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© 2013 Kebba Buckley Button.  World Rights Reserved.

Yesterday, I wrote about the kind of day that just makes you want to scream.  The article is called, UpBeat Living: Coping With AAAGH! (http://wp.me/pw4HM-d5 ).  For people who usually have happy, productive days, a day that makes you want to scream is unusual.  I made several recommendations for when this happens to you.  Today, my writer friend Susan Wilson, creator of Ripplespillers, posted an article on a related experience:  when worry is just overtaking you, day after day.  I am reblogging her entire post here, for you who are ready to really deal with WORRY.  You will love her points and pointers.  Enjoy!

When worry hits you between the eyes…

by Susan Wilson, Ripplespillers

Are you a worrier?

Stress, worry, self-help, UpBeat Living, Ripplespillers, Peace WithinDo you toss and turn at night, turning things over in your mind, fretful, stressed, reliving the day’s events in your mind – why did she say that to me?; how can I finish that stats analysis by Thursday?; is that a spot or a lump?…

… or anticipate the next day’s – must get to sleep or I’ll miss the alarm clock and the bus; should visit mum after work in case she’s taken another turn; have that meeting with the boss at 8.30… why so early… that can’t be good…

Sound familiar?

I have to confess I’m a bit of a worrier. In fact, I could probably make that my specialist subject on Mastermind!

A headache is never just a headache to me; it’s always a brain tumour.
Backache is never just a strained muscle; always kidney failure.
A midnight phone call is not an overseas friend but a family emergency
Writer’s block is not just a temporary blip but a permanent state and I’ll never write anything ever again…

You get the picture.

Now, I’m not saying we don’t have to be careful – especially in these days of atrocities and catastrophes. We absolutely do have to keep our eyes open and our antennae raised. We have to concern ourselves with our surroundings and be alert for anything unusual.

But there’s a difference between concern and worry.

Concern reminds me of the old advert for the breakfast cereal, Ready Brek, where a young boy and girl have a tasty bowl of it for breakfast, then jaunt off merrily to school surrounded with an ‘aura’ of heat, ready for anything, protected against everything. Concern is our invisible protection.

Worry, however, is more like a suit of armour – unyielding, unbreatheable, too heavy to move in, ending up crushing the wearer.

So, how do you spot the signs of worry?

If you’re suffering from chronic insomnia, irritability, frustration, anger even, these can often be tell-tale signs. So can headaches, stomach and digestive problems, and pains that spring up anywhere at any time. In extreme cases, self-harming might also raise its ugly head – though I’d hope that, if that’s you, you care enough about yourself to seek help, and seek it now!

Worry is a chronic peace-stealer which, if left unchecked, can all too easily lead to hopelessness!

The Bible has a lot to say about worry:

Worry weighs a person down (Proverbs 12:25)
Don’t worry about anything; instead pray about everything (Phil 4:6)
Do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink, or about your body, what you will wear… (Matt. 6:25)

And my personal favourite:

Don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Matt 6:34)

Ain’t that the truth?

So how do you stop worrying?

  1. Make sure you’re well-rested – your brain won’t be able to process information to its optimum ability, reasonably, dispassionately, if you’re tired or stressed out.
  2. Seize the thought, as soon as it flits across your mind.
  3. Decide if it’s real or imagined (some of my best and most persistent worries are totally fictitious, made up in the comfort of my own head!)
  4. If it’s real, is it something you can do something about?
  5. If it is, then do it: if a health issue, get it checked out; if a relationship problem, get it out in the open and talk about it with your partner (or friend, if it’s a friendship thing); if it’s a work problem, brainstorm actionable steps you can take to either work through it or ask for help with it.
  6. If it’s something you have no control over, then lay it down. If you have a spiritual faith, then pray to your God. Lay all your worry – the whole thing – at his feet. Don’t keep anything back. Don’t just give him the hard stuff, or the stuff you think he wants to take. Give the whole thing away. Just be sure not to lift it back up again when you leave!

Sometimes turning the situation around can help, too.

For example, say you have a presentation to do on Thursday in front of your work colleagues. You’re nervous, you’re losing sleep, you’re beginning to worry.

There could be several reasons for this:
– you might be suffering from feelings of inadequacy
– you might fear the spotlight
– you think someone will ask you something you can’t answer
– you’re scared you’ll dry up – like a rabbit in headlights!

These are all legitimate, if usually unfounded, fears.

Turning the situation around allows you to confront your fear and, once seen, it already becomes smaller. Make it smaller still by some positive roleplay:
– see yourself not as inadequate, but powerful
– visualise yourself as relishing your time in the spotlight
– you’re thoroughly prepared; if you can’t answer that question, nobody can!
– you’re looking forward to the opportunity to share your information

So, when worry comes calling, don’t open the door and let it in. Don’t let it rob you of your peace for a moment longer.

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● Kebba Buckley Button is a Master’s Degree scientist, a minister, and the award-winning author of  the 2012 book, Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core (http://tinyurl.com/abd47jr), and also Discover The Secret Energized You (http://tinyurl.com/b44v3br).  She also has a natural healing and stress management practice and is a celebrated public speaker.

 

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● Reach the writer at kebba@kebba.com .

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