, the clock works well, and there is still a sewing needle, deep in the works of the clock.

In another example of solving small problems, a client tells of having an annoying drip from her kitchen exhaust system onto her glass-top stove.  The drip made a strange film on the stovetop, which adhered to any cooking tool passing by that spot.  In an otherwise attractive kitchen, until the cause and solution of the drip itself could be found, a small and lovely temporary solution was developed:  put a tiny terracotta baking dish on the stovetop, under the drip.  The tiny baking dish also serves as a spoon rest, so it remains.  How many tiny innovations have you made, that enhanced your daily life?

In the TLC television show, What Not to Wear (WNTW), over 200 episodes of makeovers have taken place.  But this is no shopping show, no find-the-right-pants show, no get-a-better-hairstyle show.  There is a much larger vision.  WNTW creates a unique opportunity for women—and an occasional man—to completely re-envision how they present themselves to the world.  Each participant, or “contributor”, is offered the chance to go to New York City with their entire wardrobe and have their collection reviewed by Stacy London and Clinton Kelly.  Stacy and Clinton literally take away any pieces that they believe do not work for the contributor’s lifestyle; this is often the entire wardrobe.  There is no going back.  The old clothes are gone.  The contributor is then given a $5000 card to use to shop for new pieces by WNTW rules.  In the studio, as the old clothes are disappearing before the contributor’s eyes, the opportunity opens questions such as:  what are the essentials of who I am?  What do I take with me into this new time of my life, and how?  How do I design my appearance,  to  represent who I really am?  By the time the wardrobe is replaced, the person’s hair restyled, and new makeup designed, observers can see the contributor’s attitude, stance, languaging, and self-esteem powerfully shifted.  Contributors have often reported great gains in their relationships and careers after their makeovers.  WNTW creates the necessity to re-invent, not only a person’s style, but a person’s self-concepts, by removing the contributor’s habitual lifestyle props: their wardrobe.  WNTW mothers (re)invention.

Occasionally, a serious situation may be the mother of our invention or innovation.  In 2003, 28-year-old outdoorsman Aron Ralston was mountain climbing in Utah, when his arm became wedged between boulders.  Ralston remained there for over 5 days, until he realized he could leverage enough force to break two of his arm bones and cut off his now-dead forearm with a dull multi-tool.  This graduate of Carnegie-Mellon University had majored in mechanical engineering and French, and had minored in piano.  He knew his piano days were over.  He knew that, to live, he would need to break and cut off the now-useless arm, rappel down a cliff one-armed, and hike 8 miles.  He did these things.  Today, he still climbs mountains, wearing a  prosthesis, and he has a wife, a son, and a speaking career.  When Ralston realized his arm was lifeless, he re-invented himself and his life.  Read more about Ralston in his book, Between a Rock and a Hard Place.

So in your life, right now, what necessity is calling you to invent something?  Do you need a re-invent a relationship that isn’t working, innovate a change in your stale business life, or invent a new schedule with more family time?  Is the ugly doorway of your home in need of a change of direction and redesign of the porch?  Is your health calling you to re-invent your wellness, with a fresh exercise/diet/supplements regime?  What necessity will be the mother of your next invention?  Enjoy your inventing!

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● Your comments are welcome!

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● Reach the writer at kebba@kebba.com .

 

UpBeat Living: Energy of Your Gates and Gateways

Tags

at choice, choices, Effective living, energy, friendships, fulfilled, goals, grateful, Gratitude, Kebba, Mental equivalents

© 2012 Kebba Buckley Button.  World Rights Reserved.

Photo from Travel-Spot.com

Where is the most beautiful gate you’ve ever seen?  Was it modern or ancient?  What was it made of?  Was it the gate to a home, or a hotel entry gate?  Was it a vintage City entry gate?  What purposes did it serve?  How did you feel as you gazed at that gate?  There are a number of ways in which gates can serve us.

Gates are used mainly for security, to impress, or to commemorate something.  Most gates are designed to filter something, such as entrance gates for movie theaters, or the gate to a yard.  Paris has one of the world’s most famous gates, the Arc de Triomphe, a commemorative monument to those who served and/or died in the defense of France, in the French Revolutionary War and the Napoleonic War.

The most distinctive gate I have ever seen is the Stargate from the movie and TV show of the same name.  An ornate circle of “nahquadah” perhaps 20 feet across, the Stargate filters people and other living beings who want to be transferred quickly between planets.  People jump into its circumference, and they are conveyed instantly.  When the Stargate is switched off, no one can come in through it.  It conveys the good guys and prevents the enemy from arriving.

Now consider the gate to your yard.  It allows you ingress and egress for people and packages, and it keeps out some people and dogs you might not want straying into your yard.  In Feng Shui, your gate has energetics, which vary by its placement and its appearance.  It is important to keep your gate in good repair, and to keep it lovely, if possible.  Look at the next two pictures, which show the pieces of an old gate and then the gate after repair.

Photo by Kebba Buckley Button

Which gate would you rather have?  Which is more pleasing?  Which one has better energy?  Obviously, the “after” gate is more pleasing and has better energy.  That one will help energize your yard.  It will draw in great energy, perhaps vitality, great relationships, and prosperity.

