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© 2021 Kebba Buckley Button, MS, OM.  World Rights Reserved. http://www.kebba.com

Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

Sometimes, when you’re grieving, your brain just locks up.  Brainlock makes you feel stoopid, because you can’t navigate a simple website to get the mortgage payment in, and maybe you don’t even care.  Sometimes you can’t answer the phone and make sense.  But you’re an adult, and you have Stuff to take care of.  Today, I had bad Brainlock!   For about 5 hours, I could do nothing but sit in my favorite chair and drink tea.  And think.  It is now 3 months since my husband passed away, after several years of illness.  But yesterday was our anniversary, and that really hit me hard.  A relative texted:  “we would really rather be wishing the two of you a Happy Anniversary!”  Yes!  While I wouldn’t call my husband back from the Beyond, to continue living with his painful illness, I am very wistful, remembering the good times we shared.  And this morning, my brain simply refused to do anything but deal with my sadness. This is only one of many Brainlock episodes I’ve had since his passing.  So the following tips are from me as the holistic therapist and also from me as the widow going through it in current weeks.  These work!

Here are my top tips to deal with Grief Brainlock.

  1.  If you must get in gear, drink some delicious coffee, or another beverage with lots of antioxidants.  Black tea, green tea, something with high grade chocolate or cocoa, or freshly juiced green drinks– all will help nourish your brain so you can get going quickly.  Eating high grade chocolate or a bowl full of blueberries will also help.  Organic is better.
  2. If you must get in gear really quickly, go against my usual advice and eat something sweet.  This will lift your blood sugar quickly, so your brain can compute enough for you to function.  This is not permission to start a high-sugar diet!
  3. If you have time, take a lovely hot shower and wash your hair thoroughly.  This will wash off the surface energy of your grief, while relaxing your muscles.
  4. If you have even more time, try a therapeutic soak:  at least 20 minutes at the “ahhhh” temperature, in low light, with at least 2 pounds of Epsom Salts.  The magnesium ions in the Epsom Salts will exchange through your skin, and the toxins will leave.  You will literally feel better with fewer grief toxins in your body, and the magnesium will strengthen your muscles.
  5. Let yourself cry whenever the wave comes on.  Sob, if you want to.  I am a silent cryer and a silent sobber, so I just put my head in my hands and lean forward, and let it roll through me.  The relatives walking through the room know exactly what’s going on, and sometimes they gently place a hand on my back while I sob. Certainly, God “has your back”, and sometimes you may actually feel God’s hand there.  Crying releases certain chemical compounds that literally make you feel better.
  6. Look for my article on the Top 6 Superpowers of Crying, from National Grief Awareness Day, August 30th.  Take it to heart.
  7. If you have the morning off, or the day without appointments, try just honoring the Brainlock.  Sit in your chair, phone off, tea at hand.  Be stoopid.  Let it run its course for 5 hours, as I did today.  Let stoopidness run through your system: it’s your bodymind system’s way of putting the brakes on.  You’ve been dealing with so much!  You need a break from pushing yourself during this demanding time.

    © Kebba Buckley Button

Notice how much softer and lighter you feel after trying one or more of these.  And please let me know how you’re doing.  Take care of you as best you can, remember the good times, and celebrate the love that always surrounds you.  And God bless you in your process. Now that’s you: more and more Healthy Happy Loving Lifesm!  


Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert, holistic healer, and award-winning author who celebrates life.  She has a longtime natural healing practice and is an ordained minister. Among her books are: Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), Inspirations for Peace Within:  Quotes and Images to Uplift and Inspire, and Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine.  The books are available on Amazon and through Kebba’s office.   To email us, kebba@kebba.com .

Happy healthy loving life

Books by Kebba Buckley Button