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Joanne Deck, CWC

This blog was written by Joanne Deck, posted June 29th, 2012. Posted in Blog, Sane Sex for Singles, http://www.joannedeck.com/blog/just-because-you-can-doesn’t-mean-you-should/

Joanne Deck is the award-winning author of Worth Waiting For:  Sane Sex For Singles.  Joanne is a wellness coach who totally walks her talk.


The sexual freedom presented in the movies and on television today has many people unsure how to behave.  I saw evidence of this when I was dating, and this phrase frequently came to mind: just because you can doesn’t mean you should.  Freedom doesn’t only mean the right to say “yes”; it also includes the opportunity to say “no thank you” or “not right now.”

I love the idea of freedom.  It angers me to think that when the pill was introduced in the 1960s, physicians tried to keep it from women because they thought it gave them too much freedom.  Thankfully their attempts to confine women were unsuccessful, and the pill turned 52 on May 9 of this year!

While the pill gave women more freedom, it also gave them more responsibility.  They could no longer blame fear of pregnancy as the reason to say “no.”  Women had to own their feelings and claim the right to control, protect, and honor their bodies.  In a sense, that’s what sane sex is all about.  To postpone physical intimacy until emotional intimacy develops places a high value on our bodies, acknowledging that they are a treasure and not to be shared freely or thoughtlessly.

This Independence Day I encourage you to recognize and celebrate all the forms of freedom you enjoy, including sexual freedom.  While we’re at it, we can and should take a moment to be grateful to all those who paved the way so that we can enjoy being free to choose today.


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