What To Do When There’s Nothing You Can Do About That

Tags

Depression, Go(o)d Thoughts, peace within, Pray, stress, Stress Management

© 2015 Kebba Buckley Button, MS, OM. World Rights Reserved.

 

Photo by Dreamstime–abdone

From time to time, we are stuck in, or we see, a situation that is ridiculous, absurd, and not right. We feel stress and anxiety, even depression. After writing our Congressperson, we may still feel frustrated or reviled, even to the point of having a tight stomach, a headache, or knots in our back, because there is nothing we can do. Here are several examples.

 

A TV show tells the story of a house that disappeared overnight. The husband came home and found his house missing– a site-built home, not a mobile home. It evolved that there was an inheritance dispute. Do you feel stressed, hearing about this? Yet there is nothing the observer can do about it.

 

In a famous story, a family hired architect Frank Lloyd Wright to build a country home for them adjacent to their favorite wooded picnic spot, a flat rock at the edge of a stream. The family wanted to easily access their beautiful spot and its view, and eat there more often. The architect decided he wanted to build the rock into the home, and the family lost their favorite outdoor picnic spot, its view, and their family tradition.  In addition, according to their son, “you can’t really live in such a house”. So they lost their picnic spot, spent massive funds, were unable to live in the house, and made an architect famous for “The House at Fallingwater”. The house became a museum. Do you feel frustrated or angry when you think about this? Yet there is nothing the observer can do about it.

 

In Wisconsin, a video bubbled up that portrays several men trapping a deer, wrestling with it to put a yellow t-shirt on it, and laughing. The deer escaped and has been seen since, still wearing a portion of the yellow t-shirt. The Wisconsin Department of Natural Resources advises that the deer looks healthy and should be left alone. Watching the video, a friend was reminded of human sexual assault, and she imagined how the three men treat the women in their lives, then laugh. My friend feels very disturbed by this story and the behavior of the three men. Do you? And yet, there is nothing the observer can do about it.

 

The stock market is acting squirrelly, the US border with Mexico is not secure, North Korea is threatening SONY and the USA in general, another abused child has disappeared. Boko Haram has murdered another 2000 Nigerian villagers and eradicated their villages, in one week . Yet there is nothing the observer can do about it.

 

But wait! Yes, the observer/you can do three things:

1. Pray or hold Go(o)d Thoughts, even if the event seems to be over.
2. Detach, exhale, drop your shoulders, and turn your attention to peaceful thoughts. Relax physically, and don’t allow yourself to go over and over the sequence. No obsessing. If the bad thoughts come back again, exhale each time.
3. Focus on what is good, uplifting, and meaningful to you. This will cause the lower thoughts to be displaced, and your energy level and health will begin to rise immediately.

 

For the spiritual reader, Phillipians 4:8 advises us:

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.

 

What to do when there’s nothing you can do? Pray, hold Go(o)d Thoughts, and set it aside. And get on with generating Good in and around your life.

 

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Energy – Peace – Meditation

 

 

 

 

 

• Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert.  She also has a natural healing practice and is an ordained minister. She is the author of the award-winning book, Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), plus the 2013 book, Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core, Second Edition(http://tinyurl.com/mqg3uvc ). Her newest book is Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine, available through her office. Just email SacredMeditation@kebba.com.
• For an appointment or to ask Kebba to speak for your group: bookings@kebba.com .

UpBeat Living: What To Do When There’s Nothing You Can Do About That

Tags

at choice, Dealing with stress, detachment, Effective living, exhale, living beyond, peace within, personal peace, Releasing, stress, Stress Management, trading stress for energy, UpBeat Living

© 2013 Kebba Buckley Button.  World Rights Reserved.

Photo by Dreamstime–abdone

From time to time, we are stuck in, or we see, a situation that is ridiculous, absurd, and not right.  We feel stressed and anxious.  We may feel frustrated, even to the point of having a tight stomach, a headache, or knots in our back, because there is nothing we can do.  Here are several examples.

A TV show tells the story of a house that disappeared overnight.  The husband came home and found his house missing– a site-built home, not a mobile home.  It evolved that there was an inheritance dispute. Do you feel stressed, hearing about this? Yet there is nothing the observer can do about it.

In a famous story, a family hired architect Frank Lloyd Wright to build a home for them adjacent to their favorite wooded picnic spot, a flat rock at the edge of a stream, with its own waterfall.  The family wanted to easily access their favorite picnic spot and eat there more often. The architect decided he wanted to build the rock and waterfall into the home, so the family lost their favorite outdoor picnic spot.  In addition, according to their son, “you can’t really live in such a house”.  So they lost their picnic spot, spent massive funds, were unable to live in the house, and made an architect famous for “The House at Fallingwater”.  The house became a museum.  Do you feel frustrated or angry when you think about this?  Yet there is nothing the observer can do about it.

