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PossibilitiesPhoto by Fotolia

Photo by Fotolia

© 2013 Kebba Buckley Button.  World Rights Reserved.


One of the most powerful things we can do for ourselves is to be open to positive possibilities in all aspects of life. Are you willing to allow yourself to get well? Are you willing to allow yourself to achieve a promotion? Are you willing to allow yourself a massive upswing in income? Are you willing to allow yourself a happy love relationship?

Have you ever noticed that there are some small or simple things you want to have in life but you don’t seem to go after them? Some of them are so easy to get, yet you don’t go get them. Why not? For example, many people complain about the chair they sit in the most. They say it just doesn’t fit them, it’s too high, it’s too deep, it’s too hard or unsupportive here or there. You have been in these conversations and heard the speeches. Some people can go on for years claiming they want a different desk chair, dining chair, or recliner. Do these folks act like they want to change the chair? Or do they act like people who want to talk about the chair and keep on talking about the chair? What is actually stopping the chair owner from changing the chair?

It is completely clear when we truly want something: we go after it. A morning coffee or mid-day lunch is an absolute goal, achieved daily and without fail, for many people. In larger decisions, we all know people who are sure of what they want. When their chair is not right, they try adjusting it and adding or subtracting pillows. If that doesn’t meet the requirement, then they go to stores that sell chairs in their price range and start auditioning chairs. Soon, they show you their wonderful new chair, beaming at how pleased they are with the both the comfort and the problem solution. These people are open to successful changes.

The classic formula for achieving something is:

  1. Set the goal.
  2. Set the approximate time frame and budget. List the steps needed.
  3. Take action.
  4. Stay focused until complete.
  5. Enjoy your achievement.

So why do we so often fail to get to Step 3? I propose that there is a category of desire which is not a real desire. It’s the category of What We Want to Want (W4). If I only want-to-want my new chair, I will not take action. I am not willing to take action. Willingness is an element for success. Inaction is not just a matter of laziness, although it may appear so.   How many people do you know who want-to-want a new job or relationship?  What other examples of W4 can you think of?  You may want to journal about examples you have seen, or examples from your own life.

Do you really want it?  Or do you want-to-want it?  — Kebba Buckley Button

Here is a short method for you to try, in three steps.

1.  Write down your goal, such as: get comfortable chair, find someone new to date, get new job, increase income by $10K per year, get rid of scars, learn to program dreams, increase stamina 50%, lose fifteen pounds without their finding me again. Note how relatively willing you are to do anything about this. Do you want it? Or do you only wish you wanted it?

2.  Write down all your reasons for achieving this goal. What payoffs will you enjoy when the goal is achieved?  Again note your relative willingness to take action. It’s higher now, isn’t it? If not, figure out for whom this goal was really set. Was it for your parents, was it for appearances, or was it for someone else? Now, if this goal wasn’t really your desire, consider setting it aside! Otherwise, proceed.

3.  Vividly picture yourself having achieved this goal, and feel exactly how good it is to have this item, condition, or achievement in your life.

Plan to repeat Steps 2 and 3 daily. Vision it! Check your relative willingness again. Wow! Are you ready now? Then it’s time to stop wanting and go take action! Repeat as desired. Enjoy!


● Kebba Buckley Button is a corporate stress management trainer and the author of the award-winning book, Discover The Secret Energized You, and the 2012 book, Peace Within:  Your Peaceful Inner Core.  She also has a natural healing practice and is an ordained minister.

● Your comments are welcome!

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● Reach the writer at kebba@kebba.com .