One more level: what about your mental gateways?  How effectively do they protect your Inner Peace?  What are your mental gateways allowing in?  Are they welcoming vitality, great relationships, and prosperity?  Over time, you have learned to filter negative thoughts and not allow negative people to disturb your mental/emotional/spiritual peace. No doubt you are always learning better how to do this.  So on the flip side, what are you attracting?  Would you like to learn a simple exercise to attract more?

Photo by Kebba Buckley Button

Today, design your Lifegate and install it in your mind.  Imagine a beautiful gate, perhaps surrounded by lush plantings, or attached to a lovely wall made of stone.  Make your gate of any material you like.  Look in magazines, in Google Images, and in photo calendars for ideas.  You can always adjust your gate later, in materials, height, width, thickness and color(s).  When you have settled on your intial Lifegate, sit quietly for a few minutes, twice per day, and picture the energies you want flowing into your life through your gateway.  Picture vitality entering.  Picture your vitality arriving, then your prosperity, then any other qualities or energies you would like to have flowing in.  Be in touch with your gratitude, which will strongly support the good conditions flowing in…and staying.  Call up the mental image of your Lifegate often, see it in vivid detail, and see the flow you want coming in through it.  See the gate shut to negativity and takers.

It’s your Lifegate.  You are in charge.  Maintain all the gates of your life for the Highest and Best.  What will give you the best energy and the most of the life you want?  It’s up to you.

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● Your comments are welcome!

 

● Reach the writer at kebba@kebba.com .

UpBeat Living: Life Bats You… in a Different Direction

Tags

adjusting to change, energy, Feeling energized, friendships, fulfilled, grateful, healing, Kebba, living beyond, making changes, moving on, Relationships, stress tips

Photo by http://www.livelifehappy.com

© 2012 Kebba Buckley Button.  World Rights Reserved.

Think of the top 3 disappointing events you’ve had in life.  Maybe you were in a relationship you believed in, and suddenly it was over.  How about the time you had your heart set on a job, you knew you were the prime candidate, and you didn’t get it?  Then there was that friend who suddenly cut you off, with a weird reason or no reason.  Remember how much that hurt?

Enter, the Pinball Machine Theory of Life.

Sometimes, it’s like you are the ball on a pinball game board.  After the token goes into the machine, and the spring launcher is pulled and released, the ball zips up the slope of the game board.  Sometimes, like the pinball, you are racing up the board of life thinking you are definitely headed in a certain direction.  The right direction, surely.  Then you get hit with a flipper.  Ow!  For a moment, you don’t even know what your new direction is, right?  You’re just reverberating with the impact of the flipper (ow!), feeling the pain, and trying to get your bearings again.  Then you begin collecting yourself, look up, and see what unintended direction you are now headed in.  Yikes!  This is a new direction!  Not what the plan was!

Now let’s talk about that major relationship change.  Grammy-Award winning musician Garth Brooks has a powerful song called, “Thank God for Unanswered Prayers.”  In the song, he tells of being at a football game with his wife and seeing the woman he dated in high school.  Back then, he used to pray for that relationship every night.  By the time he saw his old flame again, he realized he would not be in the amazing relationship he was in with his wife, had the relationship with his old flame worked out.  So now he is massively grateful for the passing of that old relationship.  He was redirected on the Pinball Machine of Life, and now he is deeply glad.

Now, that perfect job you didn’t get—what changes would that have created in your life?  Changes that would have prevented something great that then did happen?  Here’s an example from this writer’s life:  20 years ago, she flew to Denver for a pre-hiring interview with an international company.  Having done projects with the CEO of the Colorado Division, she knew it was only a matter of negotiating the position and salary.  In Denver, she scoped out where to rent an apartment and what moving arrangements would be involved.  But when she called the man who was to interview her, he said he would call back in 20 minutes and never did. He never managed to meet with her during the 5 days she was there.  When the CEO asked how her conversations with the interviewer went, she told him they never even met.  The CEO said, “but I thought it was a pre-hiring interview?’  She said, “yes, I thought so, too.”  She never heard from the company again.  It was a bitter disappointment that hurt for many months.  Now, however, she sees that she would never have met and married her husband, had she been given the job in Denver.  She was redirected for a powerful reason.

As to a friend who suddenly cut you off, let’s put it in perspective and then give thanks.  Recently, a client was suddenly dropped as a friend because she declined a vacuum cleaner demonstration.  That’s right.  She politely declined an emailed request, due to an extreme work schedule.  Also, she did not know the friend-of-a-friend-of a friend that she would be helping by giving 2 hours for a demonstration of a product she could not afford.  The inviter then sent an attack email, assaulting the client’s integrity and spirituality.  The client called the inviter’s wife to ask if she felt the same way.  The wife said she would call back.  Immediately the inviter emailed the client again, nastily saying she must not go behind his back to talk to his wife, and best she not contact either of them again.  Did the client really want to be friends with people who would go ballistic over small matters?  Reconsidering a number of past hints of the nature of these “friends”, the client sadly let these friendships go.  Since, she has come to be glad they are no longer in her life.  Now she has more time for more compatible friends.  She was redirected for powerful reasons.

If you are a person of faith, remember this timeless truth [Romans 8:28]:  “We know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him…”  When the flippers hit you, you are being directed for powerful purposes, by a wisdom greater than our own.  Do your best to deal with the hurt.  Then embrace the new opportunities that are arriving.  Be the happy and grateful pinball.

_______________________________________________________________

● Your comments are welcome!

 

● Reach the writer at kebba@kebba.com .