In the news this week from Wisconsin, a video bubbled up that portrays several men trapping a deer, wrestling with it to put a yellow t-shirt on it, and laughing.  The deer escaped and has been seen since, still wearing a portion of the yellow t-shirt.  Wisconsin Department of Natural Resources advises that the deer looks healthy and should be left alone.  Watching the video, a friend was reminded of human sexual assault, and she imagined how the three men treat the women in their lives, then laugh.  My friend feels very disturbed by this story and the behavior of the three men.  Do you?  And yet, there is nothing the observer can do about it.

The stock market is acting squirrelly, the US border with Mexico is not secure, North Korea may launch missiles at another country, another abused child has disappeared.  Yet there is nothing the observer can do about it.

But wait!  Yes, the observer/you can do three things:

1. Pray or hold Go(o)d Thoughts, even if the event seems to be over.
2.  Detach, exhale, drop your shoulders, and turn your attention away.  Relax physically, and don’t allow yourself to go over and over the sequence.  No obsessing.  If the bad thoughts come back again, exhale each time.
3.  Focus on what is good, uplifting, and meaningful to you.  This will cause the lower thoughts to be displaced, and your energy level will begin to rise immediately.

Phillipians4:8 advises us:

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

What to do when there’s nothing you can do?  Pray, hold Good Thoughts, and let it go.  And get on with your life.

———————————————————–

● If you enjoy this post, please click “like” in the FB widget in the right hand column.  You’ll have our undying gratitude plus a huge rise in your Good Karma.

 

● Kebba Buckley Button is a Master’s Degree scientist, a minister, and the award-winning author of  the 2012 book, Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core (http://tinyurl.com/abd47jr), and also Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br).  She also has a natural healing and stress management practice and is a celebrated public speaker.

 

● Your comments are welcome!

 

● Get these articles by email– just click the Subscribe Free option in the right column.

 

● Reach the writer at kebba@kebba.com .

UpBeat Living: Letting Go

Tags

Effective living, fulfilled, happy, Letting go, moving on, unstuck

© 2012 Kebba Buckley Button.  World Rights Reserved.

 

Recently, I met a man  in a meditation class who said all the major things in his life had just changed.  His relationship, his career, and the part of town he lived in had all changed quite recently.   He was feeling highly impacted by all these things shifting at once, even though he was looking forward to the positive results and new horizons.  He seemed almost shell-shocked.  He was trying meditation as a means to collect his wandering, stressed consciousness and perhaps help him feel grounded again.  He was aware of a need to emotionally let go of his previous ideas of who he was, and also to let go of bonds he had had with family, friends, neighbors, and colleagues.  I heard myself saying to him, “it’s only the process of detaching that hurts”.

 

The more we hang on to the past, the stronger we grip the ties that bind, the more we give the bonds strength.  For example, we may care about a relative or romantic interest who does not care much about us.  The more we talk about that love we want, that we are not getting from that person, the more energy we are giving the relationship, and the stronger the bond is—on our part.  Continuing to love and ache for returned love, from a person who does not return those feelings, is no thankful situation.  It is unrewarding.  I once heard this described as, “going to a hardware store looking for milk”.  Yet, giving up that one-sided caring may be extremely painful.  And we need to give it up.

 

In the 1980’s , the term “codependence” , or “codependency”,  came into use, in part for unrequited caring.  When a person wants something from another who cannot or will not give it, and the person keeps pursuing it, that behavior may be viewed as controlling. If you want to read more about this way of looking at things, look for books by Melody Beattie, such as Codependent No More.

 

Some time ago, a young couple who were neighbors of mine moved away.  I found out only hours before the moving van removed them from my street.  I was jolted. I felt distracting pangs of loss for days.  Ouch!  I asked myself what I was “missing” so strongly.  I was very fond of the couple and yet knew that our friendship really never got off the ground.  I would probably not hear from them again.  So what were these pangs?  Then I realized, the young couple didn’t care that I cared.   My admiration and affection for them was entirely one-sided.  They had no particular interest in me.  While it is always good to like and admire people, and to wish them the best, I needed to let go of the idea that we would become friends someday.  I had entirely created my own pangs!  Then I remembered  that word for one-sided attachment:  codependency.  Oh yes!  Time to laugh at my humanity.  And I did laugh!

 

I got busy with my real life and my real friends and lost my distraction over the loss of the lovely neighbors.  Only the detaching was painful.  It feels great to have no further bonds there.  Who and what do you need to let go of?

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● Kebba Buckley Button is a corporate stress management trainer and the author of the award-winning book, Discover The Secret Energized You, and the 2012 book, Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core.  She is also an ordained minister.

● Your comments are welcome!

● Get these articles by email– just click the Subscribe Free option in the right column!

● Reach the writer at kebba@kebba.com .