So here we are, almost 2 weeks into the New Year, 2016. Does it still feel new? Have you landed yet? Are you comfortably going along at the pace you imagined, as you set your New Year resolutions? Or are you having Social Stress?
As we leap, flow, or stumble backward into this New Year, many of us had already been thinking about what qualities we wanted in our lives for the next 12 months. While our way of living did not change on the stroke of 12 midnight, going into January 1, what we resolved to have different this year may have changed. Perhaps you have been thinking you would like that health condition to be cleared this year, or you would like that nasty divorce completed. Perhaps you would like to find that ideal degree program, get some special training, get a job where you’ll be happier, or tune up your business. Have you been writing down what you want to be true? Written goals get achieved much more often. You can always change them later, if your ideas of happiness change.
Speaking of happiness, did you have it in 2015? Were you pleased, content, and often smiling? Could you honestly say, “I have the life I want, and I am grateful”?
Have your relationships been just what you want? Or are you often frustrated with your relationships? The fact is that there are over 7 billion people on this planet, and you can meet a lot of them! In this new year 2016, would you like more closeness, more meaningful conversation, more laughs, and perhaps more fun? Are you looking for a significant other, a business partner, better employees? Or simply more smooth and pleasant business interactions? To eliminate Social Stress, try these three tools for tuning up your social satisfaction:
- Listen to people and affirm. People want to receive the message that they are significant, that they “count”. Did you say you wanted some new friends? You may be just the great listener a new friend has been looking for. Listening is also the top way most people get the message they are cared about. Especially if you are not sure what the person is expressing, say it back to them, asking, “Now is this what you’re saying?” And add an affirmative thought of your own.
- Consider the Mirror Effect when things go wrong. Sometimes the very thing someone claims about you is true of them, not you. A contractor I hired said I was selfish (hey, who was paying whom?), but she turned out to be a complete narcissist. Negotiation is sometimes impossible with these people, and you may have to walk. If so, walk quietly, and focus on what you want next, not what you don’t want.
- Consider that some people aren’t for you, personally or professionally. If the other person/brother/Mom/cousin/neighbor/coworker is generally not responding to your emails, ideas or friendliness, consider giving less or letting go. You’ll have more energy for other relationships and for projects. And there are so many interesting people and projects in the World. Check Meetup.com for any subject area you may have in common with others, including simply winetasting or dining out. Your faith group has many ministries and projects, even yoga, games nights, book groups, writers’ discussions, and sports groups. I know a large Christian church in Phoenix that even has a motorcycle ministry.
Now install the following in your consciousness by repeating it 25 times twice daily, on rising and on going to sleep: “I have the life and the relationships I want, and I am grateful!” You’ll call in what you want with your fresh attitude. And now, may your year be joyfilled and bright. That’s Upbeat Living !
- Kebba Buckley Button is a stress management expert. She also has a natural healing practice and is an ordained minister. She is the author of the award-winning book, Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br), plus the 2013 book, Peace Within: Your Peaceful Inner Core, Second Edition(http://tinyurl.com/mqg3uvc ). Her newest book is Sacred Meditation: Embracing the Divine, available through her office. Just email SacredMeditation@kebba.com.
- For an appointment or to ask Kebba to speak for your group: email@example.com .