© 2020 Kebba Buckley Button, MS, OM. www.kebba.com
Does rage help? Ever? Sure, there are things going on in life that can make us really angry. In Healthy Happy Loving Lifesm, we do what is most effective for the way we want to live. Usually, that’s contented, balanced, holistic living. But sometimes we see events in the news that show us again how very important it is to live the Healthy Happy Loving Lifesm way. Let’s consider a couple of situations.
If you had “upset” a vase full of flowers, what would that look like? It might look like the vase was now on its side, or smashed on the ground, with the flowers and water all over. Would it help the vase, the flowers, or the water, to be “upset”? Maybe your cat knocked the vase over, probably without intending to. Every element would now be in disarray, none fulfilling its purpose or providing any joy. There is no benefit in the vase being “upset”.
The same is true of humans. We have a choice as to whether something will “upset” us, or “turn us on our side”. Would you be upset if a cat knocked over your vase of flowers? Would you be less upset if the cat were your favorite, the vase generic, and the flowers from someone you detested? What if you learned, right after the vase was smashed, that the flowers were a rare, expensive type, sent by a dear loved one who you just learned had gone into hospice this morning? Would you feel more grief over the same scene? The scene would be the same, but your interpretation would be different. You would react differently, based on your ideas about the same scene. What would be the most effective way to respond? Calmly and quickly? Your choice.
Celebrity news is great for illustrating the basics of life choices, at a dramatic level. Awhile ago, we read that actor Charlie Sheen went into a rage and trashed a hotel room. The damage, including a broken chandelier, is said by USAToday.com to have been about $7000. And why was this successful actor so upset that he was actually in a rage, tearing up his hotel room at the Plaza Hotel in New York? Police called to the scene said he was having trouble finding his wallet and cellphone after spending time with an escort. His response was to rip apart various things in the room.
Did he really think the chandelier was hiding his wallet and cellphone, thus deserving to be punched out? Famous for spending time with escorts, did he not yet have a procedure to protect himself? Does he not always leave the cash in the bedside table and tuck his wallet and phone in the lining of his suitcase, or in the room safe? He was at choice when he hired the escort. He was at choice when he put his objects wherever in the room. He was at choice getting drunk or taking drugs. He was at choice when he realized his objects were in no obvious location. He was at choice when he went into a rage and chose to tear up hotel property. He would also have been at choice, had he quietly called hotel security to assist him, his cel company to turn off his phone, and the escort’s company to report the issue.
Charlie Sheen’s choices resulted in police being called and Charlie owing the hotel thousands of dollars. In addition, he is seen again as a person who has no control, or rather, a person who makes lousy choices that work for no one. And the worst effect? His ex-wife and their two young daughters were staying in the same hotel. While Charlie was choosing his behaviors, was he considering what his daughters would think of him? You decide. The truth is that we are always at choice. So you choose your behavior, even when tempted to be in a rage. And that’s living in the realm of: Healthy Happy Loving Lifesm! Are you in?
Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert and award-winning author who celebrates life. She also has a longtime natural healing practice and is an ordained minister. Among her books are: Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), Inspirations for Peace Within: Quotes and Images to Uplift and Inspire, and Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine. The books are available on Amazon and through Kebba’s office. To email us, email@example.com .